Finding Identity Beyond the Church Building
Enjoyed this conversation with Britton from Pastor to Pioneer. I recount some of my and Leah’s story, going from mega church to micro church.
What Is Success As A Church?
It can be easy to point out what is wrong in the church, but what are we even supposed to be aiming for? What does success look like? Church bloat is not the aim. Increasing the number of people who come to sit in a church building once a week is not the goal.
What is the Mission of the Church? by Kevin DeYoung and Greg Gilbert is a helpful book. They say, “The mission of the church—as seen in the Great Commissions, the early church in Acts, and the life of the apostle Paul—is to win people to Christ and build them up in Christ. Making disciples—that’s our task.”[1]
Success looks like more people loving Jesus and loving and living like Jesus. So, as apprentices of Jesus, we want to be…
Going into our world with the good news of Jesus to make disciples.
How is this measured? Mature disciples will be regularly spending time with their neighbors, peers, and coworkers. Mature disciples don’t mainly spend their time in a church building, but being the church in the world. The goal is for Christians to obey the missional mandate. Faithful disciples don’t practice invitation; they practice evangelization.[2]
Instead of one person sharing the good news of Jesus from a stage once or twice a week, we’re working towards all people, all the time; everyone, everywhere. The goal of the church is to make disciples who, in turn, make disciples. Not fans. The goal is not getting more people into a building. The goal is sending more people out into the world.
Growing in maturity in word and deed.
How is this measured? Mature disciples will be regularly practicing the grace of the spiritual disciplines. It’s not just about sitting in a service but doing the things the Lord has called us to do. We can know a lot of things about Jesus and even say, “Jesus is Lord,” and yet contradict what we know and say by our lives.[3] If Jesus is Lord, we must listen and obey (Luke 6:46).
Maturity is not knowledge-based; it’s obedience-based. Knowing must lead to doing. Experientially loving God and tangibly loving our neighbors is vital. We don’t count consumers. We count disciples.
Giving of our time, talents, and treasure.
Mature disciples will regularly serve their local community and practice hospitality.[4] Notice, this is not church building centric. Mature disciples serve Christians and non-Christians (Gal. 6:10) where they work, live, and play.
Maturity is when you serve God in the way He has gifted and called you, not in the way that society expects you to. Taking ownership of your mission is a mark of maturity. The goal is not hoarders. The goal is giving away.
I believe we should encourage more service in the surrounding community and less in the church building. We should see that as more needed. May we be salt and light in our community and neighborhoods, and less about the industrial complex of the “church.” “Serving” does not equal serving in the church. I am over hearing pastors guilt people into serving in the church building. Pastors are sometimes guilty of telling people to essentially hide there light in a bushel. But, if you know the song, it says, “Hide it under a bushel? No!”
Serve and love the people where you are. We want people staying in their bowling league with their coworkers, neighbors, and friends even if it means not going to the second Bible study or being on the tech team. We would much rather people practice hospitality than be on a hospitality team.
Gathering together to encourage and be encouraged.
Mature disciples will be regularly gathering in community to practice the “one another passages.” Mature disciples—male and female, theologically trained or not—will be regularly using their spiritual gifts to build up the body of Christ.
Maturity is gathering and building up other believers and purposely scattering to bless the broken world that needs Jesus’ love. Maturity isn’t about attendance. It’s about intentionally spurring those in your life on towards love and good works (Heb. 10:24). The goal is incarnation, not isolation.[5]
Our Metrics Must Match Our Goals.
If the four practices above are our growth goals, there are various implications. We must create different structures to best reach those goals.
We all have things we value. If you walk into my house, you will see certain things that my family values. You will see that my wife and I value books. If you walk into my son’s room, you will see that he values Legos and books. We all have things where we live that show what we value.
What do we “see” at the gathering of the church? What does what we see communicate about what we value? Do we value real, lived-out, day-in, day-out, discipleship? Or do we value budgets, buildings, branding, platforms, programming, and pizzazz?
I believe we are perfectly designed to obtain our current results. But, sadly, I don’t think the things we do result in disciples who make disciples. I don’t think our metrics do a good job of measuring discipleship, let alone the 2 Timothy 2:2 commission.[6]
What success looks like must change if we are to resemble our Savior. Our aim must shift if we want the church to reflect Jesus’ intent. Jesus’ clear emphasis was on making disciples who make disciples. “Jesus poured His life into a few disciples and taught them to make other disciples. Seventeen times we find Jesus with the masses, but forty-six times we see Him with His disciples.”[7]
Notes
[1] Kevin DeYoung & Greg Gilbert, What is the Mission of the Church?, 63.
[2] Christians are called to share the good news of Jesus with people. The Bible never tells us to invite people to church (e.g., Matt. 5:16; 10:32-33; 28:18-20; Mark 8:38; 16:15; Romans 1:16; 10:14-17; 15:18; 1 Cor. 9:19-23; 1 Cor. 4:1-2; 10:33; 2 Cor. 5:20; 1 Peter 2:12).
[3] The Lord desires that Christians (who are followers of Christ, after all) be agents of peace (Matt. 5:9), partiers with the poor (Lk. 14:13-14) and helpers of the poor (Gal. 2:9-10), ministers of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18-19), protectors of orphans and widows (Is. 1:17; James 1:27), fighters of injustice (Is. 58:6), and people of mercy (Matt. 5:7).
[4] Hospitality is important because it’s been a Christian value throughout Christian history, and it’s a strategic way to be the church on mission. This value is demonstrated by regularly sharing meals with others (including those who are different and needy), intentionality in connecting with our neighbors, and prayerful pursuit of loving friendships where God has planted us.
