A Diffrent Church Culture: Character instead of Charisma
What if we constructed a different church culture? What if we valued character over charisma? What if we had less scandal and pastoral burnout? What if church were different?
We don’t come out and say that charisma matters more than character, we don’t say that performance is the preference over pastoring, but that is often our modus operandi. Character takes a back seat to packing the seats. “The celebrity syndrome destroys accountability… The strong leader who builds a large and successful church is often not held to strict account.”[1] Too much is riding on the good name of the performer. So, coverups happen for the “good” of the church.
What if so much weight and expectation were never meant to be on one pastor? What if we have so many scandals and moral failures, partly because the pastorate was never meant to be what we’ve made it? “We expect the pastor to be a shrink in the pulpit, a CEO in the office, and flawless in every area of his life.”[2] Is this sustainable? Especially when he is also often called to be a celebrity.
It would seem that Christian leaders are especially under attack by the enemy.
One poll showed that nearly 40 percent of the pastors polled had had an extramarital affair since beginning their ministries. And the divorce rate among clergy is increasing faster than in any other profession. The statistics show that the divorce rate among the Protestant clergy in the United States is higher than the national rate 65 percent as compared with 50 percent.[3]
The reality is every pastor is tempted by power, pride, and pleasure. So, it is vital for pastors to have character and accountability, and not be unduly put on a pedestal. If they are put on a pedestal at all it should only be to say with the Apostle Paul: “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”
Yet, sadly, we essentially incentivize hypocrisy through social media. An unwritten role is that pastors have a good social media presence. Actual presence and character have been downplayed and what is seen on the screen is what is valued. The world has been turned upside-down and Satan is having a field day.
Along these lines, Mike Cosper shared that too many of his friends “threw themselves whole-hog into the creation of a persona and devoted all of their energy (and often, the energy of several staff members) into the maintenance of the mask they wore. This left the rest of their life and the rest of their soul unattended, and the darkness they ignored or avoided or pretended didn’t exist eventually shipwrecked their lives, their careers, and in many cases, their families.”[4]
Paul David Tripp astutely points out that the desire and obtainment of fruitful ministry and success can be pursued and obtained for the wrong reasons. One can easily desire more baptisms, a bigger budget, and more buildings not for the glory of God and Kingdom growth, but for the fame and self-worth/identity of the lead pastor. The human heart is fickle, even the pastor’s heart.
“A leader whose heart has been captured by other things doesn’t forsake ministry to pursue those other things; he uses ministry position, power, authority, and trust to get those things. Every leadership community needs to understand that ministry can be the vehicle for pursuing a whole host of idolatries.”[5]
Continued Christian character must be a qualification for leadership, not charisma alone. It is easy to use the right things to the wrong ends. Vance Pitman once pointed out that every man that has an affair in ministry, had an affair with ministry first. Paul David Tripp gives invaluable counsel regarding leadership within the church in his book Lead.[6]
Leaders and teachers can “profess to know God” and yet “deny Him by their works” (Titus 1:16).[7] That’s partly why Christian leaders need to meet the biblical qualifications (1 Tim. 3:1-13; Titus 1:1-9). It is easy to want to teach for shameful gain (Titus 1:11). Yet, those who teach must do so out of love for Christ and others; and have character that commends the message (v. 6-9).
Christians, especially Christian leaders, should demonstrate love, joy, kindness, impartiality, mercy, faithfulness, reasonableness, gentleness, goodness, grace, patience, purity, peace, sincerity, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23; James 3:17). Christians should never be characterized by quarreling, conceit, hostility, gossip, jealousy, rivalry, anger, envy, enmity, slander, strife, dissensions, divisions, or disorder (2 Cor. 12:20; Gal. 5:19-21). In Exodus, we are told that those who were to be placed in leadership were those who feared God, were trustworthy, and hated bribes (Ex. 18:21). Christian leaders who are fit to lead are those who care for the flock and not just for themselves; who feed the flock and not just themselves (Ezek. 34:1-10).
Christian leaders should be motivated to serve out of love of God, and love of people. Not money, not fame, not power. The Apostle Paul said, “Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which He bought with His own blood” (Acts 20:28). Christian leaders have a weighty calling. They are to care for the precious people Messiah Jesus purchased with His very own sacrificial death. That is not something to take lightly. Christian leaders are to shepherd the flock of God that is among them, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have them; not for shameful gain, but eagerly (1 Pet. 5:2). Christian leaders “will have to give an account” of their leadership (Heb. 13:17).
So, in evaluating a Christian leader, we should ask: “Does this person demonstrate strong Christian character? Does this person show compassion and concern? Is this person motivated by love of God and neighbor?” We should not merely ask: “Does this person have charisma and influence?”
Notes
[1] Colson and Vaughn, Being the Body, 332.
[2] Ibid.,332.
[3] Ibid.
[4] Mike Cosper, Recapturing the Wonder: Transcendent Faith in a Disenchanted World, 83.
[5] Paul David Tripp, Lead, 109-110.
[6] “Every leader needs to be the object of ongoing discipleship, every leader needs at moments to be confronted, every leader needs the comforts of the gospel, every leader needs help to see what he would not see on his own, and every leader needs to be granted the love and encouragement to deal with the artifacts of the old self that are still within him. If this is so, then we cannot be so busy envisioning, designing, maintaining, evaluating, and reengineering ministry that we have little time to care for the souls of the ones who are leading this gospel work. A spiritually healthy leadership community participates in the ongoing personal spiritual growth of each one of its members” (Tripp, Lead, 86).
