In this article we’re looking at love. But to quote the singer Haddaway, “What Is Love”? The band Foreigner must not have known what love is because they said, “I Want to Know What Love Is.” Tina Turner was confused about love too, sheasked, “What’s Love Got to Do with It”? I’m not sure what Elvis Presley thought about love but he “Can’t Help Falling In Love.” And Taylor Swift has a whole “Love Story.”

Others aren’t so favorable on the topic of love. Khalid’s opinion is that “Love Lies” and Lady Gaga just says, “Stupid Love.” But the Backstreet Boys don’t care, “As Long As You Love Me.” Justin Bieber’s advice, however, is “Love Yourself.”

But the Beatles have a very favorable view of love. They say, “All You Need Is Love.” Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn’t encourage you by sharing Whitney Houston’s pledge: “I Will Always Love You.”

Okay, I said a lot of things but I didn’t answer my question. What is love? We can talk a lot about love and even sing about it but that doesn’t mean we know what ‘love’ is. This points us to the importance of defining love. It seems especially important to understand what it means if it’s ‘all we need,’ as the Beatles said.

So, what even is love? In the movie 10 Things I Hate About You, we see an explanation of the difference between ‘like’ and ‘love.’

Bianca says: ‘See, there’s a difference between like and love, because I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.’

Chastity says: ‘But I love my Skechers.’

Bianca says: ‘That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack.’

I think Bianca is correct. There is a difference between ‘like’ and ‘love.’ We intuitively know there are differences, but we’re still very often confused. In English, there’s just one word for love: love. In Greek, there are four.[1] The very short Bible passage we’re looking at has two Greek words for “love” (philadelphia and agapaó). 

Sometimes a spelled-out definition is helpful but sometimes seeing an example is more powerful.   The Bible shows us what love is. Actually, from the beginning to the end, it recites a better love story than Taylor Swift’s (the song or all the hype about her and Travis Kelce). 

Paul, one of the first Christian leaders, wrote to a group of Jesus followers who lived in the city of Thessaloniki: “Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, 10for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more” (1 Thess. 4:9–10).

Paul says, “You have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another.” Paul is saying that the Jesus followers know what love is. And they are loving one another. Why? How can our culture be so confused about love and yet they were so proficient at loving others?

They were “taught by God.” Not to geek out too much but this is one word in Greek—they were God-taught. This is the first time in Greek literature that this word appears. Paul made it up. Theodidaktos.[2] It’s kinda like “Bussin” or “Snatched,” it’s made up to communicate something. Except God-taught is amazingly profound and unexpected.

Think about what we learn about love from Greek mythology. Not a lot. Instead, we see gods at war and spreading mass chaos. Here’s a small sample:

• Kronos swallowed up his children as soon as they were born so they wouldn’t have the chance to overpower him as they grew older and stronger.
• Zeus turned his first wife into a fly and ate her, chained Prometheus to a rock so an eagle could eat his liver, was consistently unfaithful to his wife, and turned one of his lovers into a cow to hide her from his wife.
• Athena, known as the wisest of the gods, turned Medusa into a snake-headed monster whose gaze turns people to stone because she was raped by Poseidon.
• Marduk, the god of storms and justice, in the Babylonian creation myth, created the world by defeating Tiamat, the primordial sea goddess, and then used her body to form the heavens, earth, and other elements of the cosmos. 

In contrast to Greek mythology, it is amazing that we are “taught by God to love one another.” Greek mythology taught snubbing and brutal subjugation, Jesus taught sacrificial service. Greek mythology taught rape, Jesus taught appropriate restraint. Greek mythology taught lust, Jesus taught true love. 

In contrast to the mythology of the time:

Jesus teaches us to Love

Once again, the Bible says we are “taught by God to love one another” (v. 9). The Bible doesn’t just say that God is loving, though it does say that. The Bible says much more. It says, “God is love” (1 Jn. 4:8, 16). Love is deeply connected to God’s very being. This sets the Christian God apart from all other views of God. For love to truly exist there must be relationship. The Bible teaches that God is a relational being to His core. God is triune. 

Very briefly, “Trinity” means God is one in relation to His ontological being yet exists in three persons (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). The Trinity is unparalleled in the entire universe but is not a logical contradiction. This, in a way, should not be surprising to us because God is beyond our full comprehension. Although we cannot fully grasp what this means, we do know that God has for all eternity been in loving relationship. This means that because God is love, He cares about love and teaches us to love (1 Jn. 4:7).

