My Proposal for the American Church
In the past, I have shared some of my concerns for the American church. Here, however, I propose some positive changes that will have lasting beneficial impacts. We need to create social structures, contexts, and cultures that form:
Deep Relationships
We must move beyond surface-level interactions to genuine, heartfelt connections where members know and care for one another. We must practice the “one another” passages of Scripture. I believe we should make it increasingly difficult for people to avoid relationships. I think we should purposely move away from online church.
Intergenerational Community
Move away from siloes. The Bible talks about the importance of older people teaching younger people. We must purposely integrate people of all ages to foster mutual learning, encouragement, and faith formation. Older Christians can mentor younger ones, while younger members bring fresh perspectives and energy.
Shared Meals and Fellowship
We must work against isolation and regularly gather for meals to cultivate hospitality, build relationships, and create a sense of family. This practice mirrors the practice of the early church, and people are hungry for it (pun intended).
Relational and Everybody Evangelism
All Christians have a missional mandate, not just pastors. Every Jesus follower must be equipped to live out their faith in the places they work, live, and play, being salt and light in the world. So, church leaders should help those in their sphere of influence share the gospel through authentic relationships rather than relying on an invitation to church or church programs.
Hospitality
We must develop both open homes and hearts to welcome others, creating a culture of generosity and inclusion. Hospitality must not be seen as something that happens through a team in a church building on Sunday, but through the church body every day of the week, all over the place. Hospitality is a vital expression of Christian love and a powerful evangelistic tool.
Mutual Ministry
Every member of Jesus’ body must be equipped to use the spiritual gifts God has already given them for the common good, rather than relying on a “superpastor” or professional clergy. This reflects the biblical concept of the priesthood of all believers. Leaders must, as Ephesians 4 says, “equip the saints for the work of the ministry,” not just perch themselves on a stage like a special professional.
Body-Centric Instead of Building-Centric
“Church” is the called-out people of God. Church is not a building; it is a body. The church gathers to be built up, and it scatters to bless the broken world. Church is not an event. Church is not something we go to. Church is something the people of God are. We must change our language and practice of seeing church as a building and a mere event.
Authenticity Over Artificiality
We must be real for real. We must be honest about our struggles and joys and avoid curated or staged experiences. The church should be a “hospital” for the broken, not a “beauty pageant.” We must love as we have been loved—real, deep, incarnational.
Unity and Collaboration
The reality is there is one body and one Spirit, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all (Eph. 4:4-6). So, as Christians, we should not compete with other Christians. Instead, we should foster unity in the church and across churches because the reality is that there is only one universal Church with Christ Jesus the Great Shepherd as our head. To Him we will all give an account. Thus, churches and church leaders must focus on Kingdom growth rather than competition.
Conclusion
There are definitely some valid concerns about the American church (see e.g., here and here). As Christian Smith found in his extensive study, essentially “the vibes are off” in the modern American church.[1] More pizzazz is not the solution, and neither is mega church. Instead, I propose we get back to the simple center. We don’t need more entertainment and attractions. We need deep discipleship and the structures, contexts, and cultures that help discipleship flourish, not contradict it.
Notes
[1] Christian Smith, Why Religion Went Obsolete, 338. “The issues, rather, thrash around the semiconscious subjectivities of young people who rove about their lives with fine-tuned antennae sensing whether or not things give off the right ‘vibe.’ Does it ‘resonate?’ Does it give off ‘good energy?’ Life in this dimension is sorted out in realms of tacit, intuitive, instinctive knowledge and response–always informed by the background zeitgeist. Cultural mismatch meant that, for most younger Americans, traditional religion did not resonate, so they discarded it” (Smith, Why Religion Went Obsolete, 64).
Photo by Karl Fredrickson
Insights & Quotes from Peter Scazzero’s book, Emotionally Healthy Discipleship
Peter Scazzero’s book, Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, gives some important correctives to the modern church’s approach to discipleship. Sadly, many churches tolerate immaturity and emphasize “doing” over “being,” and mistakeactivity for spiritual maturity. This leads to an undercurrent of sin and unaddressed hurts under the surface. Everything may look good, but at the smallest pin prick and behind closed doors, the ugly reality shows.
The book contrasts the “shallow” traditional model, which focuses on attendance and service within the church building, in contrast to the “transformative” model, which focuses on deep, long-term heart change. For us to have in-depth discipleship, Scazzero says we must do at least four things:
- We must emphasize being with God over doing for God.
- We must not tolerate emotional immaturity.
- We must not ignore the treasures of church history.
- We must not define success wrongly.
The book also helpfully gives seven marks of healthy discipleship:
- Be Before You Do
- Follow the Crucified—not the “Americanized”—Jesus
- Embrace God’s Gift of Limits
- Discover the Treasures Hidden in Grief and Loss
- Make Love the Measure of Spiritual Maturity
- Break the Power of the Past
- Lead Out of Weakness and Vulnerability
The illustration that stuck with me the most is Scazzero’s reference to Oliver Sacks’ book, The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat. It tells of a 60-year-old woman who was born with cerebral palsy. She never used her hands for any functional purpose because she was literally spoon-fed and waited on hand and foot. She learned helplessness. She lived as if she had no hands.
However, when Dr. Sacks saw her, he eventually left food just out of reach, which forced her to use her hands. This led to her not only gaining the use of her hands but also discovering a talent for sculpting. She eventually became locally famous for her sculptures.
This is a disturbingly similar dynamic at work in our churches. Too many people are spoon fed and babied. Tragically, many churches are disabling people spiritually. Each and every Christian is gifted and empowered by the Spirit, but is too often crippled by pastors who do the ministry instead of equipping the saints for the work of the ministry (Eph. 4:12).
Also, too often, ministry is seen as happening inside the four walls of the church building. So, if people are equipped for ministry, it’s ministry connected to the institution of the church—ministry like childcare, security, greeting, and leading a Bible study. One of the concerns here is that even the equipping the church does essentially takes people away from being the light of the world they are called to be, and shuts them up in a church building. Instead of the church making disciples, it makes props within the business of the Sunday service.
Here are some quotes I found helpful:
An emotionally healthy disciple refers to a person who rejects busyness and hurry in order to reorient their entire life around their personal relationship with Jesus, developing rhythms, setting limits, and following him wherever he leads. At the same time, they intentionally open the depths of their interior life—their history, their disorientations, their areas of brokeness, and their relationships—to be changed by Jesus. And they are deeply aware how everything they have and all they are is a gift. So they carry a profound awareness of stewarding their talents as a gift to bless the world for Jesus.
God came to earth, not in a flashy show of signs and wonders, but as an infant born into poverty and obscurity. After living as a refugee in Egypt, he returned to grow up in Nazereth, a backwoods town a long way from the big city. He waited thirty hears to begin any public ministry, and even then, refused to do miracles on demand on overwhelm people with his brilliant intellect. His ministry was small and almost invisible by the world’s standards.
Do not be in a rush. We didn’t get into the problem of shallow discipleship overnight. And neither will we solve the problem overnight.
When we define success wrongly, it means our best energies will be invested in things such as cutting-edge weekend services, cultivating our brand, and preparing captivating messages. Little is left over for discipleship our own or that of others especially when it produces what appears to be such a small and slow return.
With the little time left to invest in the messy work of discipleship, we do the next best thing. We standardize discipleship and make it scalable. Our approach resembles more of a conveyor belt in a manufacturing plant than the kind of relational discipleship Jesus modeled for us. We like standardization. Jesus preferred customization.
Work for God that is not nourished by a deep interior life with God will eventually deteriorate-and us with it. Over timeour sense of worth and validation gradually shifts from a grounding in God’s love to the success or failure of our ministry work and performance. And that’s when the peace, the clarity, and the spaciousness of our life with Christ slowly, almost imperceptibly, disappears.
Much of discipleship in the church today is the spiritual equivalent of cladding… On the surface, everything looks like the real thing. Our people are upbeat and optimistic, filled with faith that Jesus will get them through crises and valleys. They are uplifted spiritually through moving worship experiences and dazzling messages… And yet, their transformation in Christ remains at the level of cladding, a thin veneer on a life that has yet to be touched beneath the surface.