[5] I believe a few pivots are needed. Here are a few examples: The criteria of faithfulness and maturity should not be going to a building on Sunday and sitting in a hour/hour-and-a-half service. And for the “super Christian” serving the church by watching the kids, being a greeter, or giving some money to the church. Instead, being the salt and light church of God on Monday and throughout the week is the criteria. No bifurcation in life. We are the church. We don’t go to church. Church is not on Sundays.
[6] 2 Tim. 2:2 says, “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.”
[7] Dann Spader, Four Chair Discipling, 36. “These few disciples, within two years after the Spirit was poured out at Pentecost, went out and “filled Jerusalem” with Jesus’ teaching (Acts 5:28). Within four and a half years they had planted multiplying churches and equipped multiplying disciples (Acts 9:31). Within eighteen years it was said of them that they “turned the world upside down” (Acts 17;6 ESV). And in twenty-eight years it was said that the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world” (Col. 1:6). For four years Jesus lived out the values He championed in His Everyday Commission. He made disciples who could make disciples!” (Dann Spader, Four Chair Discipling, 36). Also, “Jesus gives more than 400 commands in the Gospels and more than half of them are disciple-making commands.” (Ibid., 37).
*Photo by Helena Lopes
The “One Another” Passages Are Commands, Not Options
Online church and spectator church don’t prioritize the practice of the “one another” commands. They make the “one another” passages optional add-ons, but Scripture doesn’t. A handshake and even a weekly hug is not the same as taking these commands seriously. But what if the practice of these commands is vital for the maturity of Christians? What if these commands are in Scripture to be practiced and prioritized?
The phrase “one another” is derived from the Greek word allelon, which means “one another, each other; mutually, reciprocally.” It occurs 100 times in the New Testament. Approximately 59 of those occurrences are specific commands teaching us how (and how not) to relate to one another. Obedience to those commands is imperative. It forms the basis for all true Christian community, and has a direct impact on our witness to the world (John 13:35). The following list is not exhaustive:
Positive Commands (how to treat one another)
- Love one another (John 13:34 – This command occurs at least 16 times)
- Be devoted to one another (Romans 12:10)
- Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you (Romans 15:7)
- Honor one another above yourselves (Romans 12:10)
- Live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16)
- Build up one another (Romans 14:19; 1 Thessalonians 5:11)
- Be like-minded towards one another (Romans 15:5)
- Accept one another (Romans 15:7)
- Admonish one another (Romans 15:14; Colossians 3:16)
- Greet one another (Romans 16:16)
- Care for one another (1 Corinthians 12:25)
- Serve one another (Galatians 5:13)
- Bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2)
- Forgive one another (Ephesians 4:2, 32; Colossians 3:13)
- Be patient with one another (Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13)
- Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15, 25)
- Be kind and compassionate to one another (Ephesians 4:32)
- Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs (Ephesians 5:19)
- Submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21, 1 Peter 5:5)
- Consider others better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3)
- Look to the interests of one another (Philippians 2:4)
- Bear with one another (Colossians 3:13)
- Teach one another (Colossians 3:16)
- Comfort one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18)
- Encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
- Exhort one another (Hebrews 3:13)
- Stir up [provoke, stimulate] one another to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24)
- Show hospitality to one another (1 Peter 4:9)
- Employ the gifts that God has given us for the benefit of one another (1 Peter 4:10)
- Clothe yourselves with humility towards one another (1 Peter 5:5)
- Pray for one another (James 5:16)
- Confess your faults to one another (James 5:16)
Negative Commands (how not to treat one another)
- Do not lie to one another (Colossians 3:9)
- Stop passing judgment on one another (Romans 14:13)
- If you keep on biting and devouring each other… you’ll be destroyed by each other (Galatians 5:15)
- Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other (Galatians 5:26)
- Do not slander one another (James 4:11)
- Don’t grumble against each other (James 5:9)
All of these passages assume a deep relational connection. As Christians, we are in a real sense “members of one another” (Romans 12:5; Ephesians 4:25) and very much need one another.
These “one another” commands cannot be practiced one Sunday a week, sitting in a church service. To truly practice the exhortations in these passages requires a type of “living together.” I think the whole Western American church structure needs a redo. I think the paradigm is sick. Perhaps church was never supposed to be structured with a stage and an audience to entertain? Perhaps the church was never meant to be something we merely attend? Perhaps “we are family” was never meant to be a church tagline, but a reality?
Perhaps it’s utterly vital that we prioritize practicing the one another passages? What if we need to restructure the church to ensure the practice of these passages? What if we need to make time, maybe even have a meal together at least once a week, to help ensure we’re complying with the commands of God’s word? Big adjustments would make sense if the “one another” passages are commands, not options.
I propose we make the changes and make it incredibly difficult for people to be passive observers of church. Jesus has said we are the church, His body. We need to be allegiant to Him as the Lord and do the things He has called us to do. I don’t want to make it easy for people to disobey the Lord.[1]
Notes
[1] I appreciate that a lot of churches have Sunday School or Community Groups but sadly a lot of people opt out of these. And sometimes churches make it to easy to opt out.
*Photo by Tegan Mierle
We Must Love Others as Jesus Has Shown Us
In this article we’re looking at love. But to quote the singer Haddaway, “What Is Love”? The band Foreigner must not have known what love is because they said, “I Want to Know What Love Is.” Tina Turner was confused about love too, sheasked, “What’s Love Got to Do with It”? I’m not sure what Elvis Presley thought about love but he “Can’t Help Falling In Love.” And Taylor Swift has a whole “Love Story.”