What Mark Howell says here is spot on:

“In reality, God is the only One fully qualified to teach on the subject of love, because love would not exist without Him. He is its author. He is its commentator, because you would not know how to love without His instruction. So then, God not only teaches you about love, but He also teaches you how to love. Therefore, to begin any discussion on the subject oflove, the logical starting point must be with God Himself.”[3]

God is love and teaches us what love is. God is love and He teaches us how to love. God being love and Himself teaching us to love is unprecedented. The three-in-one nature of God shows us that He is relational, loving, self-giving, and personal to His core. God is not just some distant, cosmic force. He has personhood. He has existed in all eternity past in loving relationship, odd to say, with Himself. God amazingly calls us to join Him in relationship (John 17:21-23). He recreates us in His image and welcomes us as His sons and daughters. God welcomes us to have communion with Himself.

I love how 1 John 4 says it: 

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us… 19 We love because He first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from Him: whoever loves God must also love his brother” (1 Jn. 4:7-12, 19-21).

Many of us were moved by seeing the sacrificial love of Tony Stark (Iron Man) in the Marvel movie, Avengers: Endgame, where he sacrifices himself to save the universe and his friends. Remember? After Thanos’s snap in Infinity War, the Avengers are devastated and the universe is in peril. 

Despite Tony Stark’s initial reluctance, he chooses to use the Infinity Gauntlet to snap Thanos and the remaining half of the universe back, even though it means his own death. He utters the famous line, “I am Iron Man,” before snapping his fingers, saving the universe but giving up his own life. 

There is a true story of overwhelming and powerful love, not in the Marvel universe, but in the real universe; and salvation comes not through Iron Man, but through Jesus, the God/man.

Tony Stark’s sacrifice is powerful but it’s not real. The thing is, Jesus and His sacrifice are real. The all-powerful, all-good, God who ruled the entire world, and upheld the very universe in which we live, move, and have our being, came into the world and was born in a pohick town, was mocked and ridiculed by His creation—like termites mocking the owner of the house—and Jesus died for those very same mocking termites. Of course, as Jesus’ biographies go on to say, Jesus didn’t stay dead, unlike Tony Stark. Jesus expressed His surpassing love through His sacrificial death and Heshowed His utter power by rising from the dead. So, Jesus beats both hate and death. 

We started out by quoting the song, “What is love?” God not only knows the answer to that often confusing question and tells us the answer, but He Himself is the answer. This is love not that we loved God, but that He loved us and set His son to be the sacrifice to rescue us from the consequences of sin (1 John 4:10). 

As the late great poets, DC Talk, said, “Love is a verb.” If you don’t remember what a verb is, I get it, but a verb is an action word. It doesn’t just sit on the couch. It doesn’t just talk. It gets up and does something. And God doesn’t just talk about His love for us. He demonstrates His love for us. God loves the world so much that He gave His Son. Because God is so loving He amazingly has made a way for us to be His friend. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

But, the love of God does not stop with us. We are not to be a damn holding in God’s love. No. We are to be conduits through which God’s love flows freely. Jesus taught us how to love and He loves us, so we love.

Christian love turns the world upside down, it did in the first century and it will today. I don’t mean some undefined vague kind of love; I mean the Jesus kind of love. In this way, Christianity has always been subversive and disruptive.[4]

We must love

The Jesus followers Paul wrote to were already loving each other. Paul is sure that they had been God-taught. They practiced “brotherly love.” Again, not to ‘Greek out’ too much but the word for “brotherly love” here is philadelphia. It’s where the city, Philadelphia, gets it’s name. That’s why it’s known as “the city of brotherly love.” However, perhaps a better way to translate this word is “family affection.” The Jesus followers were God-taught and so clearly had healthy family affection for one another. 

In the secular world of that time, the word for “family affection” (philadelphia) was only used for actual family relationships. It wasn’t used within religious groups. It was used to refer to love for one’s siblings. “In the New Testament, however, it is always used as it is here, of love between members of the Christian family (Rom 12:10; Heb 13:1; 1 Pet 1:22; 2 Pet 1:7).”[5]

As Jesus taught us in the model prayer, we are together to pray “our Father in heaven…” We don’t pray alone. We pray to our Father who we share. “The early Christians saw themselves as members of a family”[6] and we should too. 

Paul told them, you are loving all the brothers and sisters throughout Macedonia. “But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more.”