Normally, our goal is to build a church in which people attend worship services, participate in small groups, invest financially, and serve. We assume that active participation in these activities means people are maturing in a vital, personal relationship of loving union with Jesus.
We assume wrongly. It does not.
In fact, I marvel at how many excellent communicators lead as if discipleship takes place primarily through sermons. That is like going to the nursery, spraying the babies with milk, and walking away claiming we fed them.
I am a servant of Jesus and His movement, not a business guru.
If you look at Jesus’ life and how He lived, what do you see? If you catalogue His life, you’ll see He wasn’t locked up in His study preparing His next killer sermon series. He was living with the leadership team. He was training to change the world. He wasn’t sitting back directing the pawns from an executive office with a board of executive pastors. He was walking and talking with riffraff and wayfarers, and multiplying Himself into a handful of people to change the world.
It’s not the method we would have chosen. Sadly, it’s not the method we choose. But it’s what Jesus did. We choose large, flashy, in charge, make big happen.
But what if our methods don’t bring the transformation Jesus is actually looking for? What if Jesus strategically did what He did? What if when He said, “Follow Me,” He meant it? What if we are supposed to follow Jesus and not businessmen and their boardroom leadership? What if when we start with a business, we end with a business?[1]
One author tells about a church that hired a new executive pastor who had “precisely zero experience as a pastor.” He did, however, have a lot of experience in the business world. The pastors on staff who had experience pastoring in flourishing churches were now told what to do, and what not to do, by this new executive pastor.
This executive pastor served as a kind of go-between, or mediator, between the regular church staff and the lead pastor. And he managed people’s schedules to the effect that he put an end to a mini time of worship at the beginning of the day that some of the pastors were having. One of the pastors asked, “If we’re getting our jobs done, what does it matter to you how we start our days?” The executive pastor answered, “Because this is the office. The office is for business, and it’s my job to maintain that.”[2]
This specific account, it is true, recounts one church’s story; but in my experience as a pastor and in conversation with other pastors, I believe similar stories are repeated often. The business of the church has become business.
What if we have had it wrong for a long time? What if leadership is about service? And what if that service is not for our organization? What if it is about something that Jesus owns and something He is doing? What if it’s not about our name or the name brand of our church?[3]
I love Jesus and Jesus’ church, but I don’t love human, name-brand, church. When church is about a name—whether the name brand of the church or pastor—and not about the name above every name for whom every being will bow, I don’t love that. Idolatry has no place in Jesus’ church.
I am a servant of Jesus and His movement, not a business guru. What then about my name and reputation? What then about buildings and church brands? Only that in every way, Christ is proclaimed. In that I rejoice.[4] Yes, let me and every Christian leader be considered a fool for Christ’s sake![5]
It’s not about logos, brands, buildings, gifted preachers, leaders, or an amazing experience of worship; it’s about King Jesus, knowing Him and making Him known. We so quickly turn from our Savior and the Shepherd of our souls to lesser shepherds. We forget the Kingdom, and get wrapped up in our little kingdoms.
May my name and names without number fall, and may all our voices rise in praise of Messiah Jesus, the name above every name. May His Church grow, and be big in our affections, and may our myopic vision perish as we see His wonder and glory.
Notes
[1] Of course, I’m not saying no structure. Jesus had structure, and the New Testament provides structure, though it’s not the Jethro model.
[2] Lance Ford et al., The Starfish and the Spirit: Unleashing the Leadership Potential of Churches and Organizations (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2021).
[3] “Never desire special praise or love, for that belongs to God alone Who has no equal. Never wish that anyone’s affection be centered in you, nor let yourself be taken up with the love of anyone” (Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ, 50).
[4] See Philippians 1:18.
[5] See 1 Corinthians 4:9ff.
The Problem and Prevalence of Narcissism in the Church
The problem of selfishness and self-aggrandizement has always been a problem. Now, however, social media[1] and church structures add to the prevalence of the problem. In fact, self-aggrandizement is often incentivized. In great contrast to Jesus, “Ministry leaders and churches today are obsessively preoccupied with their reputation, influence, success, rightness, progressiveness, relevance, platform, affirmation, and power.”[2]
Christian leaders are often selected based on their charisma and ability to attract a large following.[3] A narcissistic personality can easily be interpreted as pastoral giftedness, a personality well-suited to lead a large church.[4] A narcissistic person is set up well to succeed in today’s church. They can charm, seem superior, and come off as an all-around exceptional person. “They have an almost desperate need to be seen.”[5] This bodes well for churches saturated in social media.
Paul David Tripp gives an important warning in his book, Lead: 12 Gospel Principles for Leadership in the Church:
A leader whose heart has been captured by other things doesn’t forsake ministry to pursue those other things; he uses ministry position, power, authority, and trust to get those things. Every leadership community needs to understand that ministry can be the vehicle for pursuing a whole host of idolatries.
Sadly, the structures we build in the church can foster narcissism’s unchecked growth. It’s problematic when Jesus’ character is not the measurement of success. Instead, the narcissistic profile of grandiosity, entitlement, and absence of empathy becomes the pattern of a good leader. Is it any wonder we have so many pastoral problems and people deconstructing?
Ministry growth, fame, and money are often seen as proof of God’s presence and work. But if that’s true, then Jesus Himself was a failure. He gave up power and riches. He didn’t pursue them. God’s presence isn’t found in power and fame. And His blessing isn’t necessarily found there either. What we should look for in leaders is godly character and fruit—like the fruits of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.[6]
The abandonment of the humble way of Jesus is not the way to please Jesus. Philippians 2:5-8 says,
Have this mind among yourselves that is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
It would probably be good here to share a modern paraphrase of all of Matthew 23, but instead, I will share just verses 11-12: “The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” Or, here’s John 13:14-15: “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.”
Selfishness and self-aggrandizement are not the way of the Savior. And should not be the way of His church or under-shepherds. Success should be measured by our likeness to Jesus and in our ability to make disciples like Jesus who, in turn, make other disciples like Jesus. In general, across the board, studies bear out bad results about churches making disciples.[7]
In a narcissistic ministry, however, the leader is especially geared towards making acolytes of themselves rather than disciples of Jesus. The leaders may not realize it, but real-life, gritty, and sacrificial discipleship may not even be on the ministerial map. Instead of equipping the saints for the work of the ministry, it’s easy to create a whole host of fans who cheer from the sidelines.
Some Characteristics of a Narcissistic Ministry
First, “The narcissistic system parades its specialness… Who would dare question God’s work?”[8] And, because the mission is so special, certain staff members are asked to make large sacrifices with little or no remuneration. The special work that the ministry is doing is reason to give and serve sacrificially.[9]
Second, “The system often compares itself to others and finds others wanting.”[10] People are led to believe “the church down the block isn’t as blessed, special, or faithful. A collective sense of grandiosity is common in these situations.”[11] This belittles Jesus’ Kingdom and is counteractive to the unity for which Jesus prayed, died, and will finally obtain. It can also blind the church from the log in its eye when they are critical of the speck in a different ministry (Matt. 7:3-5).
Third, because the church is doing such “amazing work,” you can’t question it. It’s seen as obviously bad to question the vine when the fruit seems to speak for itself.
Loyalty to Christ and loyalty to the founding pastor’s vision can get muddled. This is especially true if the pastor says that his own vision is Christ’s—that God directly told him what the church should do next regarding its building, outreach, or finances. Elders or lay leaders who question those decisions are setting themselves up to question God. And who wants to look like they’re questioning God? Especially when following the pastor’s/God’s vision has led to enormous growth, souls saved, lives changed, and communities transformed, and when other churches are looking to your church as the ultimate success story.[12]
It is therefore easy for those who are drawn into the gravitational pull of narcissism to enable the narcissist by letting him off the hook for his behavior.[13] After all, they’re doing so much for the church.[14] And, as Andy Crouch says in Playing God, “One of power’s invisible perquisites is that others grant you deference without your having to ask for it.”