Others aren’t so favorable on the topic of love. Khalid’s opinion is that “Love Lies” and Lady Gaga just says, “Stupid Love.” But the Backstreet Boys don’t care, “As Long As You Love Me.” Justin Bieber’s advice, however, is “Love Yourself.”
But the Beatles have a very favorable view of love. They say, “All You Need Is Love.” Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn’t encourage you by sharing Whitney Houston’s pledge: “I Will Always Love You.”
Okay, I said a lot of things but I didn’t answer my question. What is love? We can talk a lot about love and even sing about it but that doesn’t mean we know what ‘love’ is. This points us to the importance of defining love. It seems especially important to understand what it means if it’s ‘all we need,’ as the Beatles said.
So, what even is love? In the movie 10 Things I Hate About You, we see an explanation of the difference between ‘like’ and ‘love.’
Bianca says: ‘See, there’s a difference between like and love, because I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.’
Chastity says: ‘But I love my Skechers.’
Bianca says: ‘That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack.’
I think Bianca is correct. There is a difference between ‘like’ and ‘love.’ We intuitively know there are differences, but we’re still very often confused. In English, there’s just one word for love: love. In Greek, there are four.[1] The very short Bible passage we’re looking at has two Greek words for “love” (philadelphia and agapaó).
Sometimes a spelled-out definition is helpful but sometimes seeing an example is more powerful. The Bible shows us what love is. Actually, from the beginning to the end, it recites a better love story than Taylor Swift’s (the song or all the hype about her and Travis Kelce).
Paul, one of the first Christian leaders, wrote to a group of Jesus followers who lived in the city of Thessaloniki: “Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, 10for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more” (1 Thess. 4:9–10).
Paul says, “You have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another.” Paul is saying that the Jesus followers know what love is. And they are loving one another. Why? How can our culture be so confused about love and yet they were so proficient at loving others?
They were “taught by God.” Not to geek out too much but this is one word in Greek—they were God-taught. This is the first time in Greek literature that this word appears. Paul made it up. Theodidaktos.[2] It’s kinda like “Bussin” or “Snatched,” it’s made up to communicate something. Except God-taught is amazingly profound and unexpected.
Think about what we learn about love from Greek mythology. Not a lot. Instead, we see gods at war and spreading mass chaos. Here’s a small sample:
- Kronos swallowed up his children as soon as they were born so they wouldn’t have the chance to overpower him as they grew older and stronger.
- Zeus turned his first wife into a fly and ate her, chained Prometheus to a rock so an eagle could eat his liver, was consistently unfaithful to his wife, and turned one of his lovers into a cow to hide her from his wife.
- Athena, known as the wisest of the gods, turned Medusa into a snake-headed monster whose gaze turns people to stone because she was raped by Poseidon.
- Marduk, the god of storms and justice, in the Babylonian creation myth, created the world by defeating Tiamat, the primordial sea goddess, and then used her body to form the heavens, earth, and other elements of the cosmos.
In contrast to Greek mythology, it is amazing that we are “taught by God to love one another.” Greek mythology taught snubbing and brutal subjugation, Jesus taught sacrificial service. Greek mythology taught rape, Jesus taught appropriate restraint. Greek mythology taught lust, Jesus taught true love.
In contrast to the mythology of the time:
Jesus teaches us to Love
Once again, the Bible says we are “taught by God to love one another” (v. 9). The Bible doesn’t just say that God is loving, though it does say that. The Bible says much more. It says, “God is love” (1 Jn. 4:8, 16). Love is deeply connected to God’s very being. This sets the Christian God apart from all other views of God. For love to truly exist there must be relationship. The Bible teaches that God is a relational being to His core. God is triune.
Very briefly, “Trinity” means God is one in relation to His ontological being yet exists in three persons (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). The Trinity is unparalleled in the entire universe but is not a logical contradiction. This, in a way, should not be surprising to us because God is beyond our full comprehension. Although we cannot fully grasp what this means, we do know that God has for all eternity been in loving relationship. This means that because God is love, He cares about love and teaches us to love (1 Jn. 4:7).
What Mark Howell says here is spot on:
“In reality, God is the only One fully qualified to teach on the subject of love, because love would not exist without Him. He is its author. He is its commentator, because you would not know how to love without His instruction. So then, God not only teaches you about love, but He also teaches you how to love. Therefore, to begin any discussion on the subject oflove, the logical starting point must be with God Himself.”[3]
God is love and teaches us what love is. God is love and He teaches us how to love. God being love and Himself teaching us to love is unprecedented. The three-in-one nature of God shows us that He is relational, loving, self-giving, and personal to His core. God is not just some distant, cosmic force. He has personhood. He has existed in all eternity past in loving relationship, odd to say, with Himself. God amazingly calls us to join Him in relationship (John 17:21-23). He recreates us in His image and welcomes us as His sons and daughters. God welcomes us to have communion with Himself.
I love how 1 John 4 says it:
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us… 19 We love because He first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from Him: whoever loves God must also love his brother” (1 Jn. 4:7-12, 19-21).
Many of us were moved by seeing the sacrificial love of Tony Stark (Iron Man) in the Marvel movie, Avengers: Endgame, where he sacrifices himself to save the universe and his friends. Remember? After Thanos’s snap in Infinity War, the Avengers are devastated and the universe is in peril.
Despite Tony Stark’s initial reluctance, he chooses to use the Infinity Gauntlet to snap Thanos and the remaining half of the universe back, even though it means his own death. He utters the famous line, “I am Iron Man,” before snapping his fingers, saving the universe but giving up his own life.
There is a true story of overwhelming and powerful love, not in the Marvel universe, but in the real universe; and salvation comes not through Iron Man, but through Jesus, the God/man.
