The Problem and Prevalence of Narcissism in the Church
The problem of selfishness and self-aggrandizement has always been a problem. Now, however, social media[1] and church structures add to the prevalence of the problem. In fact, self-aggrandizement is often incentivized. In great contrast to Jesus, “Ministry leaders and churches today are obsessively preoccupied with their reputation, influence, success, rightness, progressiveness, relevance, platform, affirmation, and power.”[2]
Christian leaders are often selected based on their charisma and ability to attract a large following.[3] A narcissistic personality can easily be interpreted as pastoral giftedness, a personality well-suited to lead a large church.[4] A narcissistic person is set up well to succeed in today’s church. They can charm, seem superior, and come off as an all-around exceptional person. “They have an almost desperate need to be seen.”[5] This bodes well for churches saturated in social media.
Paul David Tripp gives an important warning in his book, Lead: 12 Gospel Principles for Leadership in the Church:
A leader whose heart has been captured by other things doesn’t forsake ministry to pursue those other things; he uses ministry position, power, authority, and trust to get those things. Every leadership community needs to understand that ministry can be the vehicle for pursuing a whole host of idolatries.
Sadly, the structures we build in the church can foster narcissism’s unchecked growth. It’s problematic when Jesus’ character is not the measurement of success. Instead, the narcissistic profile of grandiosity, entitlement, and absence of empathy becomes the pattern of a good leader. Is it any wonder we have so many pastoral problems and people deconstructing?
Ministry growth, fame, and money are often seen as proof of God’s presence and work. But if that’s true, then Jesus Himself was a failure. He gave up power and riches. He didn’t pursue them. God’s presence isn’t found in power and fame. And His blessing isn’t necessarily found there either. What we should look for in leaders is godly character and fruit—like the fruits of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.[6]
The abandonment of the humble way of Jesus is not the way to please Jesus. Philippians 2:5-8 says,
Have this mind among yourselves that is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
It would probably be good here to share a modern paraphrase of all of Matthew 23, but instead, I will share just verses 11-12: “The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” Or, here’s John 13:14-15: “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.”
Selfishness and self-aggrandizement are not the way of the Savior. And should not be the way of His church or under-shepherds. Success should be measured by our likeness to Jesus and in our ability to make disciples like Jesus who, in turn, make other disciples like Jesus. In general, across the board, studies bear out bad results about churches making disciples.[7]
In a narcissistic ministry, however, the leader is especially geared towards making acolytes of themselves rather than disciples of Jesus. The leaders may not realize it, but real-life, gritty, and sacrificial discipleship may not even be on the ministerial map. Instead of equipping the saints for the work of the ministry, it’s easy to create a whole host of fans who cheer from the sidelines.
Some Characteristics of a Narcissistic Ministry
First, “The narcissistic system parades its specialness… Who would dare question God’s work?”[8] And, because the mission is so special, certain staff members are asked to make large sacrifices with little or no remuneration. The special work that the ministry is doing is reason to give and serve sacrificially.[9]
Second, “The system often compares itself to others and finds others wanting.”[10] People are led to believe “the church down the block isn’t as blessed, special, or faithful. A collective sense of grandiosity is common in these situations.”[11] This belittles Jesus’ Kingdom and is counteractive to the unity for which Jesus prayed, died, and will finally obtain. It can also blind the church from the log in its eye when they are critical of the speck in a different ministry (Matt. 7:3-5).
Third, because the church is doing such “amazing work,” you can’t question it. It’s seen as obviously bad to question the vine when the fruit seems to speak for itself.
Loyalty to Christ and loyalty to the founding pastor’s vision can get muddled. This is especially true if the pastor says that his own vision is Christ’s—that God directly told him what the church should do next regarding its building, outreach, or finances. Elders or lay leaders who question those decisions are setting themselves up to question God. And who wants to look like they’re questioning God? Especially when following the pastor’s/God’s vision has led to enormous growth, souls saved, lives changed, and communities transformed, and when other churches are looking to your church as the ultimate success story.[12]
It is therefore easy for those who are drawn into the gravitational pull of narcissism to enable the narcissist by letting him off the hook for his behavior.[13] After all, they’re doing so much for the church.[14]
So, ultimately, those who don’t toe the line and “refuse to idealize the leader are chewed up and spit out.”[15] This is obviously dangerous for all sorts of reasons. For one, feedback is not given, or at least, not honestly.[16] Individuals tend to favor the most favorable interpretation, disregarding potential inconsistencies and downplaying minor relational transgressions. They conveniently dismiss reservations about the leader. That “is why many who get close to the epicenter of leadership either forfeit their integrity or resign.”[17]
Mark Driscoll, the former pastor of Mars Hill Church, infamously said, “There is a pile of dead bodies behind the Mars Hill bus, and by the grace of God it will be a mountain by the time we’re done. You either get on the bus or you get run over by the bus, those are the two options, but the bus ain’t stopping.” The person driving the bus, however, is Mark Driscoll himself, and it is his mission and his brand that have become central, and people must serve his agenda or be fired.
The LORD, the Good Shepherd, will not stand for such abuse of His blood-bought sheep. “Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will require my sheep at their hand” (Ezek. 34:10). He says, “Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep” (Jer. 23:1). Again He says, “Wail, you shepherds, and cry out… No refuge will remain for the shepherds” (Jer. 25:34, 35).