Sadly, those who don’t toe the line and “refuse to idealize the leader are chewed up and spit out.”[15] This is obviously dangerous for all sorts of reasons. For one, feedback is not given, or at least, not honestly.[16] Individuals tend to favor the most favorable interpretation, disregarding potential inconsistencies and downplaying minor relational transgressions. They conveniently dismiss reservations about the leader. That “is why many who get close to the epicenter of leadership either forfeit their integrity or resign.”[17]
Mark Driscoll, the former pastor of Mars Hill Church, infamously said, “There is a pile of dead bodies behind the Mars Hill bus, and by the grace of God it will be a mountain by the time we’re done. You either get on the bus or you get run over by the bus, those are the two options, but the bus ain’t stopping.” The person driving the bus, however, is Mark Driscoll himself, and it is his mission and his brand that have become central, and people must serve his agenda or be fired.
The LORD, the Good Shepherd, will not stand for such abuse of His blood-bought sheep. “Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will require my sheep at their hand” (Ezek. 34:10). He says, “Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep” (Jer. 23:1). Again He says, “Wail, you shepherds, and cry out… No refuge will remain for the shepherds” (Jer. 25:34, 35).
Faithful pastors won’t stand for the mistreatment of sheep or fellow pastors. Instead, they, like the Good Shepherd, will willingly lay their job, title, and life down for the good of the sheep (Jn. 10:11-18). Faithful pastors will stand their ground and guard the sheep, come what may.
Fourth, narcissistic leaders might bring church growth, but not all growth is healthy. Cancer can cause quick growth. So, anxious churches driven by narcissistic pastors may grow numerically, but healthy churches flourish. We should not mistake numerical growth for flourishing.[18] Especially when Jesus has called us to make disciples, and not fans who sit on chairs.
Fifth, and we have already touched on this, but it’s important to make it explicit: there is a lot of incentive for the narcissistic pastor and ministry to conceal the narcissism. People might say, “he has a few rough edges,” “we all make mistakes,” or “she’s just passionate.” For all of these reasons, “for those hurt by a narcissistic pastor, the pathways to justice may be few.”[19] People believe the gifted pastor over and above anyone else.
A Few of the Problems with Narcissism
The problem with narcissism in the church is that narcissism has no place in the church, or at least, unrepentant narcissism. I realize we’re all in process. And yes, there should be an appropriate self-love. To that I agree. But unrestrained and uncontained narcissism is not in alignment with the Lord Jesus, who came as a servant.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.
Narcissistic pastors, knowing what they know about the christian ethic, must walk the fine line between supposed omnipotence and feigned humility. “He wants you to see that he is the best and brightest, but he wants you to think he is a humble servant of the Lord. He speaks of justice, of faithfulness, of humility, but he longs to be the center of attention, where his need to be special is affirmed.”[20]
From a biblical perspective, narcissism stems from pride, which Scripture identifies as sin. Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble” (James 4:6). Scripture warns that where there is pride, there will be destruction (Prov. 11:2; 16:18).
Narcissists also struggle with empathy because of their self-centeredness, which directly contradicts the Bible. Scripture commands believers to “look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Phil. 2:4), a directive narcissists routinely disobey. Christians are called to esteem others more highly than themselves and to serve others in love—the exact opposite of narcissistic behavior.[21]
Two characteristics of narcissism are jealousy and selfish ambition, these the letter of James says, are earthly, natural, and demonic, and thus are clearly not in alignment with followers of Jesus. It’s also very problematic because where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing (James 3:14-16). As many stories demonstrate (Mark Driscoll, James MacDonald, Ravi Zacharias, etc.). In contrast, “the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere” (v. 17). Note that last part, wisdom from above is “always sincere.”
The Christian leader’s job is not to put on a show, especially a show featuring themselves; it is to equip the saints for the work of the ministry. It’s not to attract a crowd, build a big modern church, or build their ministry; no, it’s to equip others for ministry. The narcissist is well equipped to be on the stage, put on a performance, and attract a following, but isn’t as good at stepping out of the limelight and sending and supporting others to flourish in their gifts.
The problem with narcissism is it’s not the way of Jesus and His church. It ends up being a rival faction, a monster with a protruding head. Jesus is the actual head of the church, but churches with narcissistic leaders and systems betray that reality and picture a grotesque copy of Jesus’ actual ideal. One in which a man (or woman) has set up a thiefdom and subtly robs the real King of the glory due only to Him, and robs laborers who would have otherwise labored in the harvest to build the King’s Kingdom are now enlisted to build the narcissistic leader’s little hobby town.[22]
Conclusion
Churches, especially modern churches, incentivize building a brand and putting the pastor’s name (read “gifted speaker”) in lights. But this is not the way of Jesus. The way of Jesus is humble equipping and discipling. It’s authentic, not artificial. It builds a blood, sweat, and tears army ready to give their life in love for the world; not fans who like the funny stories and music. Narcissism is not just nauseating because of the failure of leadership, the eventual church fallout, but also because of the malformation of disciples of Jesus. Narcissism is a cancerous cell that replicates and contaminates.
Notes
[1] Sadly, people can “use their congregations to validate a sense of identity and worth. The church becomes an extension of the narcissistic ego, and its ups and downs lead to seasons of ego inflation and ego deflation for the pastor. Today socialmedia platforms add to this mix. Because his sense of identity is bound up in external realities, his sense of mission is wavering and unmoored, often manifesting in constantly shifting visions and programs, frequent dissatisfaction with the status quo, and anxious engagement with staff and members.” (Chuck DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.
[2] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[3] We often tend to select leaders in the Christian world according to their gifts rather than their character. We see gifts and assume the leader’s character matches the image they project (Diane Langberg, When the Church Harms God’s People).
[4] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[5] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church. “If ministry leadership is your identity, then Christ isn’t… Ministry leadership identity produces fear and anxiety and will never produce the humility and courage that come with identity in Christ. Looking horizontally, as a leader, for your identity, meaning, purpose, and internal sense of well-being asks people, places, and position to do for you what only your Messiah can do. This will produce either pride in success or fear of failure but never the kind of humility and courage of heart that results in humble, willing, confessing approachability.Ministry as a source of identity will never result in healthy gospel-shaped relationships in your leadership community, the kind of relationships in which candor is encouraged, confession is greeted with grace, and bonds of love, appreciation, affection, understanding, and respect grow strong” (Paul David Tripp, Lead, 156).
[6] See Diane Langberg, When the Church Harms God’s People.
[7] “Only 8% of U.S. Protestant pastors are extremely satisfied with discipleship in their church” (“Few Pastors Believe Discipleship Tops Their Churches’ Efforts” based on studies from “The State of Discipleship” https://research.lifeway.com/state-of-discipleship/).
[8] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[9] Even though the sacrifice is about the “name brand church” which is closely connected to the lead pastor’s name and reputation, and not mainly about Jesus’ Kingdom. Of course, “Sacricice and devotion are part and pacel of the Christian life. Jesus said, “Whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (Matt. 16:25). But when the call to sacrifice is set in a context like Willow Creek and other dynamic churches, it’s not always clear whether members are being called to sacrifice for Christ or for the church and its programs” (Katelyn Beaty, Celebrates for Jesus: How Personas, Platforms, and Profits are Hurting the Church).
[10] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[11] Ibid.
[12] Katelyn Beaty, Celebrates for Jesus.
[13] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[14] How sad that “We ignore and cover up that for which he bears nail scars, all the while using his name to sanction our deeds. When evil is discovered, our response too often is to hide misdeeds in the name of protecting the reputation of the church.” (Langberg, When the Church Harms God’s People).
[15] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[16] This is in part because “when the narcissistic leader is under attack, his response is defensiveness and a victim complex” (Ibid.). “Those affected by narcissism’s bite were led to believe it was their fault—a lack of humility, a failure to submit. Systems of power and wealth that fostered abuse” (Ibid.). “Entitled pastors snap when pricked, however. Even the smallest pinprick of challenge or concern from another leads to defensiveness and self-protective strategies” (Ibid.).
[17] Ibid.