[7] Healthy doctrine is vital (1 Tim. 1:10; 6:3; 2 Tim. 1:13; 4:3; Titus 1:9, 13) and so are good works (1 Tim. 2:10; 5:10, 25; 6:18; 2 Tim. 2:21; 3:17; Titus 1:8; 2:3, 14; 3:1).
How I Survived My Divorce
By Becky O’Brien
For a long time, I didn’t think I’d make it.
I was scared, not knowing how I could manage without a husband and dad in the home for our 10 kids. I was angry. This was not the way it was supposed to be. I prayed that God would help our marriage but didn’t really believe it. So, then I felt guilty.
It is hard to really go back to remember the pain and the rejection I felt. Today I am sitting far down the road—25 years after the separation. I am at the midpoint. I was married just short of 25 years.
We were separated for a long time, 6 years. When we were first separated, I had been a Christian for 11 years. But I loved the Lord and desired to follow Him with all my heart. Every time I read the Word, I would write down verses that spoke to me, memorizing or hiding His word in my heart as I could.
God’s Word
I knew God is sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). Really getting a hold of that truth was so helpful. I would also often read and meditate on Zephaniah 3:17:
The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.
God’s word was the light in my darkness. God’s word was the steady rhythm of truth, amongst a cacophony of lies.
The Church
Because of the situation, we (my children and I) went to a new church. It was mandatory. My husband had been the pastor of the church we had been attending. Not everyone liked the new church at first, but we grew to love it and became a vital part of it. I am so thankful that we were loved and well cared for. We were included, involved, and blessed in many ways.
I am thankful that I have the gift of hospitality and used it by inviting church brothers and sisters to my house, which provided a way to bond and share burdens (because we all have them). It was a way that I felt included in relationships with men and women, both in healthy ways. I missed relating with and communicating with a man. I also enjoyed a mixed Sunday School class where I could have fellowship with families which also provided an example to my children.
In our new church, the pastor and saints loved on us, prayed for us, engaged us, and helped us with physical needs (in very big ways!). I remember standing in the parking lot after church talking and being ministered to; our children played, as we prayed.
Joy
During the long, lonely nights, I would pray—drawing close to my friend who is closer than a brother (Prov. 18:24). I still pray a lot at night.
In the hardest of times, I felt the greatest joy. “The joy of the Lord is my strength” (Neh. 8:10).
I hated the hurt but loved the joy. I knew God was with me. You could not ask for more—but then the “nuts and bolts” of life! It was a roller coaster at times.
Later, when I was farther down the road, and things were going well, and I was more secure, I would long for the joy I experienced when things were so difficult. I experienced the reality of Psalm 46:1, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” I experienced the joy of knowing that the God of the universe was carrying me and caring for me.
Contentment
I was always looking for my husband to return. I remember one time, early on, I thought I heard him come in—someone was talking in the kitchen. I went in expectantly and was crushed when it was the neighbor.
I would always be looking for his car to turn into the driveway. That went on for years. Finally, that is only a memory.
I also remember him picking up the kids for a visit or calling them, and I was jealous sometimes, even angry, because I wanted him to want to see me.
Remembering my yearning for love and care and desire to have a mate… It took a long time to be “content in all things.” It took longer than I now remember. That leads me to share another verse:
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me (Phil. 4:11-13).
How I clung to this verse. It became my focal verse to remind myself of all the time! I worked hard to cast all my cares on the Lord, remembering that He cares for me (1 Pet. 5:7). And I looked to Jesus (Heb. 12:2); oh, how I looked to Jesus.
Jesus the Great Healer
God used my hurting, emptiness, and desperation to draw me into an intimate love relationship with Him. I was not an easy case. For a while, I looked for God in all the wrong places (including another man, food, and other people) to fill what I was really seeking—that intimate relationship with the God of the universe. The God that was real to Moses, David, and Noah. The road was rough, but it was how I grew in intimacy with my Father, my Abba Daddy.
I sorrow over hurting people and desire their salvation. No wonder people turn to the bottle and drugs. I understand—to numb the pain. I am so thankful I had and have Jesus!
We have a Great Healer. I remember having a decorative wood heart that was in two pieces with some kind of metal piece holding the two pieces together. It was very symbolic to me of my broken heart and of the Great Physician’s healing work. He does great heart surgery, by the way. But the healing period is very slow and there’s still some pain along the way.
Incidentally, after hearing of a sweet friend (not close, but dear) who had a broken heart, I passed that on to her. I rarely see her, but recently, after many years, she told me she still has it and thinks of me still. A broken heart will do that. Sometimes the Great Physician uses us as His nurses in His healing work.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Cor. 1:3-4).
So, how did I survive my divorce? I clung to Jesus and His Word. Or rather, they clung to me. They held me although my husband didn’t.
What if Sheep had a Shepherd?
When Jesus saw the masses He had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd (Matt. 9:36). Jesus cared about people, and He was very adamant that pastors care too. Yet, often people are left to face the world on their own.
What if church were different? What if sheep had a shepherd? What if pastors weren’t elevated on the stage or locked behind the closed doors of the office? What if shepherds “smelled like their sheep” and knew and spent time with people? What if the proportion of pastors to people allowed for pastoral care? What if we valued pastoral practice over eloquence and business acumen?
Jesus said shepherds will give an account for their shepherding or non-shepherding of the sheep entrusted to their care. Yet, sadly sometimes churches focus on the brand, building(s), and performance, and not on the church body being shepherded and equipped. But Jesus cared about shepherds shepherding.