Tony Stark’s sacrifice is powerful but it’s not real. The thing is, Jesus and His sacrifice are real. The all-powerful, all-good, God who ruled the entire world, and upheld the very universe in which we live, move, and have our being, came into the world and was born in a pohick town, was mocked and ridiculed by His creation—like termites mocking the owner of the house—and Jesus died for those very same mocking termites. Of course, as Jesus’ biographies go on to say, Jesus didn’t stay dead, unlike Tony Stark. Jesus expressed His surpassing love through His sacrificial death and Heshowed His utter power by rising from the dead. So, Jesus beats both hate and death.
We started out by quoting the song, “What is love?” God not only knows the answer to that often confusing question and tells us the answer, but He Himself is the answer. This is love not that we loved God, but that He loved us and set His son to be the sacrifice to rescue us from the consequences of sin (1 John 4:10).
As the late great poets, DC Talk, said, “Love is a verb.” If you don’t remember what a verb is, I get it, but a verb is an action word. It doesn’t just sit on the couch. It doesn’t just talk. It gets up and does something. And God doesn’t just talk about His love for us. He demonstrates His love for us. God loves the world so much that He gave His Son. Because God is so loving He amazingly has made a way for us to be His friend. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).
But, the love of God does not stop with us. We are not to be a damn holding in God’s love. No. We are to be conduits through which God’s love flows freely. Jesus taught us how to love and He loves us, so we love.
Christian love turns the world upside down, it did in the first century and it will today. I don’t mean some undefined vague kind of love; I mean the Jesus kind of love. In this way, Christianity has always been subversive and disruptive.[4]
We must love
The Jesus followers Paul wrote to were already loving each other. Paul is sure that they had been God-taught. They practiced “brotherly love.” Again, not to ‘Greek out’ too much but the word for “brotherly love” here is philadelphia. It’s where the city, Philadelphia, gets it’s name. That’s why it’s known as “the city of brotherly love.” However, perhaps a better way to translate this word is “family affection.” The Jesus followers were God-taught and so clearly had healthy family affection for one another.
In the secular world of that time, the word for “family affection” (philadelphia) was only used for actual family relationships. It wasn’t used within religious groups. It was used to refer to love for one’s siblings. “In the New Testament, however, it is always used as it is here, of love between members of the Christian family (Rom 12:10; Heb 13:1; 1 Pet 1:22; 2 Pet 1:7).”[5]
As Jesus taught us in the model prayer, we are together to pray “our Father in heaven…” We don’t pray alone. We pray to our Father who we share. “The early Christians saw themselves as members of a family”[6] and we should too.
Paul told them, you are loving all the brothers and sisters throughout Macedonia. “But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more.”
When our kids were young and not yet talking we taught them how to communicate with sign language. Our son, Uriah, was sitting in the highchair and wanted more food (it was probably tomatoes based on how much he enjoys them now). So, he excitedly and quickly did all the signs he knew. He didn’t just do the sign for “more.” He almost did every sign he knew simultaneously because he wanted more so much. It reminds me of what Paul is doing here. He’s really passionate about us loving each other more and more. Why? Because God is loving and God Himself showed us how to love. It’s important. It’s worth getting excited about.
Brothers and sisters, if you are reading this and you have turned to Jesus for rescue and you’re following Him as your Boss and Lord, you have been God-taught to love. You must love. What God is saying to us is brothers and sisters, love more and more. And don’t just love in name only.
A deacon in a church who taught the kid’s Sunday school class had poured some concrete for the church… the next day he saw footprints in the concrete. He was very angry and talking very loudly. A man who was standing by said, “I thought you loved kids.” The deacon said, “I love them in the abstract but not in the concrete!”[7] We, however, must love not just in the abstract, but in and through the concrete things of life. It won’t always or ever be easy.
One of the reasons I believe in simple church is because love shines best in relationship. Church is not a building, it’s a body of people, made up of rich and poor, black and white, Jew and Gentile, coffee drinker and tea drinker, democrat and republican. If we are in Jesus, He is our elder brother, God is our Father, and the Holy Spirit is our ever-present Helper.
Church isn’t about entertainment or coffee. Jesus calls us out, out of the boat, off the couch, chair, or pew. Church is about loving Jesus, loving like Jesus, and sharing the life-transforming news of Jesus.
Church isn’t about some super-pastor it’s about the called-out people of God being the church in coffee shops, factories, schools, and offices. Light shines best when it’s not hidden in a building, salt is no good if it’s stuck in the shaker.
Conclusion
Our world is lonely but we have the love of God to share. Our world is isolated and alone but Jesus came to be with us. And brothers and sisters, Jesus said, “As the Father sent Me, in the same way, I am sending you” (John 20:21). As Jesus loved the sometimes unlovely, He calls us to do likewise. As Jesus went to the destitute and distraught, He calls us to do the same. We have been God-taught; as Jesus loves, we are to love.
“God’s own expression of his love resulted in his total self-giving in the person and death of his son. Christian expression of the same love must have the same self-giving quality.”
If we as Christians are God’s adopted children through Jesus, we must resemble our Father, we must be loving. And if we are His children, we must love one another. Beloved, guess what‽ The reality is, in Jesus we are family. So, as Paul said, let’s have family affection for one another, let’s love more and more. Now, as 1 Thessalonians 3:12 says, “May the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all.”