[18] Ibid.
[19] Ibid.
[20] “Narcissistic pastors walk the fine line of omnipotence and feigned humility. He wants you to see that he is the best and brightest, but he wants you to think he is a humble servant of the Lord. He speaks of justice, of faithfulness, of humility, but he longs to be the center of attention, where his need to be special is affirmed.” (Ibid.).
[21] R. K. Bufford, “Narcissism,” in New Dictionary of Christian Apologetics, ed. Campbell Campbell-Jack and Gavin J. McGrath (Leicester, England: Inter-Varsity Press, 2006), 472.
[22] Jesus is about His Kingdom and His reign being realized in the hearts, hands, and heads of all people, regardless of their organizational affiliation. We get messed up messing around with a lesser leader’s little project. King Jesus is often working in the margins with the low and humble. The sad reality is, “Christendom’s institutional priorities often have nothing to do with, and may be antithetical to, following Jesus” (Langberg, When the Church Harms God’s People).
Diane Langberg, When the Church Harms God’s People
I really appreciated Diane Langberg’s book, When the Church Harms God’s People. Sadly, her book is very needed. Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
The body of Christ is called to be like Christ as individuals and as a gathered body of those who are one with him. Anything that does not look like Christ is not the church, even if it purports to be… We, the body of Christ, are called to follow our Head, be like our Head, carrying his light and truth into the world. Outward success, fame, wealth, and large numbers are not the fruit our Lord demonstrated during his earthly ministry. God’s purpose is to create a living body in which God is over and within each of its members as well as its corporate life.
Ministry growth, fame, and money are often taken as proof of God’s presence and work. But if that is true, then Jesus was an abject failure. He who had ultimate power and riches laid them aside. He did not grab onto them. He did not pursue them. They did not govern him. Proof of the presence of God is not found in the accoutrements of power and fame. It is found in likeness to his character.
If you want to be a shepherd/leader who honors God, the first thing you must know is that limitation is required for expansion. Incarnational leadership follows the opposite course of human leadership. Incarnational leadership descends from heaven to earth; it goes from up to down, from expansive to limited, from broad to narrow.
The infinite gathered himself up into a womb. All-Glory laid himself down in a barn. All-Power became a toddler. All-Love was slain. Such limitation is inconceivable to us. We think of limitation as an obstacle to overcome. We fight tiredness, sickness, and slowness. We believe that if we had more time, more energy, more ability, and more money, we could increase the good we want to accomplish. He, who never grows weary, knew tiredness. He, who is infinite and eternal, submitted to the clock. He, who is perfect, bore our sin and our sicknesses. Our God limited himself on all these fronts and more, and the resulting expansion is mind-boggling.
You want to live and work in the name of Jesus? If you want to lead the people of God in a way that expands his work and protects his honor, then you must do so by way of limitation. Restriction is foundational. There must be restriction of the tongue, the desires, the abilities, and the opinions of the self. There must be limitation of your way, your time frame, your speed, and your preference. There must be a limiting of the good, including your mental capacity, energy level, and powers of speech. If you want to lead, you must make yourself like those who are following. You must know their pace, their thoughts, their fears, and their needs.
We have erected beautiful buildings devoted to worship all over the world. We have created stunning music. We have raised up theology schools and trained theologians. Such things are not inherently wrong. But these things are not the church. A1ll these things can be externally beautiful yet become a den of thieves.To all of you who are shepherds: Your goal is not to preserve a church or human organization. Your goal is to serve your Lord and Shepherd, Jesus Christ.
Institutions, organizations, ministries, places, systems, and leaders may be part of Christendom, but that does not necessarily mean they reflect the ways of Jesus Christ. Nor is Christendom even the same as the living body of Christ; institutions and leaders can look Christian on the outside but be far away from Christ on the inside.
Church leaders and their followers often point to popularity, number of congregants, growing bank accounts, and particular political views as signs of God’s presence and blessing. None of these are listed in Scripture as signs of Christlikeness.
We often tend to select leaders in the Christian world according to their gifts rather than their character. We are often drawn to leaders whose intelligence, oratory, and social facility overshadow a weakness of character. When a leader is particularly gifted verbally, has a charismatic personality, and is adept with using spiritual language, it is easy to assume maturity and obedience to God. We see gifts and assume the leader’s character matches the image they project. Sadly, there have been charismatic leaders in the Christian world who achieved power and status because of their capacity for public speaking, vision casting, and entrepreneurial capabilities but had hidden character flaws such as lack of integrity or egotistical narcissism. We have watched thriving institutions crumble upon the discovery of ungodly leadership. Spiritual maturity is measured by character, by the fruit of the Spirit of God in a life.
What is Forgiveness and How Can I Forgive?
The Bible talks about forgiveness frequently. It talks about God’s forgiveness of us and our forgiveness of others. Forgiveness is important. So, it’s important that we have a good understanding of it.
What does forgiveness mean?
The truth is, we hear many confusing definitions of forgiveness. Yet, to misunderstand forgiveness brings serious consequences.[1]
The main New Testament Greek word for forgive is ἄφεσις, and basically means to “let go.” Yet, we should know that the best way to determine the biblical meaning of forgiveness is to look at its various uses in the Bible.[2] That’s a big errand and not one we will be able to do here. Yet, this study can still be helpful.
There are three main types of forgiveness.[3]
1. Legal or Judicial Forgiveness
“Judicial forgiveness involves the remission or pardoning of sin by God.” This type of forgiveness “lies at the heart of Christianity and the salvation experience.”[4] This form of forgiveness is contingent on confession of sin (Ps. 32:5; 1 Jn. 1:9) and repentance (Lk. 24:47; Acts 2:38; 5:31). In the ultimate sense, this type of forgiveness cannot be granted by humans, only sought by humans. This type of forgiveness is the kind that every person must seek. Because there is none righteous, not even one (Rom. 3:10). So, we are all in need of forgiveness.
There is, however, another sense of judicial forgiveness. That is, to forgive the debt that one owes. Imagine a friend borrows five hundred dollars; it is my right to get my money back. He owes a debt to me. But I can forgive that debt so that he does not owe me.
The Bible says that the wage of sin is death (Rom. 6:23). The debt we owe because of our sin is death and separation from God. Yet, God makes a way for our debt to be forgiven.
Are Christians to grant legal or judicial forgiveness?
First, it depends on what is meant. As we have said, we are not in the place of God to forgive sins which have been committed against Him. Yet, God in His grace and mercy has provided a way of forgiveness. God is both just and the justifier of the one who places their faith in Jesus (Rom. 3:26).
Second, God has instituted governmental authorities over us to carry out justice and enforce the law. If someone has broken the law and is sentenced to pay the penalty for their crime, we cannot release them from their punishment. In that sense, we cannot “let go” and forgive.
Yet, third, it does seem there is a sense that Christians are, at least at times, to grant legal or judicial forgiveness. This seems especially to be the case when Christians are dealing with other Christians. For example, Paul writes in his letter to the Christian Corinthians, “To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded” (6:7)?
2. Psychological Forgiveness
“Psychological forgiveness is the inner, personal category of forgiveness, and it has two aspects: negatively, it involves letting go of hatred and personal revenge; positively, it involves extending grace to the offender.”[5]This is a form of forgiveness that I believe all Christians are called to.
It should be realized, however, that letting go of revenge and retribution does not mean letting go of justice or the desire for justice. In fact, trusting in God’s perfect justice enables us to leave revenge to God (Rom. 12:19). God will perfectly carry out justice even when governmental justice fails. Trusting God’s justice facilitates forgiveness. We don’t have to avenge ourselves because God is a just avenger (Deut. 32:35; Ps. 94:1-2; Rom. 12:19; 1 Thess. 4:6).
So, “forgiveness does not necessarily remove negative consequences for the one forgiven, nor does it automatically grant trust and reconciliation.”[6] We see this in different places throughout the Bible. In Numbers 14:20-23, God forgives His people of their sin, but that does not mean there aren’t consequences. There are. None of the rebellious adults enter the Promised Land (see also 2 Sam. 12:11; Hos. 3:1-5).