Faithful pastors won’t stand for the mistreatment of sheep or fellow pastors. Instead, they, like the Good Shepherd, will willingly lay their job, title, and life down for the good of the sheep (Jn. 10:11-18). Faithful pastors will stand their ground and guard the sheep, come what may.
Fourth, narcissistic leaders might bring church growth, but not all growth is healthy. Cancer can cause quick growth. So, anxious churches driven by narcissistic pastors may grow numerically, but healthy churches flourish. We should not mistake numerical growth for flourishing.[18] Especially when Jesus has called us to make disciples, and not fans who sit on chairs.
Fifth, and we have already touched on this, but it’s important to make it explicit: there is a lot of incentive for the narcissistic pastor and ministry to conceal the narcissism. People might say, “he has a few rough edges,” “we all make mistakes,” or “she’s just passionate.” For all of these reasons, “for those hurt by a narcissistic pastor, the pathways to justice may be few.”[19] People believe the gifted pastor over and above anyone else.
A Few of the Problems with Narcissism
The problem with narcissism in the church is that narcissism has no place in the church, or at least, unrepentant narcissism. I realize we’re all in process. And yes, there should be an appropriate self-love. To that I agree. But unrestrained and uncontained narcissism is not in alignment with the Lord Jesus, who came as a servant.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.
Narcissistic pastors, knowing what they know about the christian ethic, must walk the fine line between supposed omnipotence and feigned humility. “He wants you to see that he is the best and brightest, but he wants you to think he is a humble servant of the Lord. He speaks of justice, of faithfulness, of humility, but he longs to be the center of attention, where his need to be special is affirmed.”[20]
From a biblical perspective, narcissism stems from pride, which Scripture identifies as sin. Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble” (James 4:6). Scripture warns that where there is pride, there will be destruction (Prov. 11:2; 16:18).
Narcissists also struggle with empathy because of their self-centeredness, which directly contradicts the Bible. Scripture commands believers to “look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Phil. 2:4), a directive narcissists routinely disobey. Christians are called to esteem others more highly than themselves and to serve others in love—the exact opposite of narcissistic behavior.[21]
Two characteristics of narcissism are jealousy and selfish ambition, these the letter of James says, are earthly, natural, and demonic, and thus are clearly not in alignment with followers of Jesus. It’s also very problematic because where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing (James 3:14-16). As many stories demonstrate (Mark Driscoll, James MacDonald, Ravi Zacharias, etc.). In contrast, “the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere” (v. 17). Note that last part, wisdom from above is “always sincere.”
The Christian leader’s job is not to put on a show, especially a show featuring themselves; it is to equip the saints for the work of the ministry. It’s not to attract a crowd, build a big modern church, or build their ministry; no, it’s to equip others for ministry. The narcissist is well equipped to be on the stage, put on a performance, and attract a following, but isn’t as good at stepping out of the limelight and sending and supporting others to flourish in their gifts.
The problem with narcissism is it’s not the way of Jesus and His church. It ends up being a rival faction, a monster with a protruding head. Jesus is the actual head of the church, but churches with narcissistic leaders and systems betray that reality and picture a grotesque copy of Jesus’ actual ideal. One in which a man (or woman) has set up a thiefdom and subtly robs the real King of the glory due only to Him, and robs laborers who would have otherwise labored in the harvest to build the King’s Kingdom are now enlisted to build the narcissistic leader’s little hobby town.[22]
Conclusion
Churches, especially modern churches, incentivize building a brand and putting the pastor’s name (read “gifted speaker”) in lights. But this is not the way of Jesus. The way of Jesus is humble equipping and discipling. It’s authentic, not artificial. It builds a blood, sweat, and tears army ready to give their life in love for the world; not fans who like the funny stories and music. Narcissism is not just nauseating because of the failure of leadership, the eventual church fallout, but also because of the malformation of disciples of Jesus. Narcissism is a cancerous cell that replicates and contaminates.
Notes
[1] Sadly, people can “use their congregations to validate a sense of identity and worth. The church becomes an extension of the narcissistic ego, and its ups and downs lead to seasons of ego inflation and ego deflation for the pastor. Today socialmedia platforms add to this mix. Because his sense of identity is bound up in external realities, his sense of mission is wavering and unmoored, often manifesting in constantly shifting visions and programs, frequent dissatisfaction with the status quo, and anxious engagement with staff and members.” (Chuck DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.
[2] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[3] We often tend to select leaders in the Christian world according to their gifts rather than their character. We see gifts and assume the leader’s character matches the image they project (Diane Langberg, When the Church Harms God’s People).
[4] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[5] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church. “If ministry leadership is your identity, then Christ isn’t… Ministry leadership identity produces fear and anxiety and will never produce the humility and courage that come with identity in Christ. Looking horizontally, as a leader, for your identity, meaning, purpose, and internal sense of well-being asks people, places, and position to do for you what only your Messiah can do. This will produce either pride in success or fear of failure but never the kind of humility and courage of heart that results in humble, willing, confessing approachability.Ministry as a source of identity will never result in healthy gospel-shaped relationships in your leadership community, the kind of relationships in which candor is encouraged, confession is greeted with grace, and bonds of love, appreciation, affection, understanding, and respect grow strong” (Paul David Tripp, Lead, 156).