A pastor is a “shepherd” or “one who cares for a flock or herd.” That’s why “pastor” sounds like the word “pasture.” The two words are connected. All over scripture, God refers to leaders as shepherds, with God Himself being the ultimate shepherd. When God’s people are not rightly cared for, He is upset. God says, “Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture” (Jer. 23:1-4)! And Ezekiel 34 shows that God takes the failure of His under-shepherds very seriously. He pronounces judgment on them (Ezek. 34:1-10). He promises He Himself will care for them (Ezek. 34:11-31).
God’s word says, “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which He obtained with His own blood” (Acts 20:28). What a high, precious, and important calling! Pastors are to care for what Jesus bought with His very own blood. If it is that important to Jesus, how can it not be important to us?
Paul himself provides a powerful example of pastoral care. Paul visited people to “see how they are doing” (Acts 15:36)[1] and his letters showed his shepherding care. Paul made disciples and cared for disciples. These are complementary callings of church leaders. Paul taught Timothy and Timothy was genuinely concerned about the welfare of the people of the church (Phil. 2:20).
Paul had pastoral concern for God’s people. He wrote “I have you in my heart” (Phil. 1:7) as well as “being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us” (1 Thess. 2:8). Scripture would have us see the importance of ministry both “publicly” and “house to house” (Acts 20:20).
Peter cared about leaders caring for people too. He passed on what he heard from Jesus: “shepherd the flock” (John 21:15-17). Peter relayed the command that leaders are to shepherd the flock of God (1 Peter 5:1). And Peter reminds us of our motivation: When the chief Shepherd appears, He will give the unfading crown of glory (v. 4).
Further, Acts 6:1-7 shows us shepherding must be intentional. We must make plans, delegate, and ensure the practical needs of people in the church are taken care of. Shepherding God’s people must be taken very seriously. King David, before he was king, risked his life for mere sheep (1 Sam. 17:34-36). King Jesus gave His life for His sinful people. He’s the Good Shepherd that lays down His life for the sheep (Jn. 10:11). And His under-shepherds are to lovingly and practically care for those for whom He gave His life (Acts 20:28).
Thus, in summary, King Jesus, the Great and Sovereign Shepherd, laid down His life for the sheep and calls pastors to care for His sheep. Under-shepherds must not spurn what the Over-Shepherd has called them to. If Jesus is the Pastor par excellence then under-shepherds must strive to emulate His loving, relational care.
Notes
[1] John also longed to see his people “face to face.” He was not satisfied with letters. He wanted to visit. Actual pastoral presence matters.
Empowering the Church Body: Beyond the SuperPastor
What if church were different? What if we emphasized the ministry of people instead of a “SuperPastor”? When we say, “I follow Paul,” or, “I follow Apollos,” we are being merely human. What then is Apollos? What is Paul? We are all God’s fellow workers (1 Cor. 3:4-9).
What if we emphasized the ministry of the church body instead of one “professional”? The early church leaders valued the ministry of the church’s people, the ministry of the “non-pastors.” We see this, for example, in all the people Paul greeted in his letters. He knew them and appreciated them. And part of this was valuing the ministry of women. Romans 16 mentions 29 people and 10 of them are women.[1]
Church as event communicates that the special people on the stage are equipped to do the work of the ministry. The people who sit in the audience are simply passive and not gifted to do ministry. That is exactly backward. God has given leaders to equip the saints for the work of the ministry (Eph. 4:12), God has already given the people of the church various gifts (Rom. 12:6-7; 1 Pet. 4:10-11).
Even though Paul was the church planter par excellence, he practiced partnership and co-leadership, which Jesus Himself established (cf. Mark 6:7). Jesus turned the world upside down in part through the hands of 12 ordinary men who had clearly been with Him (Acts 4:13).
Paul followed this same pattern. He was almost always with a colaborer[2] and always desired to be with them. When Paul was separated from his colaborers he said, “Come as soon as possible” (Acts 17:15 cf. 2 Tim. 4:10-12; Titus 3:12-13) and he waited for them (Acts 17:16). Paul mentions his fellow shepherds—Timothy, Titus, Silas, and Barnabas—all over the place.[3] From his first church-sponsored “mission trip” (11:30 cf. Gal. 2:1) to his last (notice “we” in Acts 28) he sought to be with fellow laborers. We also see Paul “appointed elders [pl.] for them in each church” (Acts 14:23; cf. 11:30; 15:2; 20:17-18; 21:18; Titus 1:5), which also establishes the importance of co-leadership.[4]
Pastors are important. Pastors ensure attention is concentrated in the right place—on Christ. No pastor should ever be the focus. Jesus should ever be everyone’s focus. Jesus is central. Everyone else plays a supporting role. But everyone must play their role. The church is a body and Jesus is the head. Every part of the body must be engaged and functioning properly for the body to flourish (1 Cor. 12:27; Eph. 4:16).
The church is the body, and each member is to do their part for the body to function as it is supposed to (1 Cor. 12:4-31). Each member is equipped with gifts from the Spirit (Rom. 12:3-8) and is to employ them for the common good (1 Cor. 12:7). Sadly, but not surprisingly, a Gallup survey found that only 10% of church members in America are active in any kind of personal ministry.[5]
The church is supposed to be the furthest thing from fans sitting in the stands. The church is more like the football team on the field. The church gathers once a week in a huddle to remember and carry out the play. The church works together to hold tight to the gospel and move it forward. Sideline Christianity is not biblical Christianity. Every single Christian—not a special breed of Christian—is to be on the field, whatever that particular field is, loving Jesus and loving others. We all have a part to play, and when we aren’t doing our part gospel movement is hindered.