Also, psychological forgiveness is not necessarily felt first; it is often granted first.[7] Forgiveness is not just a feeling; it’s a choice. Hopefully, feelings eventually accompany the choice, but forgiveness is a “letting go” whether or not we feel like letting go.[8]
Forgiveness does not mean that one must forget. “There is no such commandment in the Scripture. Forgiveness is not a shock treatment that instantly wipes out memory of the recent past.”[9] Forgiveness is a process. And I also believe it is a provision of God. He helps us to forgive, and He can heal our hurts.
Are Christians to grant psychological forgiveness?
In short, yes, I believe they are. But psychological forgiveness does not necessarily mean things must automatically or ever go back to the way things were.
3. Relational Forgiveness
This type of forgiveness is restorative. It is the restoration of a relationship or reconciliation. This form of forgiveness is always desirable, but not always possible. There are various scenarios in which this is the case. Aaron Sironi points out that Joseph, in Genesis 42-45, wisely withheld reconciliation until his brothers acknowledged their sins and expressed true remorse.[10]
“When trust is deeply broken, restoration is often a lengthy process largely determined by the changing attitudes and actions of the abuser. Words and tears are not and will never be enough to restore trust. When an abusive person genuinely repents, there is an understanding and acceptance that rebuilding trust will take time.”[11]
In Luke 17, Jesus says: “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
First, we should pay attention to ourselves, knowing that we all stumble in many ways (James 3:2). We must realize that “temptations to sin are sure to come” (Lk. 17:1) to us all. We shouldn’t ignorantly and arrogantly think we are immune.
Second, if someone[12] sins, we are to lovingly rebuke them. Yet, we must make sure we are not puffed up in pride, and we must make sure we do not have a log in our own eye when we seek to look at the speck in someone else’s eye (Matt. 7:3-5). We must also realize that some offenses should just be overlooked (Prov. 19:11; 1 Pet. 2:19, 23). We shouldn’t make an issue where no issue exists or where something can be lovingly overlooked.
Third, it says that if they repent, we are to forgive them. That seems to mean if they don’t repent, we are not constrained to forgive them, at least in the relational sense. Though, in the psychological sense mentioned above, I believe we are still to forgive. So, at least some forms of forgiveness are conditional.
But, Timothy Keller makes a good point when he says,
If a relationship has broken down, it is always your move to initiate relationship repair. Matthew 5 says, “If your brother has something against you, go to him,” while Matthew 18 says, “If you have something against your brother, go to him,” so it doesn’t matter who started it. A Christian is responsible to begin the process of reconciliation, regardless of how the alienation began. [13]
Notice Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Sometimes it is not up to us. If people in our lives insist on continued abuse, we do not need to relationally forgive them. In fact, we likely should not. I believe that would be casting our pearls before swine (Matt. 7:6).
Fourth, we are to forgive those who sin against us when they repent, even when they are struggling to defeat their sin. Therefore, we see Christians are to offer relational forgiveness when genuine repentance has taken place (2 Cor. 2:5-11).
Are Christians to grant relational forgiveness?
As we have seen, the granting of relational forgiveness seems to depend on various factors. Is it wise and safe to be in a relationship with the person who hurt you? Have they shown signs of genuine godly repentance and change?
Steps to Forgive
It can be difficult to forgive others. Yet, forgiveness is something God calls us to. So, here are five steps to help us forgive.
1. Understand God’s Forgiveness
Look at these verses about God’s forgiveness of us!
- “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against Him” (Dan. 9:9).
- “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Ps. 103:12).
- “Who is a God like You, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of His inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; You will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea” (Mic. 7:18-19).
This is how Keller says it:
We should be in the accused prisoner’s dock, but we put ourselves in the judge’s seat. But the Lord, who rightly sat in the universe’s judgment seat, came down, put himself in the dock, and went to the cross. The Judge of all the earth was judged. He was punished for us. He took the punishment we deserve. This humbles us out of our bitterness because we know we are also sinners living only by sheer mercy (Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?).
2. Understand what God says about forgiveness
We must consider what we have already looked at above. In addition, once we have remembered and celebrated God’s abundant love and forgiveness, it’s good to remember what He calls us to.
- “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).
- “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Col. 3:13).
- “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt. 6:14-15 see also Matt. 18:15-35).
3. Understand the offense(s) and negative emotions
If we are to rightly forgive someone, it’s important that we rightly understand what it is we are forgiving them for. Therefore, it is important to clearly think about what they have done and what the result has been. When we know what we need to forgive, we are better positioned to forgive.
4. Deliberately let go of the desire for revenge
We, like Jesus, are to entrust ourselves to Him who judges justly (1 Pet. 2:23). That means we work to let go of a desire for revenge because we know that God will make all things right in the end.
5. Reevaluate the person who hurt you and discover their humanity
We remember that we are all sinners in need of grace. If someone has done something to hurt you, it could be because they have been deeply hurt or because Satan deeply deceived them. Of course, neither of those things justifies at all what they did, but it can be helpful to see their humanity.
What Does Real Repentance Look Like?
This is an important consideration for the person asking for forgiveness, as well as the person granting forgiveness to consider. Genuine repentance is especially important with relational forgiveness. As we saw above, Joseph wanted to see signs of genuine repentance from his brothers before granting relational forgiveness.
So, if someone seeks to genuinely repent, they should:
- Take full responsibility for what they have done.
- Acknowledge the full and extensive scope of what they have done.
- Put boundaries and plans in place to protect the one they have hurt.
- Take active steps to change.
This is what godly repentance looks like that leads to life, as opposed to worldly repentance that leads to death (2 Cor. 7:10-16).[14] People, in other words, are called to bear fruit in keeping with repentance (Matt. 3:8).
Conclusion
It seems that for the Christian, forgiveness is required in every case. Yet, there are different types of forgiveness. If we forgive what someone owes us, that means we realize we will not exact payment. That, however, does not mean that God will not exact payment. Forgiveness, then, is an act of faith that entrusts justice and retribution into God’s hands. We can forgive and let things go when we give them to God. God can handle those things.
Notes
[1] Aaron Sironi, “From Your Heart… Forgive,” 47 in The Journal of Biblical Counseling, vol. 26, num. 3.
[2] See Steven R. Tracy, Mending the Soul, 183
[3] Timothy Keller says, “These are not two kinds of forgiveness but two aspects or stages of it. One could say that the first must always happen, and the second may happen, but that is not always possible. Attitudinal forgiveness can occur without reconciliation, but reconciliation cannot happen unless attitudinal forgiveness has already occurred. (Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?, 107)
[4] Steven Tracy, Mending the Soul, 184.
[5] Tracy, Mending the Soul, 185.
[6] Tracy, Mending the Soul, 182.
[7] Jay Adams, The Christian Counselor’s Manuel, 67.
[8] Keller says, “Forgiveness is often (or perhaps usually) granted before it’s felt inside. When you forgive somebody, you’re not saying, ‘All my anger is gone.’ What you’re saying when you forgive is ‘I’m now going to treat you the way God treated me. I remember your sins no more'” (Forgive).
[9] Adams, The Christian Counselor’s Manuel, 64-65.
[10] Sironi, “From Your Heart… Forgive,” 51.
[11] Sironi, “From Your Heart… Forgive,” 51.
[12] Luke 17:3 says “brother.” This refers to any Christian brother or sister. But seems to apply in certain contexts to non-Christians, as well.
[13] Keller, Forgive, 190.
[14] “True repentance begins where whitewashing (“Nothing really happened”) and blame-shifting (“It wasn’t really my fault”) and self-pity (“I’m sorry because of what it has cost me”) and self-flagellation (“I will feel so terrible no one will be able to criticize me”) end” (Keller, Forgive, 149).
Finding Identity Beyond the Church Building
Enjoyed this conversation with Britton from Pastor to Pioneer. I recount some of my and Leah’s story, going from mega church to micro church.
What’s Keeping Churches from Making Disciples?