[6] See Diane Langberg, When the Church Harms God’s People.
[7] “Only 8% of U.S. Protestant pastors are extremely satisfied with discipleship in their church” (“Few Pastors Believe Discipleship Tops Their Churches’ Efforts” based on studies from “The State of Discipleship” https://research.lifeway.com/state-of-discipleship/).
[8] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[9] Even though the sacrifice is about the “name brand church” which is closely connected to the lead pastor’s name and reputation, and not mainly about Jesus’ Kingdom. Of course, “Sacricice and devotion are part and pacel of the Christian life. Jesus said, “Whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (Matt. 16:25). But when the call to sacrifice is set in a context like Willow Creek and other dynamic churches, it’s not always clear whether members are being called to sacrifice for Christ or for the church and its programs” (Katelyn Beaty, Celebrates for Jesus: How Personas, Platforms, and Profits are Hurting the Church).
[10] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[11] Ibid.
[12] Katelyn Beaty, Celebrates for Jesus.
[13] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[14] How sad that “We ignore and cover up that for which he bears nail scars, all the while using his name to sanction our deeds. When evil is discovered, our response too often is to hide misdeeds in the name of protecting the reputation of the church.” (Langberg, When the Church Harms God’s People).
[15] DeGroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
[16] This is in part because “when the narcissistic leader is under attack, his response is defensiveness and a victim complex” (Ibid.). “Those affected by narcissism’s bite were led to believe it was their fault—a lack of humility, a failure to submit. Systems of power and wealth that fostered abuse” (Ibid.). “Entitled pastors snap when pricked, however. Even the smallest pinprick of challenge or concern from another leads to defensiveness and self-protective strategies” (Ibid.).
[17] Ibid.
[18] Ibid.
[19] Ibid.
[20] “Narcissistic pastors walk the fine line of omnipotence and feigned humility. He wants you to see that he is the best and brightest, but he wants you to think he is a humble servant of the Lord. He speaks of justice, of faithfulness, of humility, but he longs to be the center of attention, where his need to be special is affirmed.” (Ibid.).
[21] R. K. Bufford, “Narcissism,” in New Dictionary of Christian Apologetics, ed. Campbell Campbell-Jack and Gavin J. McGrath (Leicester, England: Inter-Varsity Press, 2006), 472.
[22] Jesus is about His Kingdom and His reign being realized in the hearts, hands, and heads of all people, regardless of their organizational affiliation. We get messed up messing around with a lesser leader’s little project. King Jesus is often working in the margins with the low and humble. The sad reality is, “Christendom’s institutional priorities often have nothing to do with, and may be antithetical to, following Jesus” (Langberg, When the Church Harms God’s People).
The Solution for Church Decline is Getting Back to the Simple Center
The solution for church decline is not more of the same, and it’s not mega church. The solution, first and foremost, is a work of the Spirit, but the Spirit uses means. One of the means the Spirit has used in the past is reformation. I don’t quite have 95 Theses, but I do have some serious concerns and believe there’s a need for reformation.
The Spirit worked and brought reformation through Martin Luther at the time of the Reformation. And John Wesley worked by the power of the Spirit to bring about the reformation of the church of England. In both cases, something new was the result: a formation rather than a reformation, because in those two instances, the church would not reform.
I think the church has been missing the main thing for a long time. As the song “The Heart of Worship” by Matt Redman says,
I’m comin’ back to the heart of worship
And it’s all about You
It’s all about You, Jesus…
I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it
When it’s all about You
It’s all about You, Jesus
Evaluation & Examination
We need to evaluate what we see as success and examine what Scripture says on this matter. What is our aim and why? If our desire is for our church to become a bigger and bigger name-brand church and for success for “our” church, we’re missing it.[1] Many churches’ articulation of their mission is very similar—something like, “To lead people to become fully devoted followers of Christ.”However, their pathway to practicing their own priorities is often hindered by the very structures they’ve built and the goals they strive for in practice.
Most churches base their mission statements around the Great Commission (Matt. 28:19-20). Which is great. “Go,” however, is often translated as “come” or “bring people to church.” And “Make disciples” is translated to mean “have classes within the confines of the church.” “Observe everything I have commanded you” is often translated “know everything about everything.”
So, what is the solution to church decline? First, we must have a healthy evaluation of what the goal is or what we’re aiming for. Is our desire to be the biggest and baddest (in the slang positive sense) church? The world’s most theologically astute, correct, and pure church? What is our aim? Is our goal really to make disciples? If so, are we doing it?
Disciples are not like widgets on an assembly line. They can’t be mass-produced or microwaved.[2] They need to be walked with and experience lived discipleship. Many times in church, we’re content with the equivalent of Jar Jar Binks, but Jesus wants to build an army of Jedi. As has been said, “Slow is the new fast.” Jedi’s may take lots of time to develop, but they’re a lot more effective at defeating the dark side.