Notes
[1] As C.S. Lewis explains. He says, “There are 4 kinds of love, all good in their proper place.” First, there is “affection love.” This is the type of love that one has for family or familiar relationships. Second, there is “friendship love.” Third, there is “charity love.” This type of love is sacrificial and puts the interests of others first. A fourth would be “like” or “desire.” As we think about love, it is important that we keep these different kinds of ‘love’ in mind. I would like for English to have more options. It doesn’t seem correct that I’ve said, “I love Cinnamon Toast Crunch” and “I love my wife.” Hopefully I don’t love cereal and my wife in the same sense. Yet, I think the fact that in English the four words have been conflated into one word, communicates something.
[2] “‘Taught by God’ translates a single compound word (theodidaktoi). This is the only occurrence of the word in the New Testament and the earliest known occurrence in any body of Greek literature. It may well have been coined by Paul himself. The closest biblical phrase is in the LXX text of Isa 54:13 (quoted in John 6:45). It predicts a day when ‘all your sons will be taught by the Lord.’ A hallmark of the new covenant in the New Testament is the presence of the Spirit with each believer (Acts 2:16–18; Gal 4:6) and the resultant internal witness to the will of God (cf. Jer 31:34; Heb 8:10–11).” (D. Michael Martin, 1, 2 Thessalonians: An Exegetical and Theological Exposition of Holy Scripture).
[3] Mark Howell, Exalting Jesus in 1 & 2 Thessalonians.
[4] In his book Dominion, Tom Holland (not the Tom Holland from Spiderman) argues that the Christian concept of love, which he describes as a social practice rather than a feeling, has been a powerful force in shaping Western morality and the idea of universal human rights.
[5] D. Michael Martin, 1, 2 Thessalonians: An Exegetical and Theological Exposition of Holy Scripture. See alsoMichael W. Holmes, 1 and 2 Thessalonians.
[6] N. T. Wright, Paul for Everyone: Galatians and Thessalonians.
[7] J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible Vol. 49: The Epistles (1 and 2 Thessalonians).
*Photo by Ben Lambert
Confession Before A Christian Meal
When our church gathers, we always share a meal together. Sharing a meal follows the pattern of the early church and helps us cultivate hospitality and relationships; both of which are sorely lacking in our American culture. Before we eat, we share a confession to remind ourselves of the special significance of eating together.[1] Here are some of our past confessions:
“Let us say what we believe…
#1: Being the apprentices of someone who is sinless and who died for the sins of a sinful world, never promised to be easy or to fit nicely into the life we carved out for ourselves. Jesus says, “If you lose your life you will find it.” He doesn’t say, “Find a place to fit Me in.” But the reason Jesus so wants to explode our lives and the way of living is not because He is some monster that wants to ruin the good thing we have going. No! Jesus wants us to walk in the way of abundant, full flourishing, and eternal life. Jesus, as the way, the truth, and the life, knows how we ought to live, and wants us to walk that straight and narrow, beautifully righteous, road.
One of the things Jesus shows He values is eating with others, eating with friends and soon-to-be friends. We take time to eat and talk because Jesus did. We take time to love because Jesus did. So, as we eat and talk and love today, let’s seek to take time this week to do the same. As followers of Jesus, let’s follow Jesus.
#2: Messiah Jesus has called us together to be a people of purity in a land littered with porn, He has called us to be light in a world of darkness, salt in a world of decay, a harbor of hope in a world of hopelessness. He has called us to be His people of radical love in a world of hate. So, as we gather, may God gift us and grow us to that end. May God build us up as we are gathered and use us to bless this broken world as we scatter.
#3: Jesus’ Kingdom is made up of people from Sierra and Senegal, Armenia and America, China and Chad, Portugal and Pakistan, Mexico and Malaysia, and many many more. The reality is, in Christ, we are all one. Division is dead. We are united. So, we are to live together in purposeful unity. It will not be easy, but Jesus’ blood was spilled to welcome us into union with Him and each other. We should not disregard Jesus’ great sacrifice for us, instead, we must “make every effort to keep the unity” (Eph. 1:3).
#4: As we eat even a meager meal together it is significant. We testify to the truth of our unity in Jesus. We remember the relationship with God and each other that Jesus has welcomed us into at great cost to Himself. We remember the various people that Jesus ate with while He walked the earth—prostitutes, Pharisees, and frauds. He welcomed them, He welcomes us, and we are to welcome others. We also remember that soon we will eat with Jesus and with people from every tribe, language, nation, and tongue.
#5: We eat remembering the fellowship and love of the Trinity and we share together in that fellowship. We eat as an act of rebellion against the ways of the world. We eat as a tangible reminder of all we share. So, while we eat, let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding (Rom. 14:19).
#6: God gives the gift of rain and crop, He gives the gift of life, and breathe, and everything. Often we as humans fight over everything. But in a meal we share and partake together. We give grace and we receive grace. A meal is a teacher and a uniter. God cares about meals. As we eat, we remember and we are thankful that we are not in the final analysis independent, we are dependent, dependent on God and upon one another.
#7: Jesus’ posture on the cross is His posture towards us; His arms are open wide. Jesus says to everyone who is thirsty, “Come. Quench your thirst.” To everyone who is sick, Jesus says, “Come. Be healed.” To everyone who is lonely, Jesus says, “Come. Be loved.” Jesus welcomes us, so we welcome one another, and we welcome others. And as we eat now, we remember and celebrate the fellowship Jesus welcomes us into.
#8: When the church comes together, it’s a political rally. We testify and celebrate the reality that Jesus is King. Jesus reigns in goodness, justice, and power. And though we may not see it with physical eyes, we are a powerful group of people, because we are the LORD’s people, we are the church of God (Gal. 1:13; 1 Cor. 10:32, 15:9). We all together are in Christ. Our identity is new in Him; we are not the old people we used to be (2 Cor. 5:17), we are people who radically love, who radically give. We are in Jesus’ Kingdom and under His powerful and eternal reign. We can’t be hurt by the second death because we are more than conquerors and will celebrate at the marriage supper of the Lamb. So, even as we eat now, we testify to these realities. We remember and we rejoice.