Most churches know that discipleship is the main mission of the church. It’s in most mission statements. Yet, what kind of person does the church produce? The Christ-commanded product is a disciple who makes disciples.[1] “But for many churches, discipleship ranks toward the bottom of their priorities.”
Disciples trust Jesus as Lord and Boss, and follow Him by imitating His life and obeying His teachings.[2] Jesus calls disciples to deny themselves, take up their cross daily, and follow Him. This means disciples have repented of sin, forsaken the world, and committed their lives to follow Him. Historically, being a disciple involved learning, studying, and passing along the master’s teachings.[3]
Is this what the church is making? Many would say no. To a great extent, I agree. Even back in 1988, Bill Hull said,
The evangelical church has become weak, flabby, and too dependent on artificial means that can only simulate real spiritual power. Churches are too little like training centers to shape up the saints and too much like cardiopulmonary wards at the local hospital. We have proliferated self-indulgent consumer religion, the what-can-the-church-do-for-me syndrome. We are too easily satisfied with conventional success: bodies, bucks, and buildings. The average Christian resides in the comfort zone of “I pay the pastor to preach, administrate, and counsel. I pay him, he ministers to me… I am the consumer, he is the retailer.”[4]
While churches are biblically mandated and should be structured to make disciples, many churches prioritize attendance and attractive programs over discipleship, which results in discipleship deficiencies. Discipleship involves more than mere head knowledge; it involves intentionally instructing Jesus’ followers to “observe all that Jesus commanded” and to become disciple-makers themselves.
So, Hull says, “The crisis at the heart of the church is that we give disciple-making lip service, but do not practice it.”[5] If that’s the case, what are some of the issues keeping churches from making disciples?
1. Cultural Values
The cultural air that we breathe has an imperceptible impact. Christian Smith does a good job explaining some of the cultural values that we can easily unknowingly imbibe in his book, Why Religion Went Obsolete.
David Foster Wallace once told this story:
There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way. The older fish nods at them: “Morning, boys, how’s the water?” The two young fish swim on for a bit, and then one of them looks over at the other. “What the heck is water?”
It can be very difficult to be aware of our own culture and the impact that it is having on us.[6]
Our culture of consumerism and materialism is a big factor. So, Soong-Chan Rah, for example, has said,
Market-driven church that appeals to the materialistic desires of the individual consumer has resulted in a comfortable church, but not a biblical church. The church’s captivity to materialism has resulted in the unwillingness to confront sins such as economic and racial injustice and has produced consumers of religion rather than followers of Jesus.[7]
My point here is that our culture, even our church culture, does not place high value on discipleship. Although we may say we do. Our actions, or inaction, speak louder than our words.
We must let the Bible dictate our church culture, not culture.
2. Budgetary and Building Needs
Related to number one above, we have a church culture in America that is very dependent on buildings and budgets. We often think that for the church to continue, it has to “pack the pews” so the doors can stay open and the lights can stay on. Thus, the budgetary concerns can easily take precedence over all other concerns.
Here’s our thinking: What good can the church do if the church closes? Sunday comes quickly, and we need to have good sermons and programs if we hope to bring in the tithe or at least some form of giving.
Discipleship can easily take a back seat. Discipleship can be slow. Jesus walked, talked, and trained His disciples. This took time. Lots of time. Actual years. Yet, a movement of multiplication can happen when we make disciples.
We have conditioned ourselves for a type of fast-food or industrial revolution discipleship mentality. We want disciples quick, right off the express line. But that’s not how disciples have ever been made. But perhaps, especially now in our increasingly post-Christian, Bible-illiterate world.
We must care more about building up the actual body of Christ and not prioritize the church building (and budget).
3. Pastoral Identity Issues
Sadly, having been in pastoral ministry for 17 years and worked in various church contexts, sometimes there are pastoral identity issues that prevent pastors from investing in discipleship. It doesn’t feed a pastor’s ego if a lot of people don’t show up (however, “a lot of people” is defined). But Jesus didn’t always have a lot of people around Him. And sometimes when He did, He would say some very controversial things, and then many would leave. Christ’s goal was not a crowd, but “little Christs.”
A pastor’s ego is not fed when he equips others to do the work of the ministry, when he gives away ministry, helps others faithfully lead, shrugs out of the limelight, and pushes others towards success. But Christian ministry was never supposed to be about anyone’s ego.
But you know what is fed when a pastor doesn’t feed his ego? The church is fed, and it thus grows in both size and maturity because it is functioning as Jesus always intended it to function. Not as a one-person show, but as the church body being loving light wheresoever the church body finds itself throughout the week.
The church is an immaterial reality, and it was never meant to be bound by a material building; it was always meant to find physical expression in the living and breathing, walking and talking (incarnate), temples of God that Jesus’ people are. Just as the word of God was not bound, although Paul was bound in prison, God’s church is not bound to a building.
It is most healthy when it’s out loving in the wild world. That’s what it was always meant for. The telos or purpose of a candle is to be a source of light in darkness. It’s the same with the church. The church is called to be light in darkness and salt in a world of rot and decay. Notice, Jesus did not give the church something aspirational when He said, “You are the light of the world.” Jesus said something ontological. He said what we are.
I’m concerned that many pastors’ call to serve the church is self-serving. Pastors are often concerned about “their” church, not the Church. Pastors, sad to say, can be more concerned about their building being full rather than heaven being full.
The church is to make much of Jesus the Good Shepherd and not exalt any human.
4. Lack of Leadership Diversity (APEST)
“APEST” stands for apostles, prophets, evangelists, shepherds, and teachers. The Lord of the church has given these varied gifts to the church so that it will be balanced and mature (see Ephesians 4). Sadly, however, these gifts often find expression disconnected from the other gifts.
(It’s important to note that when I talk about APEST, I am talking about gifting. Not office or authority.)
Churches with certain types of leaders will move in certain directions. Teacher types tend to be thinkers, writers, researchers, and theologians. Shepherds tend to be carers, counselors, and community builders. Evangelists tend to be recruiters to the cause, apologists, and networkers. Prophets tend to call people to change, have holy criticism, and care deeply about social issues. Apostles pioneer, innovate, and create new approaches and structures.[8]
It seems the most common type of church, at least in the West, is the shepherd/teacher church.[9] This often results in a “knowledge-based community where right doctrine is seen to be more important than rightdoing.”[10] There is often an overemphasis on the sermon and Sunday service, and community, discipleship, and evangelism are an afterthought.
Again, diversity and balance are important. “The one-dimensional teaching church attracts people who love to be taught and tends to alienate other forms of spiritual expression. This is seldom a good thing because such churches simply become vulnerable to groupthink or even mass delusion. This has happened way too often… witness the many one-dimensional charismatic/vertical prophetic movements of the last century. Or consider the asymmetrical mega-church that markets religion and ends up producing consumptive, dependent, underdeveloped, cultural Christians with an exaggerated sense of entitlement.”[11]
The fact that “we have sought to negotiate our way in the world without three of the five functions (by elevating teaching and shepherding and neglecting evangelism, the prophetic, and the apostolic) accounts for so many of the problems we face in the church.”[12]
5. Lack of Commitment to the New Testament Ideal
Many times, we don’t know what we’re aiming for when it comes to disciples. We often lack a clear definition, or it’s a knowledge-based definition. Churches often emphasize orthodoxy (right belief) over orthopraxy (right practice). This results in many churchgoers who know a lot but don’t necessarily do a lot. But the great commission doesn’t just say “teach.” Its aim is practice. The Great Commission says, “teach them to observe everything I have commanded” (Matt. 28:20).
The church body is made up of individual members who together and separately worship, reflect, and share. The church is not an institution or an event. It is a living and moving organism. It is embodied all over every sector of society. So, we must ask, are disciples being made who make disciples who know, grow, and go?
The New Testament ideal is every believer practicing the missional mandate. It’s not just about knowing, but about going and doing all that Jesus commanded. The church must have growth goals or metrics that match the mission that Jesus has given to the church.