The prevailing discipleship model reminds me of “meat chickens.” They’re bred to grow extremely fast. They’re engineered to reach full size in just a few weeks. On the outside, they look a lot like normal chickens. But there’s a cost—most of them can’t stand on their legs. They’re not what they were designed to be and can’t do what they were designed to do. They just consume and get consumed. Disciples were never meant to be just consumers. Disciples were meant to be lovingly deployed in the places where they work, live, and play.
We must examine Scripture and evaluate if our current practices are best in line with the values of Scripture. For example, elsewhere in looking at the “one another” passages in the Bible, I propose we make changes and make it incredibly difficult for people to be passive observers of church. I also propose we shift from a “come and see” church model to a “go and tell” church model.
I believe the very structure of church that has become sacrosanct is liable to suffocate the very soul of the church. Church is not a building. Church is not a business. Church is not something you go to for one hour once a week for a service or “worship experience.”
Church is a body of people who are called and commanded to be allegiant to Jesus with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. Church is not about going to a service. It’s more about serving Jesus in a world that needs to know Him. It’s about loving Jesus and loving like Jesus and regularly gathering with the saints to be better equipped and better able to do what Jesus has called us to do.
Sometimes the structure, amenities, entertainment, and desire for and near perfection of the church service, communicate church is a lot more about people being comfortable, than about following the crucified and reigning Christ. The saying, “The medium is the message,” emphasizes that the characteristics of the communication channel play a significant role in shaping how a message is perceived and understood compared to its specific content. This concept was popularized by media theorist Marshall McLuhan. He argued that the medium by which the message is delivered influences our perceptions, thoughts, and social structures more profoundly than the information it conveys.
The medium isn’t just a neutral container for information; it actively shapes the message and its impact. McLuhan argued that the medium’s effects on our society, culture, and individual psyches are more significant than the specific content it transmits. The medium by which something is communicated is not neutral. The medium itself has an impact beyond the specific content it conveys.
So, when the church gathers in a near-perfect setting with amazing music and speaking, it has an impact beyond the message that is shared in the service. The setting, structure, and the whole of the service (the medium) can often contradict the very message that is shared. When everything is structured to serve and cater to the spectators, it contradicts what Scripture says; that we are to “offer our bodies as living sacrifices” (Rom. 12:1). Is it then any wonder that we have 10% of people in the church doing 100% of the work of the church?
Deconstruction & Reformation
Like it or not, as leaders responsible for our times, we simply have to be willing to submit the inherited ecclesial system to a thoroughgoing audit. We have to accept that what has got us to this point in history—which is now long-term trended decline in every setting in the West—will simply not get us to a viable future. We can no longer allow ourselves to act as if more of the same thinking and doing is going to bring about fundamentally different results. As the ever-insightful Albert Einstein noted, the problems of the world cannot be resolved by the same kind of thinking that created those problems in the first place.[3]
There is a need for the deconstruction of some things within the church and reformation by the Spirit. I believe it is for good reason that many people find the prevailing church model irrelevant. Of course, we should never bow to culture, but culture can give insights into things that we may be blind to. The sheer number of people who have deconstructed should perhaps make us consider whether there are things in church that should be deconstructed. Unnecessary things in church are unnecessary, and sometimes those things have been exalted to near-sacred status.[4]
The church is still and always in need of reformation (Semper Reformanda). “We must learn to be suspicious of our cultural assumptions and be willing to take a scalpel to the cultural forms that have built up around our Christian beliefs.”[5] As Francis Asbury said, “At the Reformation, the reformers only beat off part of the rubbish.”[6]
Semper Reformanda is not just for the 1500s. It’s something for now. And as Asbury and others have pointed out, the previous reformations didn’t take things quite far enough. We need an ecclesiological and missiological reformation. We must look at the mirror of God’s word and see the church for what it is and make the needed adjustments. This is not idealism, it’s sacrificial faithfulness.
Much of the trellis needs to be trimmed for us to have a healthy vine. For too long, the trellis—the structures and systems, buildings and branding—has been what we have given our attention to. And it is becoming unwieldy. If we are to put the attention on the fruit of the vine, we need to give up much of the trellis. The branches themselves need pruning, but many are not even willing to trim any part of the trellis. Some of our physical buildings and organizational structures should be considered for the chopping block.
As Alan Hirsch often says, “‘We are perfectly designed to produce what we are currently producing.’ What we are seeing should not surprise us. Rather, we should redesign the system to produce different outcomes.”[7]
Implementation & Demonstration
We need the implementation of different healthy church structures and the demonstration that these new structures work to form faithful followers of Jesus. A new trellis for a new and healthier vine. There are already faithful “tests of concept.”[8]
The explosive early church is the first successful test of concept, but we see various modern examples. We see it in the underground church in China, North Korea, and parts of the Middle East. We’re also seeing the beginning of microchurch movements in parts of the USA.[9]
If the current model is not the answer, where is the counter model? Who will pick up the shovel and build with me? Who will reconstruct from the wreckage? Who will sacrifice and even step off staff, if necessary? If the ship is sinking, who is going to swim and salvage what you can?
What if churches had deep instead of surface relationships, discipled instead of entertained, and emphasized the church body instead of the building? What if we were intergenerational instead of isolating, cared about character instead of charisma, and emphasized the ministry of people instead of “superpastors”? What if pastors deeply knew people, we were authentic instead of artificial, and simple instead of complex?