#9: It is no light or flippant thing to gather with God’s saints. We celebrate and rejoice that we get to share this meal and time together. As Hebrew 10:24 says, we want to consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, we do not want to neglect meeting together, but instead intentionally encourage one another. So now, Father, may you build us up, and bless us so we can bless the broken world that needs to know the love of your Son, Jesus.
#10: We together give thanks to the LORD for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever (Ps. 136:1). We give thanks because the LORD is the giver of every good gift (James 1:17), the giver of life, breath, and everything (Acts 17:25). Our Lord gives food and friends to eat with. Therefore, as we come to eat together, we come with thankful hearts. Together we acknowledge God’s abundant goodness. As we eat, may we remember and teach ourselves and one another, that God is a God of extravagance and abundance; God has more grace, more love, and more pleasure in store, so may we likewise be lavish in our love for others.
[1] During the singing portion of our gathering, we sometimes confess one of the historic confessions (the Nicene Creed or Apostle’s Creed). I’ve thought about us systematically working through a confession but we haven’t done that yet.
Photo by Jaco Pretorius
Summary of Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Social Isolation Study
Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Social Isolation is a 2023 advisory report by U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. It highlights the widespread issue of loneliness and social isolation in the U.S. and its severe health consequences.
Scope of the Problem
The report highlights that loneliness and social isolation have become widespread in the U.S., affecting millions of people across all demographics.
- About one in two adults reports experiencing loneliness. Social isolation has increased due to shifts in how people interact, including greater reliance on technology and remote work.
- Young adults, older adults, and marginalized communities are particularly vulnerable.
Causes and Contributing Factors
- Decline in community participation (e.g., fewer people engaging in religious or civic groups).
- Remote work and digital communication reducing in-person interactions.
- Changes in family structures leading to fewer social connections.
- COVID-19 has had a substantial impact.
- Americans spend less time with friends and family than in previous decades.
Health Impacts
The report emphasizes that loneliness and social isolation are not just emotional struggles—they have serious consequences for physical and mental health, comparable to other well-known public health risks.
- Chronic loneliness increases the risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and anxiety.
- The health impact of lacking social connection is comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes per day.
- Social isolation raises the risk of premature death by 26-29%.
Solutions and Recommendations
The report outlines a six-pillar strategy to rebuild social connections and address the loneliness crisis:
1. Strengthen Social Infrastructure
- Invest in public spaces, community centers, and social programs that encourage connection.
2. Promote Pro-Social Public Policies
- Encourage workplace policies that support social well-being. Integrate social connection efforts into healthcare systems, such as screenings for loneliness.
3. Reduce Harmful Aspects of Technology
- Develop healthy digital habits.
4. Deepen Community Engagement
- Increase participation in local organizations, religious groups, and volunteer work**.
5. Equip the Public with Social Skills
- Teach social connection skills in schools and workplaces. Educate people about the importance of maintaining relationships for their well-being.
6. Make Social Connection a Public Health Priority
- Recognize loneliness as a public health crisis and fund research and initiatives.
Quotes from the Study
Social connection is a fundamental human need, as essential to survival as food, water, and shelter. (9)
Despite current advancements that now allow us to live without engaging with others (e.g., food delivery, automation, remote entertainment), our biological need to connect remains. (9)
The lack of social connection poses a significant risk for individual health and longevity. Loneliness and social isolation increase the risk for premature death by 26% and 29% respectively. More broadly, lacking social connection can increase the risk for premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.* In addition, poor or insufficient social connection is associated with increased risk of disease, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke. Furthermore, it is associated with increased risk for anxiety, depression, and dementia. Additionally, the lack of social connection may increase susceptibility to viruses and respiratory illness. (8)
Social connection is a significant predictor of longevity and better physical, cognitive, and mental health, while social isolation and loneliness are significant predictors of premature death and poor health. (23)
Substantial evidence also links social isolation and loneliness with accelerated cognitive decline and an increased risk of dementia in older adults, 10.41 including Alzheimer’s disease 63 Chronic loneliness and social isolation can increase the risk of developing dementia by approximately 50% in older adults, even after controlling for demographics and health status.41 A study that followed older adults over 12 years found that cognitive abilities declined 20% faster among those who reported loneliness. (28)
Evidence shows that being objectively isolated, or even the perception of isolation, can increase inflammation to the same degree as physical inactivity. (32)
Increased levels of social connection can improve various biomarkers of cardiovascular functioning, including blood pressure, cardiovascular reactivity, and oxidative stress. (32)
Loneliness… is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. (4)
Photo by Toa Heftiba
What if church aimed at something different?
What if church were different and aimed at something different? What if something radically different is needed, and needed right now? What if God is calling us to multiply movements, not names and brands? What if it’s about Jesus, His Kingdom, and the lost people He is calling, and not about a denomination or third-order doctrinal matters?[1] What if we need to focus on micro-movements and not mega organizations?
In the 2004 Olympics, Matt Emmons was way out in front. He had nearly clinched gold in the fifty meter, three position rifle final. All he had to do was hit the target. He didn’t have to get a bullseye; he just had to hit the target—something he could seemingly do with his eyes closed. He took aim, pulled the trigger, and hit the target. The only thing was, it was the wrong target.
He did not get gold that day. He didn’t get a metal. The only thing he got was disqualified. It’s possible to do a really good job, even the best job, and fail. If we aim at the wrong thing, we’re wrong even if we hit the target.