May pastors stop building fans and equip the saints. And may the saints stop sitting in the stands and get on the field. The war is raging. The time is now.
Notes
[1] The New Testament, in contrast to the literature of the time, knows the inestimable worth of women. Here is the list of the females mentioned: Phoebe (Rom. 16:1-2), Priscilla (Rom. 16:3-5), Mary (Rom. 16:6) Junia (Rom. 16:7), Tryphena, Tryphosa, and Persis (Rom. 16:12), Rufus’ mother (Rom. 16:13), Julia and Nereus’ sister (Rom. 16:15). Women were valuable colaborers in the early church. Here are some other women Paul mentions in his letters: Claudia (2 Tim. 4:21), Priscilla (Acts 18:25; 1 Cor. 16:19; 2 Tim. 4:19), Chloe (1 Cor. 1:11), Nympha (Col. 4:15), and Apphia (Philemon 1:2).
[2] See Acts 11:30; 12:25; 13:2, 13, 42-43, 46; 14:1 [“they”]; 15:2, 25-27; after a disagreement Silas goes with Paul v. 40; 16:3, 25; when he went to Corinth he connected with Aquila and Priscilla 18:1-3; when he went to Antioch he took them with him v. 18; in ch. 19 he found other believers; 20:4-5.
[3] For Timothy see Acts 16:1, 3; 17:14, 15; 18:5; 19:22; 20:4; Rom. 16:21; 1 Cor. 4:17; 16:10; 2 Cor. 1:1, 19; Phil. 1:1; 2:19, 22; Col. 1:1; 1 Thess. 1:1; 3:2, 6; 2 Thess. 1:1; 1 Tim. 1:2, 18; 6:20; 2 Tim. 1:2; Philemon 1; Heb. 13:23. For Titus see 2 Cor. 2:13; 7:6, 13-14; 8:6, 16, 23; 12:18; Gal. 2:1, 3; 2 Tim. 4:10; Titus 1:4. For Silas see Acts 15:22, 27, 32, 40; 16:19, 25, 29; 17:1, 4, 5, 10, 14-15; 18:5; 2 Cor. 1:19; 1 Thess. 1:1; 2 Thess. 1:1; 1 Pet. 5:12. For Barnabas see Acts 9:27; 11:25; 12:25; 13:2; 15:2, 36-41; 1 Cor. 9:6; Gal. 2:1, 13.
[4] Even in Paul’s address to churches, he often includes his colaborers. For instance, 1 Thessalonians 1:1 says, “Paul, Silvanus, and Timothy, To the church…” (cf. 1 Cor. 1:1; 2 Cor. 1:1; Phil. 1:1; Col. 1:1; 2 Thess. 1:1; Philemon 1). Also, from the time of his conversion Paul realized the importance of discipleship since he was taught by Gamaliel (Acts 22:3), Ananias (Acts 9:17), Peter (Gal. 1:17), and heard from Peter about Jesus’ own emphasis on discipleship.
[5] Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Church, 365-66.
Redefining Church: From Building to Body
What if church were different? What if we had a church body instead of a building? Paul says we—the people of the church—are “God’s building” (1 Cor. 3:9). Yet, we have communicated for a long time that “church” occurs on Sunday morning. This has resulted in various negative side effects.[1]
Church attendance has become the standard of faithfulness, if people occasionally give to the church or serve in the church they are a “super Christian.” When the building is communicated to be the church, the building receives the attention, time, and money, instead of the church body. The budgetary considerations of the church building can weigh more heavily on leadership than the personnel, relational, and spiritual needs of the church body.
An example of how this has played out: Instead of Deacons caring for the tangible needs of the church—and the church having a “house to house” (Acts 5:42; 20:20) aspect, where people are known in their daily lives and needs—they have become custodians of the church building and grounds. Deacons equipped and needed to care for the church body, are working on the building. Thus, widows and single mothers are often left to struggle.
The church in America communicates that you can come to the church and receive religious goods and services at a set time. Religious goods and services are mediated through a church building and professional clergy. God is accessed on Sunday. To receive what the church offers one must go to a church building and receive a message from an approved person on the stage.[2]
Churches often, unknowingly, communicate that church is a business, brand, and building; they advertise and sell their religious goods and services.
Look at any church website and what is advertised are worship services for us to enjoy, sermons for us to listen to, youth provision for our children, and perhaps a small group that can provide for other needs. We post pictures of our smart buildings, of our edgy youth work, and of well-designed sermon series; we invest time and money in brilliant branding and a hip visual identity. This all serves to reinforce the idea that our churches exist primarily as events for consumer Christians to attend.[3]
What if we stopped seeing the church as a building and saw it as a body? Jesus and being the church are life, not an event.
The church gathers to encourage one another and remember the good news of Jesus. The church is not the building, the church is not the service, and it’s not an hour and a half on a Sunday. The church gathers, yes. But the church is a body of people, people in relationship. People are the church Sunday through Saturday. The church gathers to remember and scatters to bless. “Church building” is a misnomer.
It’s interesting that many of the biggest revivals utilized different spaces than what has now been deemed church buildings. The Methodist circuit riders grew the Church by riding the circuit and going from house to house. The early church did not have buildings deemed “church,” instead, they knew they as the people were the church 24/7, Saturday through Sunday, not some “professional” pastor, not some slick church with programs that can almost compete with the secular market. But it’s not just an early church thing that can’t work now. Consider the house churches in China. Of course, I am not saying it’s bad for churches to gather in buildings and even buildings that are owned strictly for the purpose of the gathering of the church. But the building is not the body. And the building does not grow the body. The building, however, can be a great distraction from the body.