What if churches were co-laborers instead of competitors? What if every person used their gifts where they work, live, and play, and it wasn’t just about the “professionals” standing on the stage?
The desire and what we strive for is to activate every disciple’s latent potential and produce healthy disciples, multiplying microchurches, hubs, and networks. Is this happening? It is in places, and the seed is sprouting in mid-Ohio. Farming, like Christian leadership, takes time, lots of work, and lots of reliance on God.
This is some of how we’re building authentic, simple, replicable, relational microchurches all built on the essential foundation of the Lord Jesus:
- Deep Relationships: Move beyond surface-level interactions to genuine, heartfelt connections where we know and care for one another. This includes practicing the “one another” passages of Scripture, such as bearing burdens, forgiving, encouraging, and praying for one another.
- Intergenerational Community: Integrate people of all ages to foster mutual learning, encouragement, and faith formation. Older Christians mentoring younger ones, while younger members bring fresh perspectives and energy.
- Shared Meals and Fellowship: Regularly gather for meals to cultivate hospitality, build relationships, and create a sense of family. This practice mirrors the early church’s “breaking of bread” and love feasts.
- Relational Evangelism: Focus on sharing the gospel through authentic relationships rather than relying solely on church invitations, programs, and church services. Christians are encouraged and equipped to live missionally in their daily lives.
- Hospitality: Open homes and hearts to welcome others, creating a culture of generosity and inclusion. Hospitality is seen as a vital expression of Christian love and a powerful evangelistic tool.
- Mutual Ministry: Empower all members of the church to use their spiritual gifts for the common good, rather than relying on a “superpastor” or professional clergy. This reflects the biblical concept of the priesthood of all believers.
- Authenticity Over Artificiality: Create space where people can be honest about their struggles and joys, avoiding curated or staged experiences. The church should be a “hospital” for the broken, not a “beauty pageant.”
- Unity and Collaboration: Foster unity within the church and across churches, focusing on Kingdom growth rather than competition. Members should work together to advance the gospel and support one another.
- Biblical Practices: Ground the community in Scripture, including regular prayer, teaching, singing, and celebrating the Lord’s Supper. These practices help the church remain spiritually rooted and focused on Christ.
- Missional Living: Encourage and equip the church to live out their faith in the places they work, live, and play. The church is seen as a body that gathers to be built up and scatters to bless.
These elements aim to create a church community that is relationally connected, spiritually vibrant, and missionally engaged, reflecting the biblical ideal of the body of Christ, house to house, city to city, and nation to nation.
Notes
[1] Paul’s consuming desire was that Jesus be preached. He wasn’t about his name in lights or about building a brand. Paul said, “Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice,” (Phil. 1:18). It often seems the desire of the church leadership is for the growth of the church, but not the growth of the disciples in the church. We make fans and spectators, not players on the field and soldiers (Contra 2 Tim.2:1-10). Jesus’ expectation, in contrast, is that people would stop following Him because it was so hard (Jn. 6:67). Jesus didn’t pamper or pander to people, Jesus laid out the bare excruciating reality of what it means to follow Him (Matt. 16:24). Jesus also knew the high cost of following Him was abundantly worth it (Matt. 16:25).
[2] Brad Brisco shares about repeatedly seeing an ad on his social media feed titled “Double Your Church in 90 Days.” Here’s Brisco’s reflection: “While it may sound appealing, it reflects a very problematic mindset. It reduces the church to numbers, promotes short-term thinking, and pressures leaders with unrealistic expectations. Kingdom growth is Spirit-led, highly contextual, and often slow; measured not simply by attendance, but by transformed lives and faithful presence. Discipleship can’t be microwaved.”
[3] Alan Hirsch, 5Q: Reactivating the Original Intelligence and Capacity of the Body of Christ.
[4] I do believe there is an ecclesiological minimum and that churches must at least obtain that minimum. Qualified leadership, preaching/teaching, scripture, singing, sacraments, for example.
[5] My friend, who wisely and faithfully pastors in England and who shares a lot of that wise faithfulness here, wrote this article from which I take his quote (Stephen Kneale, “Assumptions Without Reflection: Assessing Cultural Values in Light of Biblical Values“).
[6] https://seedbed.com/methodism-as-a-revivalistic-movement/
[7] Alan Hirsch, Lance Ford, Rob Wegner, The Starfish and the Spirit: Unleashing the Leadership Potential of Churches and Organizations.
[8] “Test of concept” is often used to refer to the market research used to evaluate the potential success of a new product, service, or idea.
[9] Here are some websites to look at: noplaceleft, 1body.church, l1achurchfortmyers, and churchinnorthcentralohio.
The Solution for Church Decline is Not More of the Same
In his book Why Religion Went Obsolete, Christian Smith argues that a significant cultural shift has made traditional American religion increasingly irrelevant and unattractive. He argues that “Religion has not merely declined; it has become culturally obsolete.”[1] The irrelevance of religion is different than just decline or secularization.
The cultural air we unknowingly imbibe essentially contains pollutants that subtly shape people to not care about or have time or attention for religion. We may not like it but we can’t change reality by ignoring it. But it’s not just the surrounding culture that is at fault for the decline of church in the West. The church itself is liable. One of Smith’s chapter titles, “Religious Self-Destructions,” is spot-on.