What if we have been aiming at the wrong target? The Apostle Paul, referring to Christian ministry, says, “Let each one take care how he builds” (1 Cor. 3:10). We must be intentional and aim well.
What if the modern church has often listened to business wisdom instead of biblical wisdom? What if we have built on a different foundation than the one the Bible commends to us? What if the church has cared too much about the esteem of man, and Christ and His word have fallen in our esteem?
We easily prize and prioritize the wrong things. We listen to the wrong voices and value and build the wrong things. Jesus wants us to listen to Him, value the Kingdom, and be about the Kingdom. Several years ago Kent Hughes wrote Liberating Ministry from the Success Syndrome. He says true success in ministry is not measured by worldly metrics like numbers or popularity. The book emphasizes the importance of focusing on the spiritual well-being and transformation of individuals rather than solely chasing large congregations.
What if we’ve been aiming at a good social media presence when what we need is actual presence? What we need is not pastors who look good, but who are good. What if we’ve unknowingly been capitulating to the culture and bought into a coy lie?
What if “butts in seats” is not what we should be aiming for but feet on mission? What if mega comfortable, convenient, and cool is the wrong target, so even if we hit it we’re liable to be disqualified? Again, we must “build with care” (1 Cor. 3:10). What if we’re building with straw and the End will disclose the futility of our efforts? (1 Cor. 3:12-13)
If disciples are what our Lord delights in, and disciples endure the Day, then that must be our aim. We must aim and build differently. Buildings and brands are not the goal; a band of radical Jesus followers is; that’s who turned the world upside down in the beginning (and without a budget).
Fruitfulness is faithful disciples. We must work like Jesus and Paul did. And we must create contexts most likely to produce faithful followers, not fans.
What if we had deep instead of surface relationships, discipled instead of entertained, and emphasized the church body instead of the building? What if we were intergenerational instead of isolating, cared about character instead of charisma, and emphasized the ministry of people instead of “superpastors”? What if pastors deeply knew people, we were authentic instead of artificial, and simple instead of complex?
What if churches were co-laborers instead of competitors? What if churches were closer to the biblical ideal and cared more about the Kingdom and less about their brand? What if the renown and reputation of Jesus was the all-consuming focus? What if we all said, “May Jesus increase, and I decrease?” What if pastors sought to “put themselves out of business”?
What if the church sought to be the church, not just go to church? What if the church didn’t just care about orthodoxy but cared about orthopraxy, too? That is, what if people didn’t just know how to define love or find verses about it in the Bible, but radically loved all those they came in contact with. What if churches were appealing, not mainly because of their architecture, programming, and hipness, but because Jesus’ love radiated out of them‽ What if the world was turned upside-down—in the best of ways—not by moralism, music, and monologues from the stage, but people loving Jesus and other people in real life?
My proposal for the church is: let’s be different. Let’s do these things. Let’s radically love Jesus and others and let the chips fall where they may. Everything else is stubble and dross. Brands will fade, buildings will burn, but souls and our Savior are forever.
Notes
[1] Sadly, some people seem more anxious to convert people to their peculiarities, than to convert souls to Christ (Iain H. Murray, Pentecost Today?, 151).
Reviving Church Connection: From Handshakes to Heartfelt Relationships
What if church were different? What if we had deep instead of surface relationships?
Relationships have always been important because we are relational beings made in the image of the relational triune God. Yet, sadly, people are more relationally disconnected than ever—honestly, likely more relationally disconnected than at any other point in history.
Various studies bear out the problems of our epidemic of loneliness and isolation. “All Americans (both young adults and older adults) have fewer social relationships than their parents and grandparents did.”[1] Yet, Vivek H. Murthy, the United States Surgeon General, has said, “People with strong social relationships are 50 percent less likely to die prematurely than people with weak social relationships… weak social connections can be a significant danger to our health.”
A study by the Surgeon General’s Advisory team, titled “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” found that loneliness is prevalent today and surprisingly harmful. It is “associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.”[3]
Murthy points out that “Social connection stands out as a largely unrecognized and underappreciated force for addressing many of the critical problems we’re dealing with, both as individuals and as a society. Overcoming loneliness and building a more connected future is an urgent mission that we can and must tackle together.”[4] This is an opportunity and exhortation to the Church.
Relationships are important. As the Cheers theme song says:
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.
Relationship, strangely, is something that the church seems to have forgotten about. It’s something, however, that Starbucks and Alcoholics Anonymous have picked up on.
The thing that kept me sober until I got a grip on honesty was the love in the room of Alcoholics Anonymous. I made some friends for the first time in my life. Real friends that cared, even when I was broke and feeling desperate.
The body of Christ should be more affectionate and welcoming than any A.A. meeting or coffee shop.[5]
Secular research tells us we need each other. Experience tells us we need each other. The Bible tells us we need each other. We need each other![6] The secular world in many ways has seen this and the Bible has long since told us. It reminds us that a cord of three strands is not easily broken (Eccl. 4:12). We need the body of Christ to be the body of Christ. We need vital connection, not mere contact.
Many “one another” passages can only be carried out in small familiar settings. A small, simple church allows the benefit of practicing all the various aspects of life together. It gives us a setting to honor one another (Rom. 12:10), accept one another (Rom. 15:7), bear with one another (Eph. 4:2; Col. 3:13), forgive one another (Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13), pray for and confess sins to one another (James 5:16), cheer and challenge one another (Heb. 3:13; 10:24-25), admonish and confront one another (Rom. 15:14; Col. 3:16; Gal. 6:1-6), warn one another (1 Thess. 5:14), teach one another (Col. 3:16), be real and honest with one another (Gal. 5:15; Rom. 12:9), bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), share possessions with one another (Acts 4:32; Gal. 6:10), and submit to one another (Eph. 5:21).[7]
We need actual relationships instead of handshakes. It is vital and commanded that Christians practice the “one another” passages. Perseverance is a community endeavor. It is imperative for people’s health and the health of the church that people are connected, vitally connected, not merely attending. “Going to church” is not biblical, being the church is.