Chuck Colson shares a story about a pastor in Washington DC. He led the church for years when suddenly, one night, he saw the church clearly for the very first time. “He was flying into Washington one day at dusk. At that time the approach path to Washington’s Reagan National Airport happened to pass directly over Fourth Presbyterian Church.” He “pressed his face against the window to catch a glimpse of the building from the air. But everything on the ground was shrouded in the shadows falling over the city as the sun set.”
He couldn’t see the church. He followed the Potomac River, then from a distance the White House and then the Capitol dome. But, as he stared out the window, he began to think about all the people of the church who worked in those offices and government buildings. Disciples he had equipped to live their faith. Then it hit him. “Of course! There it is!” he exclaimed. The church was there all the time. “The church wasn’t marked by a sanctuary or a steeple. The church was spread throughout Washington, in the homes and neighborhoods and offices below him, thousands of points of light illuminating the darkness.”
“That is the way the church should look in the world today. The people of God—one body with many different parts spread throughout every arena of life, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.”[4] The church is not a building. The church is a body of people shining wherever they work, live, and play. Church, let’s be the body. And let’s not hide in a building. Let’s mix it up in the world, and be the salt Jesus has called us to be.
Notes
[1] “If the local church is understood as a building and not the people of God, then many ecclesiastical problems develop over time” (J. D. Payne, Apostolic Imagination: Recovering a Biblical Vision for the Church’s Mission Today).
[2] The modern American church, in this way, looks a lot like catholicism. People don’t go to church to receive communion, as has historically been the case for Catholics. They go to a church building to “experience God” through a “worship experience” meditated by “professionals” on the stage and the lights dimmed low. There is a special priestly class that does the ministry. The priesthood of all believers is functionally lost because church revolves around the building and church service.
[3] Krish Kandiah, “Church Is a Family, Not an Event.”
[4] Colson and Vaughn, Being the Body, 307-8. “In His earthly ministry, Jesus was limited to one human body; now the Body of Christ is made up of millions and millions of human bodies stamped with His image” (Ibid., 306).
Authentic Church: Moving Beyond Performance
What if church were different? What if we were authentic instead of artificial?
We’ve communicated for decades that church is essentially a performance that you sit down and watch. Is it any wonder so many have decided church is irrelevant? If that’s what church is, it is to a great degree irrelevant. When surveyed, the unchurched gave “There is no value in attending” (74%) as their top reason for abandoning the church.[1] We can get better entertainment at home or half a million concert venues, amusement parks, or sporting arenas. The church can never offer all that the world can, but the church offers something the world can never offer. Have we sold our birthright for a meager porridge?
People long to be real. There’s even a social media platform called “Be Real.” Christians must be real, for real. Distrust in corporations and institutions is very high[2] and most churches have all the markings of a corporation.
What if we did away with the stage and a staged experience? What if instead of curating a culture that looks perfect and happy, we were able to be honest even when we’re struggling? We need a hospital instead of a beauty pageant. We need people to be able to be their sick selves and get better rather than just plastering on a fake face.
Scripture calls us to “bear one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2) and “confess our sins to one another” (James 5:16). If we are to carry out these commands of Scripture, we must have a culture that supports and allows their practice, not that contradicts their practice.
Also, the very structure of the “church service” is often artificial. Going to a “service” where we sit in a chair or pew is disconnected from most other parts of our lives. It is more similar to going to a movie or a theatrical performance and is not integrated with the rest of our lives. Many churches have community groups to provide a real-life Christian experience. Churches see the need for real-life Christian relationships, and a Sunday service doesn’t and can’t provide that. It is, however, much more convenient to just “get fed” at church and not bother with being the church, so often people opt out of authentic community.
Christians are to shine as lights in the world but that doesn’t mean they have to be “shiny happy people.” The word hypocrite comes to us from Greek and means to “pretend” or “play a part” as in a theatrical performance. Christians, however, have no need for a mask. As Christians, we know we are all simultaneously saints, sinners, and sufferers. That’s the reality. But many “church services” don’t take those simultaneous statuses into account. The biblical worldview communicates that there is a time for sorrow and a time for rejoicing (Ecc. 3:4; 2 Cor. 6:10). There is a time to lament and a time to dance and praise. But we often lack that breadth of expression. Yet, how can we bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2) if we shy away from the fact that we have burdens?
Jesus often hungout with the lower-class rabble and rebel rouses. Modern American Christianity often communicates that cookie-cutter, middle class is the ideal. Can we expect people in the church to be real, honest, and seek help with their challenges when the church service presents a squeaky clean picture of what it means to follow Jesus? Again, if “the medium is the message,” the message is Christians live super happy, put-together lives. Is it any wonder those who are suffering or struggling don’t want to share, or “go” to a church where perfection is televised from the stage?
Notes
[1] See James Emery White’s book, Meet Generation Z, 84 where he references research done by the Barna Group for his previous book Rethinking the Church. It should be noted that this data is old as that book came out in 1997.
[2] Office of the Surgeon General, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community, 13.
Reviving Church Connection: From Handshakes to Heartfelt Relationships
What if church were different? What if we had deep instead of surface relationships?
Relationships have always been important because we are relational beings made in the image of the relational triune God. Yet, sadly, people are more relationally disconnected than ever—honestly, likely more relationally disconnected than at any other point in history.