Many Christian leaders don’t realize the extent of the problem or would rather stick to the same old ways. But if we keep doing the same thing, we’ll get the same results, but with less success. If Christian leaders don’t change course, they’ll burn out and become discouraged. They might think the answer is to do more of everything and make everything better, but that’s not the answer. If the problem is misunderstood we will not be able to come up with the correct solution.
Imagine someone buying a brand-new electric car. But when it starts acting up, they open the hood and start looking for the carburetor. They look around for spark plugs and try to change the oil. They’re frustrated because they don’t know what to do and nothing looks familiar. But they just keep trying to do the same old thing.
What’s the problem? They’re treating an electric car like it’s a gas-powered one. Same idea on the outside—four wheels, steering wheel, gets you from point A to B—but a completely different system under the hood. To fix it, they need a new kind of knowledge, a new toolset, and probably a whole new way of thinking.
Sometimes we try to fix new challenges in the church using recycled methodology. We assume what worked before will work again, without realizing the extent of change that has taken place and the challenges ahead.
We aren’t in Christendom anymore. Christians are speaking a dying language. Church buildings and institutions are increasingly seen as out of touch.
American religion’s demise has not been due to its farfetched belief contents—as most atheists and some secularization theorists would have it—but because of its own fossilized cultural forms that it was unable to shake. Religion in the Millennial zeitgeist felt alien and disconnected from what mattered in life—in short, badly culturally mismatched. The vibes were off.[2]
Christian Smith suggests getting down to the core. What are Jesus’ followers trying to do and why? What are the essential core traditions, identities, and missions—without which we would not exist—versus cultural positions that may seem non-negotiable but are actually liabilities? We can’t be satisfied with just trying to keep the status quo intact. A whole new paradigm is needed.[3]
The solution for church decline is not more of the same, and I don’t believe the solution is mega church either. I think the solution is Christians getting back to the simple center of Christ and Christ-formed communities without all the unnecessary clutter and cultural-Christian baggage.
(I plan to layout more of my thoughts in a few posts to follow)
Notes
[1] Christian Smith, Why Religion Went Obsolete, 2. “The decline of traditional American religion is a massive social change, the kind that doesn’t happen often, and it can be difficult to wrap one’s head around how such a massive change can occur.” (Smith, Why Religion Went Obsolete, 60) “In 2000, the median number of attendees at a worship service was 137 people. By 2020, that number was reduced to 65—a 52% loss in size in 20 years.” (Ibid., 32-33).
[2] Ibid., 338.
[3] Ibid., 372.
*Photo by Paul Volkmer
Jesus Hates Hypocrisy
Why should I care about Christianity when Christians are such hypocrites? Christians are behind things like the crusades.[1] Pastors and priests abuse people.[2] Pastors and churches only want my money. Jesus was loving. Christians are judgmental and hateful.
If you have been hurt in the church and I’m sorry for that. I hate it. It shouldn’t have been that way. The church is sometimes a messed-up place. Sometimes people say that’s because a church is like a hospital. I get that. Jesus did come to heal and help the sick after all. And not those who think they have it all together. But a hospital is meant to end in health and wholeness. Not death and destruction.
For the hurts that were inflicted on you, I’m sorry. It was not supposed to be that way. Jesus came that people may have life—right now—and have it abundantly. He didn’t come so people would be squelched. That is, however, Satan’s goal. Satan desires to kill, steal, and destroy. And sadly, he has often been quite effective, even within the church.
The thing that makes me the saddest, I think, is that is the furthest thing from Jesus’ desire. Jesus died for the church. He loves the church. The last thing He wants is for the church to be unloving. It is an affront to everything He stands for and is. Anyone who hates an unloving church has something important in common with Jesus Himself.
Jesus Hates Hypocrisy
Jesus was the most real and most loving and honest person there ever was. He doesn’t like lies. He doesn’t like people acting one way but really being another. This is what Jesus says in Matthew 23:27-28:
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
Jesus was harshest on the hypocrites. So, if you hate hypocrisy, you’re in good company. Christians, it is true, should not be hypocrites. When they are, they should work to remove the log in their own eye before they try and remove the speck in someone else’s eye (Matt. 7:3-5).
Christians are Hypocrites (at least sometimes)
The reality is, Christians are sometimes hypocrites. Jesus in Mark 2:17 says, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Christians are sick and in need of the Savior. They aren’t perfect, but they should be growing in Christlikeness.
Again, a church is like a hospital. It’s for sick people. It’s true that we can’t and shouldn’t fix ourselves up before we go to Jesus. But if people are going to a hospital and they’re not getting better, then I don’t want to go to that hospital. So, it’s true that sometimes Christians are hypocritical, but Christians have no excuse for being that way. Christians are supposed to be like Jesus.
Christians Fail and are sometimes Fake
Christians fail and are sometimes fake but that doesn’t disprove or invalidate Jesus. A world-renowned surgeon could perform heart or brain surgery on someone but if the patient keeps only eating donuts and doesn’t stop repeatedly hitting their head against the wall, the patient is still going to be unhealthy. To blame the surgeon for the patient’s problems would not be fair or make sense. In the same way, the presence of problems with Christians does not at all prove that Jesus is problematic.