In order to cultivate deep relationships, what if we had real food and fellowship instead of a handshake? Churches often have a time where you shake people’s hands and say, “Hi.” But, week after week, it becomes an empty expression when nothing more results. Empty platitudes are empty. What if we go to the early church model, and have a meal together every week (Acts 2:46; 20:11; 1 Cor. 11:20-34; Jude 12)?[8]
What if the church leaned into loving relationships and invested time and money to help relationships form? “The church may never outperform TV shows and music videos, but there is nothing like the community life of the church. There is nowhere else where diverse people come together in the same way. There is nowhere else where broken people find a home. There is nowhere else where grace is experienced and God is present by his Spirit.”[9]
What if we practiced hospitality instead of hiding? One of the qualifications for pastors is that they “be hospitable” (1 Tim. 3:2). Pastors were known and knew people, they didn’t hide. And they set the expectations for the rest of the church body. “Some theologians go so far as to state that the growth in the earliest churches was wholly dependent on the meals and hospitality of the believers.”[10] It is imperative for the church’s witness and health that we move from handshakes to heartfelt relationships.
Notes
[1] Allen, Lawton, and Seibel, Intergenerational Christian Formation, 54.
[2] Murthy, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, 13. “Religious communities offer not only social support but also purpose, hope, and meaning” and it has been found that religious community is more beneficial for preventing suicide and mortality than other forms of social support (Tyler J. VanderWeele, “Deaths of Despair and the Role of Religion”).
[3] Office of the Surgeon General, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community, 4. “The lack of social connection poses a significant risk for individual health and longevity. Loneliness and social isolation increase the risk for premature death by 26% and 29% respectively. More broadly, lacking social connection can increase the risk for premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.* In addition, poor or insufficient social connection is associated with increased risk of disease, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke. Furthermore, it is associated with increased risk for anxiety, depression, and dementia. Additionally, the lack of social connection may increase susceptibility to viruses and respiratory illness” (Ibid., 8).
[4] Murthy, Together, xxvi.
[5] In passages like Philippians 2:25-26 and 1 Thessalonians 3:6-13, we read about the authentic relationships of the church and the concern that the church had for one another. Paul says that Epaphroditus has been longing for the Philippian church, and the Philippian church was distressed because they heard he was sick. They had the opposite of social isolation, they had social affirmation; instead of loneliness, they had a family of love.
[6] “While relationships with others are something we do, it is also true that relationships are what we are. We are what our history of relationships has built into us. We need social relationships like the body needs oxygen, but also like stone needs a sculptor to become a work of art (good or bad). We cannot become healthy adult persons without relationships. To flourish and to mature into persons of wisdom and Christian virtue, we need the shaping that comes with the best sorts of human relationships… Whatever we become or are becoming is a matter of both us and others – our actions and others’ responses, and our responses to others’ actions” (Brown, Warren S.; Strawn, Brad D., The Physical Nature of Christian Life (Cambridge University Press: Kindle Edition, 2012), 72-73).
[7] Also, remember, the book of Hebrews says to consider, that is, think about how to stir, spur, or motivate one another toward love and good works (Heb. 10:24). A “spur” is “a pointed device or sharp spiked wheel fixed to the heel of a rider’s boot to enable him to urge his horse on.” We are supposed to serve as a spur in one another’s lives. We are to be a goad. We are to incite action. We are to be a stimulus for change. We are to give incentive, inducement, and provocation. We are supposed to provoke, stimulate, impel, and inspire each other. This happens best in small relational settings where people are actually known. Most churches realize that “transformation happens best in community,” if that’s the case, why not capitalize on community contexts‽ Romans 14:19 says “Let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” Scripture exhorts us to intentionally pursue mutual upbuilding. Paul tells Timothy to “flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart” (2 Tim. 2:22). Is Timothy supposed to do this all by himself? No! It says “Along with those…” From the above verses, and many we did not look at, we see the practical, life-protecting, importance of being connected to Christ’s body in an intentional community.
[8] This was known as a “love feast.”
[9] Tim Chester and Steve Timmis, Everyday Church: Gospel Communities on Mission, 56.
[10] Verlon Fosner, Dinner Church, 24. “If you are looking for ways to evangelize, opening your home is one of the best methods of reaching unbelievers” (Alexander Strauch, Leading with Love, 102.
“Be kind to one another”
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31–32).
There is a right way and a wrong way to live. That is not popular to say but it is the undiluted truth. The right way is in accord with “the way [we] learned Christ” (Eph. 4:20). The wrong way to live involves “hardness of heart” (Eph. 4:18), callousness (Eph. 4:19), and corruption through deceitful desires (Eph. 4:22).
So, there are certain things we should not do. There is a wrong way to live and act. It is damaging and even devilish (James 3:15).
Therefore, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” We should not be resentful. Sinful anger should have no place in our lives. Foolish arguments should never be heard to come from our mouths. We should never speak wrong of others. How can we try to tarnish a person made in God’s image (James 3:9)?! Lastly, how can we have ill-will for someone when God the Son paid the ultimate price for us?! How can we not be transformed by our heavenly Father’s sacrificial love so that we extend grace and love even to our enemies?!
in X 