6. Lack of A Model to Emulate
The Apostle Paul said, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). Jesus is the New Testament ideal. We are to imitate Him. And “Jesus poured His life into a few disciples and taught them to make other disciples.”[13]
So, we have an example to emulate in Jesus and Paul. Christian leaders must also provide examples and practice what they preach.[14] If pastors, for example, are—intentionally or unintentionally—held up as the Christian ideal, there are certain implications. If pastors mainly study and teach publicly or mainly function as CEOs, then that’s what is being modeled to people. And not lived everyday discipleship.
Conclusion
Good things often distract from the best things. And actually, some of the things churches do that they think are good only serve to create a culture of consumerism. Things must change. We must obey Jesus and make disciples who make disciples. We must make whatever structural and organizational changes are necessary to ensure we’re carrying out Jesus’ commission.[15]
I propose a new approach to “doing church” because, to a great extent, the way we’re currently doing church, at least in the West, is not working. We are not making disciples who make disciples in accordance with our Lord’s command. To a great extent, the church is making sitters. We must take our Boss’s words seriously and make structural and organizational changes.
Transformation happens less by argument and more by creating new rhythms and practices that shift not only people’s thinking but also their values and core commitments. We think, practice, and love our way into transformation. As Alan Hirsch has perceptively said, “The best way of making ideas have impact is to embed them into the very rhythms and habits of the community in the form of common tools and practices.”[16]
We need to stop just talking about discipleship and having programs for discipleship. We need something more radical. We need to scrap the old ways that allow for abstraction, and instead create regular rhythms that embody application.
Notes
[1] See Bill Hull, The Disciple-Making Pastor, 14.
[2] See Michael S. Heiser, What Does God Want? (Blind Spot Press, 2018), 94–95 and Ken Wilson, Finding God in the Bible: A Beginner’s Guide to Knowing God (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2005), 86.
[3] Robert B. Sloan Jr., “Disciple,” in Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary, ed. Chad Brand et al. (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2003), 425.
[4] Bill Hull, The Disciple-Making Pastor, 12.
[5] Hull, The Disciple-Making Pastor, 15.
[6] Alan Hirsch, 5Q: Reactivating the Original Intelligence and Capacity of the Body of Christ.
[7] Soong-Chan Rah, The Next Evangelicalism, 63.
[8] There are a few Johns who stick out as teachers. John Calvin, Jonathan Edwards, and John MacArthur. Here are some other examples: George Whitefield (evangelist/apostle), John Piper (teacher/prophet), Charles Spurgeon (evangelist/prophet), Mother Teresa (shepherd) Richard Baxter (shepherd/teacher), Teresa of Avila (prophet/teacher), St. Patrick (apostle/shepherd) John Wimber (apostle/evangelist), David Platt (teacher/prophet), Hudson Taylor (apostle/evangelist), Catherine Booth (apostle), Dietrich Bonhoeffer (prophet/teacher), Billy Graham (evangelist), and Martin Luther King Jr. (prophet).
[9] “The church is actually perfectly designed by shepherds and teachers to produce shepherding and teaching outcomes. The organizational bias of the inherited form of church organization is in a real sense a reflection of the consciousness of the people who designed it in the first place!” (Alan Hirsch, 5Q).
[10] Hirsch, 5Q.
[11] Ibid.
[12] Ibid.
[13] Spader, Four Chair Discipling, 36. “These few disciples, within two years after the Spirit was poured out at Pentecost, went out and “filled Jerusalem” with Jesus’ teaching (Acts 5:28). Within four and a half years they had planted multiplying churches and equipped multiplying disciples (Acts 9:31). Within eighteen years it was said of them that they “turned the world upside down” (Acts 17;6 ESV). And in twenty-eight years it was said that the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world” (Col. 1:6). For four years Jesus lived out the values He championed in His Everyday Commission. He made disciples who could make disciples!” (Ibid.).
[14] Jesus had a specific method which we would be wise to observe and follow. See, for example, Matthew 9:35-39: “Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.'” Jesus went, taught, proclaimed, healed, saw, and had compassion. He equipped disciples and sent them out into the harvest. He didn’t want them to sit in a building or do ministry in a building. What’s needed and what Jesus told us to pray for is laborers sent into the harvest.
[15] “Not much will change until we raise the issue and create controversy, until the American church is challenged to take the Great Commission seriously” (Hull, The Disciple-Making Pastor, 15).
[16] Hirsch, 5Q.
*Photo by Nellie Adamyan
What Is Success As A Church?
It can be easy to point out what is wrong in the church, but what are we even supposed to be aiming for? What does success look like? Church bloat is not the aim. Increasing the number of people who come to sit in a church building once a week is not the goal.
What is the Mission of the Church? by Kevin DeYoung and Greg Gilbert is a helpful book. They say, “The mission of the church—as seen in the Great Commissions, the early church in Acts, and the life of the apostle Paul—is to win people to Christ and build them up in Christ. Making disciples—that’s our task.”[1]
Success looks like more people loving Jesus and loving and living like Jesus. Success is making apprentices of Jesus who:
1. Go into the world with the good news of Jesus to make disciples.
How is this measured? Mature disciples will be regularly spending time with their neighbors, peers, and coworkers. Mature disciples don’t mainly spend their time in a church building, but being the church in the world. The goal is for Christians to obey the missional mandate. Faithful disciples don’t practice invitation; they practice evangelization.[2]
Instead of one person sharing the good news of Jesus from a stage once or twice a week, we’re working towards all people, all the time; everyone, everywhere. The goal of the church is to make disciples who, in turn, make disciples. Not fans. The goal is not getting more people into a building. The goal is sending more people out into the world.
2. Grow in maturity in word and deed.
How is this measured? Mature disciples will be regularly practicing the grace of the spiritual disciplines. It’s not just about sitting in a service but doing the things the Lord has called us to do. We can know a lot of things about Jesus and even say, “Jesus is Lord,” and yet contradict what we know and say by our lives.[3] If Jesus is Lord, we must listen and obey (Luke 6:46).
Maturity is not knowledge-based; it’s obedience-based. Knowing must lead to doing. Experientially loving God and tangibly loving our neighbors is vital. We don’t count consumers. We count disciples.
3. Give their time, talents, and treasure.
Mature disciples will regularly serve their local community and practice hospitality.[4] Notice, this is not church building centric. Mature disciples serve Christians and non-Christians (Gal. 6:10) where they work, live, and play.
Maturity is when you serve God in the way He has gifted and called you, not in the way that society expects you to. Taking ownership of your mission is a mark of maturity. The goal is not hoarders. The goal is giving away.
I believe we should encourage more service in the surrounding community and less in the church building. We should see that as more needed. May we be salt and light in our community and neighborhoods, and less about the industrial complex of the “church.” “Serving” does not equal serving in the church. I am sick of hearing pastors guilt people into serving in the church building. Pastors are sometimes guilty of telling people to essentially hide there light in a bushel. But, if you know the song, it says, “Hide it under a bushel? No!”
Serve and love the people where you are. We want people staying in their bowling league, with their coworkers, neighbors, and friends even if it means not going to the second Bible study or being on the tech team. We would much rather people practice hospitality than be on a hospitality team.
4. Gather together to encourage and be encouraged.
Mature disciples will be regularly gathering in community to practice the “one another passages.” Mature disciples—male and female, theologically trained or not—will be regularly using their spiritual gifts to build up the body of Christ.
Maturity is gathering and building up other believers and purposely scattering to bless the broken world that needs Jesus’ love. Maturity isn’t about attendance. It’s about intentionally spurring those in your life on towards love and good works (Heb. 10:24). The goal is incarnation, not isolation.[5]
Our Metrics Must Match Our Goals.
If the four practices above are our growth goals, there are various implications. We must create different structures to best reach those goals.
We all have things we value. If you walk into my house, you will see certain things that my family values. You will see that my wife and I value books. If you walk into my son’s room, you will see that he values Legos and books. We all have things where we live that show what we value.
What do we “see” at the gathering of the church? And what does what we see communicate about what we value? Do we value real, lived-out, day-in, day-out, discipleship? Or do we value budgets, buildings, branding, platforms, programming, and pizzazz?