So, if you’ve been hurt by a church or a Christian, please don’t let that keep you from Jesus. Christians and churches fail and don’t love people as they should. Sometimes they are two-faced. But that doesn’t mean that Jesus has messed up. Jesus loves you. And He hates it when people are hurt by the church.
Christians believe there is a Standard for Right and Wrong Conduct
The fact that we know hypocrisy is wrong points to the fact that there’s a standard for what is right and wrong. And we all fail. We don’t even meet our own criteria of what we should and should not do.
Suppose you were part of a science experiment where a device was inserted into your arm. The device would record any moral judgment you made over six months. Moral judgments like, “It’s wrong to lie” or “Helping your needy friend is a good thing to do” or “It’s wrong to throw trash out your car window and pollute the environment.”
After six months the scientists would print out a list of your moral judgments—your standard of right and wrong. The device would remain implanted but this time the device would note when you did and did not follow your own rules. At the end of the six months, the scientists print out a list of the times your moral judgments and moral actions weren’t in line with one another.
What would the scientists find on your list? Any discrepancies between your moral judgments and actions? I think so. I know my list would reveal some places where I failed to meet my own standard of right and wrong.[3]
Christians shouldn’t be hypocritical and when they are, they are going against the one they say they follow. Christians should be the last thing standing in people’s way from loving Jesus. But when they do, Jesus hates it. Christians should seek to love and live like Jesus did if He is their Lord and Savior.
“The problem with a hateful Christian is not their Christianity but their departure from it.” Christians are to love because Jesus first loved (1 Jn. 4:19). “This is real love—not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins” (1 Jn. 4:10, NLT). Since God loved us so much, we ought to love others (1 Jn. 4:11).
So friend, as much as my heart is sadden for you and your hurts, I believe the heartache Jesus has felt is much more. He is Himself love and He gave Himself for the church that it would be a people and place of love and compassion.
My desire for you, is that you would have life. And have it abundantly. My desire is that you would flourish. And my cards are on the table, because I’m telling you openly, I believe Messiah Jesus matters. Matters desperately and eternally. I can’t make you think He matters too, and I can’t make you live for Him. But I hope I can help you consider Him and some important questions. Know, no matter what you think, or where you land regarding all these questions, that I will continue to love you and root for you.
Notes
[1] The crusades were not condoned by Christ. Just because something happens “in the name of Christ” does not mean that it is endorsed by Christ. “One killing in the name of Christ is a blasphemy” (John Dickson, Bullies and Saints [Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2021], 253).
[2] Jesus speaks directly to the evil of mistreating kids. He says, “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea” (Matt. 18:6).
[3] Eric T. Yang and Stephen T. Davis have a similar illustration on page 110 of their book, An Introduction to Christian Philosophical Theology (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2020).
[4] John Dickson, Bullies and Saints (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2021), 284.
*Photo by James Bak
Deconstruction
Deconstruction is in vogue
I recently looked at #exchristian posts on Instagram. There are a lot of them. It’s pretty popular to recount what is wrong with the Church. Why? And how far should it go?
What’s deconstruction?
Deconstruction is more than just saying what’s wrong with church. A lot of times it’s saying what’s wrong with the Christian faith. It’s saying Christianity is essentially stupid. That’s often what deconstructionists say. But, they don’t so often set out to prove their claims.
Memes in no way prove that a worldview has no meaning or validity. And proving that there are problems with a church, the Church, or particular people in the Church is not the same as proving that Christianity gives an inaccurate picture of the world.
Deconstruction has happened before
Deconstruction is not new. The hashtags are new but deconstruction has actually been happening since the beginning of Christianity.
For example, the apostle Paul and other early Christians argued for the truthfulness of Christianity while others sought to disprove it (see Luke 1:3; Acts 1:3; 9:22; 17:3; 18:4-5, 28; 19:8; 24:25; 26:22-26; 28:23).
People have sought to deconstruct all sorts of aspects of Christianity. Early Christians were accused of cannibalism because of confusion over the Lord’s Supper. They were accused of atheism because they didn’t believe in the pantheon of Greek gods. And they were accused of political disloyalty because they wouldn’t give ultimate allegiance to the empire or offer sacrifices to the emperor.
There are things that should deconstruct
Many memes convey important messages, important critiques that should be taken to heart. There are many sad and despicable things that happen in the church. My family and I have experienced some of those things.
Spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, making idols of pastors, legalism, pridefulness, inhospitality, just to mention a few, are unacceptable and should be condemned as such. Many movements have important things that should be gleaned from them. There are things that can be learned from #exchristians. There are also things that should be confessed and cried over.
Jesus Himself “deconstructed” things
Jesus criticized the religious leaders. He was a rebel with a cause. He reached out and welcomed the Samaritan woman even when that was socially unacceptable (Jn 4). Jesus tipped tables in the Temple. He composed a letter through the hands of John partially to critique and challenge the Church (Rev. 2-3).
Jesus wasn’t silent. He brought up stuff but also proposed solutions. The apostle Paul modeled the same approach.
I believe church leaders should take the same approach. They should take the opportunity to listen, learn, and lovingly address problems.
How does one know what should be deconstructed?