Various studies bear out the problems of our epidemic of loneliness and isolation. “All Americans (both young adults and older adults) have fewer social relationships than their parents and grandparents did.”[1] Yet, Vivek H. Murthy, the United States Surgeon General, has said, “People with strong social relationships are 50 percent less likely to die prematurely than people with weak social relationships… weak social connections can be a significant danger to our health.”
A study by the Surgeon General’s Advisory team, titled “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” found that loneliness is prevalent today and surprisingly harmful. It is “associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.”[3]
Murthy points out that “Social connection stands out as a largely unrecognized and underappreciated force for addressing many of the critical problems we’re dealing with, both as individuals and as a society. Overcoming loneliness and building a more connected future is an urgent mission that we can and must tackle together.”[4] This is an opportunity and exhortation to the Church.
Relationships are important. As the Cheers theme song says:
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.
Relationship, strangely, is something that the church seems to have forgotten about. It’s something, however, that Starbucks and Alcoholics Anonymous have picked up on.
The thing that kept me sober until I got a grip on honesty was the love in the room of Alcoholics Anonymous. I made some friends for the first time in my life. Real friends that cared, even when I was broke and feeling desperate.
The body of Christ should be more affectionate and welcoming than any A.A. meeting or coffee shop.[5]
Secular research tells us we need each other. Experience tells us we need each other. The Bible tells us we need each other. We need each other![6] The secular world in many ways has seen this and the Bible has long since told us. It reminds us that a cord of three strands is not easily broken (Eccl. 4:12). We need the body of Christ to be the body of Christ. We need vital connection, not mere contact.
Many “one another” passages can only be carried out in small familiar settings. A small, simple church allows the benefit of practicing all the various aspects of life together. It gives us a setting to honor one another (Rom. 12:10), accept one another (Rom. 15:7), bear with one another (Eph. 4:2; Col. 3:13), forgive one another (Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13), pray for and confess sins to one another (James 5:16), cheer and challenge one another (Heb. 3:13; 10:24-25), admonish and confront one another (Rom. 15:14; Col. 3:16; Gal. 6:1-6), warn one another (1 Thess. 5:14), teach one another (Col. 3:16), be real and honest with one another (Gal. 5:15; Rom. 12:9), bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), share possessions with one another (Acts 4:32; Gal. 6:10), and submit to one another (Eph. 5:21).[7]
We need actual relationships instead of handshakes. It is vital and commanded that Christians practice the “one another” passages. Perseverance is a community endeavor. It is imperative for people’s health and the health of the church that people are connected, vitally connected, not merely attending. “Going to church” is not biblical, being the church is.
In order to cultivate deep relationships, what if we had real food and fellowship instead of a handshake? Churches often have a time where you shake people’s hands and say, “Hi.” But, week after week, it becomes an empty expression when nothing more results. Empty platitudes are empty. What if we go to the early church model, and have a meal together every week (Acts 2:46; 20:11; 1 Cor. 11:20-34; Jude 12)?[8]
What if the church leaned into loving relationships and invested time and money to help relationships form? “The church may never outperform TV shows and music videos, but there is nothing like the community life of the church. There is nowhere else where diverse people come together in the same way. There is nowhere else where broken people find a home. There is nowhere else where grace is experienced and God is present by his Spirit.”[9]
What if we practiced hospitality instead of hiding? One of the qualifications for pastors is that they “be hospitable” (1 Tim. 3:2). Pastors were known and knew people, they didn’t hide. And they set the expectations for the rest of the church body. “Some theologians go so far as to state that the growth in the earliest churches was wholly dependent on the meals and hospitality of the believers.”[10] It is imperative for the church’s witness and health that we move from handshakes to heartfelt relationships.
Notes
[1] Allen, Lawton, and Seibel, Intergenerational Christian Formation, 54.
[2] Murthy, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, 13. “Religious communities offer not only social support but also purpose, hope, and meaning” and it has been found that religious community is more beneficial for preventing suicide and mortality than other forms of social support (Tyler J. VanderWeele, “Deaths of Despair and the Role of Religion”).
[3] Office of the Surgeon General, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community, 4. “The lack of social connection poses a significant risk for individual health and longevity. Loneliness and social isolation increase the risk for premature death by 26% and 29% respectively. More broadly, lacking social connection can increase the risk for premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.* In addition, poor or insufficient social connection is associated with increased risk of disease, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke. Furthermore, it is associated with increased risk for anxiety, depression, and dementia. Additionally, the lack of social connection may increase susceptibility to viruses and respiratory illness” (Ibid., 8).
[4] Murthy, Together, xxvi.
[5] In passages like Philippians 2:25-26 and 1 Thessalonians 3:6-13, we read about the authentic relationships of the church and the concern that the church had for one another. Paul says that Epaphroditus has been longing for the Philippian church, and the Philippian church was distressed because they heard he was sick. They had the opposite of social isolation, they had social affirmation; instead of loneliness, they had a family of love.
[6] “While relationships with others are something we do, it is also true that relationships are what we are. We are what our history of relationships has built into us. We need social relationships like the body needs oxygen, but also like stone needs a sculptor to become a work of art (good or bad). We cannot become healthy adult persons without relationships. To flourish and to mature into persons of wisdom and Christian virtue, we need the shaping that comes with the best sorts of human relationships… Whatever we become or are becoming is a matter of both us and others – our actions and others’ responses, and our responses to others’ actions” (Brown, Warren S.; Strawn, Brad D., The Physical Nature of Christian Life (Cambridge University Press: Kindle Edition, 2012), 72-73).