When our kids were young and not yet talking we taught them how to communicate with sign language. Our son, Uriah, was sitting in the highchair and wanted more food (it was probably tomatoes based on how much he enjoys them now). So, he excitedly and quickly did all the signs he knew. He didn’t just do the sign for “more.” He almost did every sign he knew simultaneously because he wanted more so much. It reminds me of  what Paul is doing here. He’s really passionate about us loving each other more and more. Why? Because God is loving and God Himself showed us how to love. It’s important. It’s worth getting excited about. 

Brothers and sisters, if you are reading this and you have turned to Jesus for rescue and you’re following Him as your Boss and Lord, you have been God-taught to love. You must love. What God is saying to us is brothers and sisters, love more and more. And don’t just love in name only.

A deacon in a church who taught the kid’s Sunday school class had poured some concrete for the church… the next day he saw footprints in the concrete. He was very angry and talking very loudly. A man who was standing by said, “I thought you loved kids.” The deacon said, “I love them in the abstract but not in the concrete!”[7] We, however, must love not just in the abstract, but in and through the concrete things of life. It won’t always or ever be easy. 

One of the reasons I believe in simple church is because love shines best in relationship. Church is not a building, it’s a body of people, made up of rich and poor, black and white, Jew and Gentile, coffee drinker and tea drinker, democrat and republican. If we are in Jesus, He is our elder brother, God is our Father, and the Holy Spirit is our ever-present Helper.

Church isn’t about entertainment or coffee. Jesus calls us out, out of the boat, off the couch, chair, or pew. Church is about loving Jesus, loving like Jesus, and sharing the life-transforming news of Jesus. 

Church isn’t about some super-pastor it’s about the called-out people of God being the church in coffee shops, factories, schools, and offices. Light shines best when it’s not hidden in a building, salt is no good if it’s stuck in the shaker. 

Conclusion

Our world is lonely but we have the love of God to share. Our world is isolated and alone but Jesus came to be with us. And brothers and sisters, Jesus said, “As the Father sent Me, in the same way, I am sending you” (John 20:21). As Jesus loved the sometimes unlovely, He calls us to do likewise. As Jesus went to the destitute and distraught, He calls us to do the same. We have been God-taught; as Jesus loves, we are to love. 

“God’s own expression of his love resulted in his total self-giving in the person and death of his son. Christian expression of the same love must have the same self-giving quality.” 

If we as Christians are God’s adopted children through Jesus, we must resemble our Father, we must be loving. And if we are His children, we must love one another. Beloved, guess what‽ The reality is, in Jesus we are family. So, as Paul said, let’s have family affection for one another, let’s love more and more. Now, as 1 Thessalonians 3:12 says, “May the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all.” 

Notes

[1] As C.S. Lewis explains. He says, “There are 4 kinds of love, all good in their proper place.” First, there is “affection love.” This is the type of love that one has for family or familiar relationships. Second, there is “friendship love.” Third, there is “charity love.” This type of love is sacrificial and puts the interests of others first. A fourth would be “like” or “desire.” As we think about love, it is important that we keep these different kinds of ‘love’ in mind. I would like for English to have more options. It doesn’t seem correct that I’ve said, “I love Cinnamon Toast Crunch” and “I love my wife.” Hopefully I don’t love cereal and my wife in the same sense. Yet, I think the fact that in English the four words have been conflated into one word, communicates something.

[2]  “‘Taught by God’ translates a single compound word (theodidaktoi). This is the only occurrence of the word in the New Testament and the earliest known occurrence in any body of Greek literature. It may well have been coined by Paul himself. The closest biblical phrase is in the LXX text of Isa 54:13 (quoted in John 6:45). It predicts a day when ‘all your sons will be taught by the Lord.’ A hallmark of the new covenant in the New Testament is the presence of the Spirit with each believer (Acts 2:16–18; Gal 4:6) and the resultant internal witness to the will of God (cf. Jer 31:34; Heb 8:10–11).” (D. Michael Martin, 1, 2 Thessalonians: An Exegetical and Theological Exposition of Holy Scripture). 

[3]  Mark Howell, Exalting Jesus in 1 & 2 Thessalonians.

[4]  In his book Dominion, Tom Holland (not the Tom Holland from Spiderman) argues that the Christian concept of love, which he describes as a social practice rather than a feeling, has been a powerful force in shaping Western morality and the idea of universal human rights.

[5]  D. Michael Martin, 1, 2 Thessalonians: An Exegetical and Theological Exposition of Holy Scripture. See alsoMichael W. Holmes, 1 and 2 Thessalonians. 

[6]  N. T. Wright, Paul for Everyone: Galatians and Thessalonians.

[7]  J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible Vol. 49: The Epistles (1 and 2 Thessalonians).

*Photo by Ben Lambert