Friedrich Nietzsche, the famous and influential German philosopher, came from a very devout family. Yet, he ended up a very articulate deconstructionist. He very poetically and memorably said: God is dead and we killed him.[1]
Nietzsche didn’t stop there, though. He spelled out what that means for our lives. He reasoned, and I think rightly, that if God is dead, then there is no actual meaning or morality. It is might that makes right. The strong slay and the strong say what is right and what is wrong.
Nietzsche lit a fuse and dynamited God and with Him all basis for morality and actual meaning.[2] So, how much should be deconstructed and destroyed? How do we know? On what basis can we judge what is right and wrong?
If we’re going to prune for the sake of health and good fruit, how much do we cut back? If we cut back too far do we not lose all hope of fruit and flourishing?
There is a point to pruning but if we prune back the very existence of purpose that seems like a cut too far. It seems to me that’s not going to serve the purpose of the pruning.
If one of the problems we’re critiquing is people’s failure to love it seems foolish and unproductive to cut off the possibility of the existence of actual love. And yet, that seems to be what many are doing. Richard Dawkins, the famous atheist said in his book, The God Delusion, that morality and love are simply a “blessed precious mistake;” a happenstance of evolution.[3]
Yet, as G.K. Chesterton said, if we rebel against everything we lose the grounds and ability to rebel against anything. So, is there a basis for actual truth? If so, what? And how does one know? If not, how does one know what should be deconstructed?
What are the reasons for deconstruction?
“Christian” Hypocrisy
Christians and so-called “Christians” often fail to live the Christian ethic. They fail to live a life of love. Often they even carry out evil actions. Sexual abuse seems to have even become prevalent. And so people reason, not so unreasonably, that Christianity is pointless if not also a plague on society.
Problems with people acting immorally, of course, don’t actually prove that Christianity is a shallow or wrong worldview though. This is especially the case if people are using Christian criteria to critique Christianity. Yuval Noah Harari has said,
“Americans got the idea of equality from Christianity, which argues that every person has a divinely created soul, and that all souls are equal before God. However, if we do not believe in the Christian myths about God, creation and souls, what does it mean that all people are “equal”?[4]
It doesn’t make sense to say Christianity is wrong and yet also use Christian morality as a measurement of what is morally wrong. If someone is to critique Christianity they must have an epistemological basis to do so. That is, they must have knowledge of what is right and wrong.
Is that knowledge just innate? If so, why? And how does it work?
Empty Dogmatism
Some people grew up attending a church that only offered empty platitudes and forced dogmatism. Their genuine questions were not able to be asked and certainly weren’t honestly answered. And so, when they confronted challenges or hostility with their beliefs they give it up. They don’t feel they have solid grounds for continuing to be committed to it.
Morality
Some “former Christians” deconstruct Christianity not because of reasoned augmentation but because of Christian morality. Some people don’t like what Christianity says about sexuality or other moral issues.[5] So, they criticize Christianity on moral grounds although they may have no warranted ground for their sense of morality.
Notes
[1] See his work Thus Spoke Zarathustra.
[2] Nietzsche grounded meaning in a doctrine he called “eternal recurrence.” He essentially proposed living in such a way that if your life was to eternally reoccur that you would be living in such a way that it would be less terrible. Nietzsche grounded purpose in this fictitious notion. Fictitious because Nietzsche did not actually believe in God or in the reoccurrence of our lives.
[3] Dawkins says, “Could it be that our Good Samaritan urges are misfirings”? By Dawkins account we have “programmed into our brains altruistic urges, alongside sexual urges, hunger urges, xenophobic urges and so on…. We can no more help ourselves feeling pity when we see a weeping unfortunate (who is unrelated and unable to reciprocate) than we can help ourselves feeling lust for a member of the opposite sex (who may be infertile or otherwise unable to reproduce). Both are misfirings, Darwinian mistakes: blessed, precious mistakes”). (Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion, 252-53).
But, if we are brutes, why shouldn’t we be brutal? Nietzsche, for instance, promotes the strong acting like “large birds of prey” and freely abusing the weak “lambs” because after all that’s what comes naturally and there is no God to impose morals. He said, “I expressly want to place on record that at the time when mankind felt no shame towards its cruelty, life on earth was more cheerful than it is today,… The heavens darkened over man in direct proportion to the increase in his feeling shame at being man” (See par. 7 of the Second Essay in On the Genealogy of Morality).
Jean-Paul Sartre said, “The existentialists… thinks it very distressing that God does not exist, because all possibility of finding values in a heaven of ideas disappears along with Him; there can no longer be an a priori Good, since there is not infinite and perfect consciousness to think it. Nowhere is it written that the Good exists, what we must be honest, that we must not lie; because the fact is we are on a plane where there are only men” (Jean-Paul Sartre, Existentialism and Human Emotions, 22).
If we don’t acknowledge God then the moral laws that flow from His character are gone as well, and we are left with blind skepticism and relativism; every person doing whatever is right in their own eyes. As we consider this we should never forget that, as Martin Luther King Jr. exhorted, “everything Adolf Hitler did in Germany was ‘legal.’”
[4] Harari, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind (New York: Harper, 2015), 109.
[5] As Romans 1 says, “people suppress the truth in unrighteousness.”
Photo by Aaron Burden
in X 