[7] Also, remember, the book of Hebrews says to consider, that is, think about how to stir, spur, or motivate one another toward love and good works (Heb. 10:24). A “spur” is “a pointed device or sharp spiked wheel fixed to the heel of a rider’s boot to enable him to urge his horse on.” We are supposed to serve as a spur in one another’s lives. We are to be a goad. We are to incite action. We are to be a stimulus for change. We are to give incentive, inducement, and provocation. We are supposed to provoke, stimulate, impel, and inspire each other. This happens best in small relational settings where people are actually known. Most churches realize that “transformation happens best in community,” if that’s the case, why not capitalize on community contexts‽ Romans 14:19 says “Let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” Scripture exhorts us to intentionally pursue mutual upbuilding. Paul tells Timothy to “flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart” (2 Tim. 2:22). Is Timothy supposed to do this all by himself? No! It says “Along with those…” From the above verses, and many we did not look at, we see the practical, life-protecting, importance of being connected to Christ’s body in an intentional community.
[8] This was known as a “love feast.”
[9] Tim Chester and Steve Timmis, Everyday Church: Gospel Communities on Mission, 56.
[10] Verlon Fosner, Dinner Church, 24. “If you are looking for ways to evangelize, opening your home is one of the best methods of reaching unbelievers” (Alexander Strauch, Leading with Love, 102.
Why Simplicity is Key to Church Growth
What if church were different? What if we were simple instead of complex?
One of the problems with what has become the “traditional church model” in America is its complexity. It’s difficult to quickly replicate because there’s so much involved—typically a building, band, “professional” clergy, and all sorts of programming. This is not the model in many contexts overseas, nor has it been the lone model throughout church history. The early church required simplicity. “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42). That’s simple but transformative and powerful, it’s also very replaceable. The early church, as simple as it was, grew. “The Lord added to their number day by day those who we being saved” (Acts 2:47). The early church is not the lone example of this happening. It happens across history and across the globe.
There are some 485,000 churches in the United States and the vast majority remain under eighty per congregation.[1] What if we leaned into the strength of small simple churches? What if we found the easiest size to manage, grow, and host, and keep replicating around that size? Wouldn’t that model save money, necessarily engage the church in constant discipleship, and wouldn’t the church function as a body, using their gifts and practicing the one another passages?[2]
Jeff Christopherson has said, “The spiritual movement required to transform secular nations with the gospel is unlikely to emerge from complex structures that are usually associated with church. Something simpler, leaner, and far easier to reproduce is required to experience a gospel-saturating movement.”[3]
What if we lowered the bar for what is required for church—no building or paid professional clergy necessary—and raised the bar in our expectation for disciples of Jesus? That might just be means to a movement and be closer to what we see in the New Testament and in various contexts overseas.
To replicate and reach America and the nations, simplicity is essential. Simplicity allows for speed and better stewardship of our resources. Simplicity also allows the Church to get more of the priesthood of believers involved in ministry. Simplicity requires us to rely on the Spirit and all He has given us. Simplicity also holds Jesus before people without any distractions.
We started a simple micro church because we need Jesus and each other but we do not need all the other stuff. In fact, we believe some of the “extra stuff” can be a distraction and diversion from Jesus’ call to sacrificial discipleship. Church is not about coffee and convenience, it’s about worshiping Jesus and being shaped into His image. We also believe in replicating micro churches, we always want to be about the mission Jesus has given us; we don’t want to be a mere “holy huddle.” The “huddle” happens so we can better love the world that needs Jesus’ love.
Micro church is an intentionally simple approach to church that’s often small and informal in style. There are, however, certain requirements a micro church must meet to be a biblically faithful church (e.g., qualified leadership and teaching, preaching the good news of Jesus, regular singing and reading of God’s word, celebrations of baptism and communion, discipleship and purity, and sharing the good news of Jesus and loving the world).
We are working to build multiplying micros instead of a mega church. But as we know from microbiology, microbes can grow, and grow fast. If conditions are right (like ample nutrients and correct temperature), a single cell will quickly split into two identical cells. This rapid replication is due to their simple genetic structure with only one chromosome. Simple DNA allows for quick multiplication. This is true in the church too, simplicity facilitates discipleship and replication.
Notes
[1] Hirsch, The Forgotten Ways, 215.
[2] There are many “one another” passages: honor one another (Rom. 12:20), accept one another (Rom. 15:7), bear with one another (Eph. 4:2; Col. 3:13), forgive one another (Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13), pray for and confess sins to one another (James 5:16), cheer and challenge one another (Heb. 3:13; 10:24-25), admonish and confront one another (Rom. 15:14; Col. 3:16; Gal. 6:1-6), warn one another (1 Thess. 5:14), teach one another (Col. 3:16), be real and honest with one another (Gal. 5:15; Rom. 12:9), bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), share possessions with one another (Acts 4:32), and submit to one another (Eph. 5:21).
What if we were Colaborers instead of Competitors?
What if church were diffrent? What if we were colaborers instead of competitors?
The reality is that Christians are not competitors; they are brothers and sisters in Christ. Jesus’ Kingdom is not divided. Although Jesus’ Kingdom is made up of people from Sierra and Senegal, Armenia and America, China and Chad, Portugal and Pakistan, Mexico and Malaysia (and many, many more), in Christ, we are all one.
We may not always feel like we’re together or unified; we may not always want to be together, but the reality is that we are. We are united and one in Christ Jesus (Eph. 4:4-7). Believers in Africa and America, Iraq and Iran, Canada and Cambodia, all have the one Spirit in them. Although we look, act, and think differently, we all have this in common: We are temples of the living God. More significant than our culture and country is that God lives in believers.