I believe we are perfectly designed to obtain our current results. But, sadly, I don’t think the things we do result in disciples who make disciples. I don’t think our metrics do a good job of measuring discipleship, let alone the 2 Timothy 2:2 commission.[6]
What success looks like must change if we are to resemble our Savior. Our aim must shift if we want the church to reflect Jesus’ intent. Jesus’ clear emphasis was on making disciples who make disciples. “Jesus poured His life into a few disciples and taught them to make other disciples. Seventeen times we find Jesus with the masses, but forty-six times we see Him with His disciples.”[7]
The mission of the church is not to gather a crowd. The mission of the church is to make disciples who make disciples.
Notes
[1] Kevin DeYoung & Greg Gilbert, What is the Mission of the Church?, 63.
[2] Christians are called to share the good news of Jesus with people. The Bible never tells us to invite people to church (e.g., Matt. 5:16; 10:32-33; 28:18-20; Mark 8:38; 16:15; Romans 1:16; 10:14-17; 15:18; 1 Cor. 9:19-23; 1 Cor. 4:1-2; 10:33; 2 Cor. 5:20; 1 Peter 2:12).
[3] The Lord desires that Christians (who are followers of Christ, after all) be agents of peace (Matt. 5:9), partiers with the poor (Lk. 14:13-14) and helpers of the poor (Gal. 2:9-10), ministers of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18-19), protectors of orphans and widows (Is. 1:17; James 1:27), fighters of injustice (Is. 58:6), and people of mercy (Matt. 5:7).
[4] Hospitality is important because it’s been a Christian value throughout Christian history, and it’s a strategic way to be the church on mission. This value is demonstrated by regularly sharing meals with others (including those who are different and needy), intentionality in connecting with our neighbors, and prayerful pursuit of loving friendships where God has planted us.
[5] I believe a few pivots are needed. Here are a few examples: The criteria of faithfulness and maturity should not be going to a building on Sunday and sitting in a hour/hour-and-a-half service. And for the “super Christian” serving the church by watching the kids, being a greeter, or giving some money to the church. Instead, being the salt and light church of God on Monday and throughout the week is the criteria. No bifurcation in life. We are the church. We don’t go to church. Church is not on Sundays.
[6] 2 Tim. 2:2 says, “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.”
[7] Dann Spader, Four Chair Discipling, 36. “These few disciples, within two years after the Spirit was poured out at Pentecost, went out and “filled Jerusalem” with Jesus’ teaching (Acts 5:28). Within four and a half years they had planted multiplying churches and equipped multiplying disciples (Acts 9:31). Within eighteen years it was said of them that they “turned the world upside down” (Acts 17;6 ESV). And in twenty-eight years it was said that the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world” (Col. 1:6). For four years Jesus lived out the values He championed in His Everyday Commission. He made disciples who could make disciples!” (Dann Spader, Four Chair Discipling, 36). Also, “Jesus gives more than 400 commands in the Gospels and more than half of them are disciple-making commands.” (Ibid., 37).
*Photo by Helena Lopes
Bloated Churches Aren’t Necessarily Healthy Churches
Bloated churches aren’t necessarily healthy churches. This is especially true since we live in an extremely consumeristic culture, and churches are closing all the time. Transfer growth is very common, but it’s not exactly a mark of health.[1] The reality is “the churches that are growing are picking up people from churches that aren’t growing, not from conversion growth.”[2]
This is the case for most of the biggest and brightest churches in America.[3] In fact, “Studies show only 3-5% of American churches are growing primarily through conversion growth. The remaining growth is mostly transfer growth.”[4]
This has been happening for decades. Bigger churches are getting bigger, and smaller churches are getting smaller. It’s part of the great evangelical recession. It’s what happens in times of decline. “In the same way book stores consolidated when Amazon and online book sales emerged, or General Motors consolidated after the Great Recession, getting rid of Pontiac, Hummer, Saturn, and other divisions to focus on its remaining brands.”[5]
Church bloat is a consolidation of resources. Similar to what happens during a siege. It is a “game of attrition.” Mega churches have a type of efficiency that results from consolidated resources. They can have fewer pastors per attendee, can repeat church services, and livestream at other campuses. Higher-paying pastoral positions can be supplemented with lower-paying positions. Mega churches have found a way to get the “most bang for their buck.”
The bloating is not mainly a positive trend. It’s actually a sign or symptom of some negative trends in America. Christian Smith lays out some of those in his book, Why Religion Went Obsolete. The bloating is a sign of the times. Thus, the growth or decline of a church is not necessarily the direct result of local leadership. It could rather be due to trends beyond the control of leadership.[6]
What are some of the potential downsides to church bloat? In the past, I’ve shared about the potential and common problems with mega church. If church bloat continues, then those accompanying problems are very likely to increase. Here are a few: superstar pastor culture,[7] reduced pastoral care, fewer connections and community, and a consumeristic mentality.[8] Also, consolidation of resources and growth in the size of one church is not necessarily growth in the Church (That is, the Kingdom of God). This is certainly the case if the church is growing primarily through transfer growth.[9]
How Do You Avoid Church Bloat?
The treatment suggested for human bloating is avoiding the consumption of gas-producing foods. It’s similar for the church. We stop church bloat by stopping consumerism.
When the emphasis is on serving inside the church building it leads to bloat. Service inside the building leads to a sedentary lifestyle instead of service in the local community where it’s most needed. The church body must exercise the muscles of evangelism and service or be atrophied.[10]
The church has always been called to serve and do things like watch kids. But the New Testament never hints that it should primarily take place in a church building. Quite the opposite actually. The church is to be light in darkness, which entails the church being involved in the world, not closeted away from it.
It should also be noted that when someone’s belly is bloated, they feel full, but there’s not a lot of substance or health inside. It’s similar in some churches. Things look full and may even look healthy, but it’s just bloat. People are in the seats, but disciples aren’t in the streets.
As has been wisely said, “More people doesn’t always mean more disciples” and “Showing up isn’t growing up.” Healthy churches make disciples who make disciples. The goal is four generations of disciple-makers (2 Tim. 2:2). The goal is disciples who make disciples. The goal is not church bloat. Church bloat looks full, but full is not healthy.
Notes
[1] Competing with the church down the street is not exactly making a big dent in the ledger of heaven and may be a distraction from hell.
[2] Carey Nieuwhof, “5 Disruptive Church Trends that will Rule 2025.”
[3] “Even when a church is on a list like Outreach’s Fastest Growing or Largest Church list, a deeper drill down shows that a lot of growth is simply transfer growth” (Carey Nieuwhof, “5 Disruptive Church Trends that will Rule 2025”).
[4] Ibid.
[5] Ibid.
[6] Of course, this is not to say that leadership plays no role. It is very important. But, to take an example to demonstrate my point, churches that were set up well for livestream pre-COVID-19 had a growth advantage over those who did not.
[7] Mega churches can easily become a breeding ground for toxic leadership and a lack of accountability.
[8] What if church bloat is a symptom of pandering to people’s insatiable pursuit of pleasure in the form of convenience and lack of need for relational commitment? What if popularity and church bloat could potentially be a symptom of something sinister? What if the growth is not through healthy, real-life, and whole-life apprenticeship to Jesus but something else? What if the pull is not discipleship but the offloading of duty? Instead of drawing near to God, and He will draw near to us (James 4:8), we have convenient worship experiences. Instead of bringing up our kids in the instruction of the Lord, we have a youth group. Instead of practicing the one another passages, we have the occasional handshake or community group on our terms when it’s convenient. Instead of evangelism, we have invitation. Instead of Kingdom growth, we have church bloat.
[9] It should also be pointed out that our evangelistic strategy is very expensive. In the USA, we spend roughly $1.5 million on church functions per baptism of one new convert (David B. Barrett and Todd M. Johnson, World Christian Trends AD 30-AD 2200, 520-29). Notice, this is a convert, not a discipled and faithful follower of Jesus. Part of the reason for such expense per baptism is most American churches have a “come and see” model instead of a “go and tell” model.
[10] A bloated church ironically can lead to a cachectic church.
*Photo by Kate Tweedy
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