All Christians have one Spirit and one Lord (Ephesians 4:5). This verse reminds me of marching in the army. As we marched together in a company of 200 soldiers, there was no distinction. No matter who you were or where you were from, there was no distinction. When our commander said, “Left,” we put our left foot down. When he said, “Right,” we put our right foot down.
We were very different, but we all had the same commander, so there was no distinction. It is the same for Christians, we all have “one Lord.” And we all march the same, to Jesus’ command.
Yet, “By nature, a consumer mentality creates a competitive market environment where each producer of goods and services tries to outdo the others. So churches end up competing for ‘customers,’ and the mutual cooperation of the Body is destroyed. That means we lose our unity—which is, in fact, our greatest, driving evangelistic witness that Jesus is who He claimed to be.”[1]
As comrades, we should not be competitors. Is Jesus’ Kingdom divided against itself? As Jesus said, “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand” (Matt. 12:25). We must work against being competitors and consumers, we are, rather, Christ-followers, together marching to the beat of our Master’s drum.
Jesus prayed that we would be one as He and the Father are one (Jn. 17:21), and He said that people will know that we are His disciples by our love for one another (Jn. 13:35). So, what message does it send when we value “our” building and brand over Jesus’ Kingdom? What message does it send when we single-handedly contradict Jesus’ prayer?
What if we were sold out for the Kingdom instead of the brand? Of course, we never outright say we put the church brand over the Kingdom, but it is nevertheless communicated in our particular structure and forms. Let’s be team Jesus, not team name-brand church.
The New Testament letters repeatedly model Kingdom collaboration. We see this in Paul’s appeals for support. Paul had many colaborers in the gospel. The Philippians, for example, partnered with Paul in gospel ministry (Phil. 4:15-17). The Kingdom is about Jesus the King, and all His people made up of every tribe, language, nation, and tongue. The Kingdom thus demands collaboration, not competition. There is no name brand, only the name of Jesus for whom every knee will bow.
Notes
What if we were Intergenerational instead of Isolating?
What if church were different? What if we were intergenerational instead of isolating? What if older Christians could build up younger ones, and what if younger ones could bless older ones? One of the major problems in American Christianity is we are not passing on our faith to our kids. In fact, a recent study has estimated that over 40 million young people who were raised in Christian homes could walk away from a life with Jesus by 2050. One of the answers to this problem is for Christians of different generations to be together.
Many churches isolate the generations from one another. Kids are siloed from seniors and young adults are isolated from older adults. This is problematic for several reasons. For one, Scripture presumes that Christian formation occurs within intergenerational, familial, and community settings[1] (e.g., Deut. 6:4-9; 11:19; 32:46-47; Ps. 78:6; Prov. 22:6; Eph. 6:4).
Second, intentionally mixing the generations in a church uniquely nurtures faith formation for all ages.[2] It “creates opportunities for adults, youth, and children to build relationships across the age spectrum, to share each other’s spiritual journeys, and to learn from and encourage those ahead of us on the journey as well as those coming along behind.”[3] Mixing in this way stimulates “healthy spiritual growth and development across the generations.”[4]
At the Gathering, where I pastor, we have childcare for kids ages 1 to 6 during the teaching time but we love to have kids involved! We believe families, singles, retirees, under-employed, and over-employed all journeying together to pursue Jesus is the ideal. Seeing each other authentically loving Jesus through the thick and thin of life blesses the whole church. We learn from each other and grow to understand and love each other more. We do have childcare for young kids as a service to parents, but we care about kids learning and seeing the whole church body love Jesus.
Yesterday at the church gathering, we sang the old powerful song by Keith Green, “There Is A Redeemer.” I was standing by the young kids and it was beautiful. A young black boy swung his little fox stuffed animal around while belting out “Thank you, oh my Father for giving us Your Son…” There was a little brunette boy coloring and singing and a little blonde girl with fake fish on her fingers, not singing, but wearing the biggest grin.
Let’s not fumble the handoff. Let’s live genuine lives of love as we wholeheartedly follow Jesus. Let’s worship Jesus and ensure they see us worship Jesus. And let’s have fun with them as we do so. This, I believe, is especially important when there are so many single-parent families. The biological mom or dad may not be around, but the church has moms and dads aplenty. The church may not be able to literally replace a parent but it can provide faithful familiar mentors. The church is a family, let’s be the intergenerational family God has called us to be.
The need for intentional, costly discipleship for children and youth from an early age has never been greater. New cultural pressures continue to widen the gap between daily American life and biblically reinforced orthodoxy and orthopraxy. Long gone are the days when Christians represented 80-90 percent of mainstream culture… Across many different research projects, studies have found that the most important driver of retention is actually pretty simple: actively engaging youth into a full life with Jesus in their family and church. It turns out that being in a family and church that talks with Jesus— where they actively evangelize, serve together, know other adults that take their faith seriously, and live the Gospel and not sin management— will more often than not produce young people who want to continue on in a life with God.[5]
Notes
[1] Holly Catterton Allen, Christine Lawton, and Cory L. Seibel, Intergenerational Christian Formation: Bringing the Whole Church Together in Ministry, Community, and Worship, 65.
[2] Allen, Lawton, and Seibel, Intergenerational Christian Formation: Bringing the Whole Church Together in Ministry, Community, and Worship, 143.
[3] Ibid., 22.
[4] Ibid., 95.
[5] “The Great Opportunity,” 59.
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