Is my body for sex and sexiness?

[[Warning!!!]] The conclusion I come to here may be offensive, radical, and seemingly insane to the majority of Americans. The culture we consume continuously yells: “Sex! Sex! SEX!!!” However, I ask you to consider my perspective on sex.

So, are our bodies for sex and sexiness? First, if you are above the age of 30 it is probably a daily empirical reality that no, our bodies are not (primarily) made for sex and sexiness.[1] Thus, virgins can (and do!) live fulfilled lives!

In my opinion, the sexual revolution is missing out on our bodies’ teleological (or ulitmate) function and so people are left vying for fulfillment. This is the case because “The body is not meant for sexual immorality [misunderstanding of the bodies telos], but for the Lord [correct telos], and the Lord for the body” (1 Cor. 6:13). God does not say that sex is bad and that humans should not enjoy sex. Actually, we find that God wants us to enjoy sex and that when it is enjoyed as intended He calls it “very good” (see Designer Sex 1 and 2). 

God is not a cosmic killjoy. Truly, we find that God has our best in mind. He wants us to appropriately enjoy the many good things He made (e.g. the earth, other human beings, grapes and what can be created from grapes). However, as the supreme and glorious creator of the universe, He also knows, in the words of Augustine that “our hearts are restless until they rest in Him.” Or as Blaise Pascal said, we have an infinite hole that can only be filled by the infinite; namely, only by God Himself.

God is not being selfish or unloving when He gives us a sexual ethic. God knows our telos! He knows the end or goal for which all things were created,[2] He know the goal of why we’ve been created. And we were not just created for sex (as good as sex is). We were created for the Lord and so we will not find ultimate satisfaction in sex but ultimately only in loving a relationship with the Lord. 

What if there is also moral teleology? Well, I believe there is. I myself do not even always like that there is moral teleology but I believe it is the way it is, there is a certain way we are supposed to function. The heart’s  teleology is to pump blood, and when it doesn’t function according to that telos there are deathly results. In the same way, being faithful to my wife can be difficult but the telos of marriage is faithfulness and when marriage does not function according to its telos there are grave results. This is true on a societal level, on a family level, and on an individual level (I’ve seen the devastating results of my own parents’ divorce because of unfaithfulness and I’ve seen its impact on many close to me as well).

God as a good and wise God knows how things are to function. So when He tells us, we should listen, whether we like it or not. God, as the creator and designer of all things, knows what He is talking about. Sometimes directions don’t make sense to us (this can be true of a GPS, Lego instructions, or cooking recipes) but we all listen to them. Brothers and sisters, it makes sense for us to listen to God even when we are unsure of why the directions are what they are. We can trust that God knows the “recipe,” the telos of all things. 

So, when we’re tempted to think that God is a cosmic killjoy, let’s look to the cross and remember the goodness of God and let’s trust Him even when we don’t want to. Let’s remember that even though we’re smart and can write codes for computers and land on the moon etc., that God made our minds, the moon, and a million other things we can’t fathom.

So, are our bodies mainly or ultimately for sex and sexiness? Is that the purpose for which we have bodies? Nope. I don’t think so. Actually, if you’re asking me, I think this is a biological and empirical reality. If our bodies were just made for sex (as it often seems if we ingest enough media) (e.g. a number of Snapchat stories[3]), it seems our bodies would be a lot different… However, no matter what we think about the empirical “evidence,” God clearly says, “Nope. Sex is good and all, but your body is not made for sex. It’s made for something much better, long-lasting, and fulfilling. It’s made for ME” (see 1 Cor. 6:13).

We definitely live in a culture that says our bodies are for sex and sexiness. So, keeping that in mind, let’s walk with love and compassion with those that are stumped and confused by the “directions,” remembering we’ve all been there. 🙂

And let’s also remember that we ourselves don’t have the “directions” and let’s point people to the good God of our teleology.

[See also Designer Sex 1 and 2.]


[1] In philosophical terms sex is not ultimate but a penultimate goal. Other secondary goals of our bodies include: producing children, work, emotions, love, etc. 

[2] Notice the teleology in biology for example; e.g. the heart and kidney function. Also, notice that the function of the kidneys was not always apparent in the past but that does not mean that it did not have a function. In the same way, we may not understand the function of monogamy (or like or agree with it) but that doesn’t change the function of it. We don’t decide biological teleology (see “Teleonomy“).

[3] Here are a few of the titles of some of the Stories on Snapchat: “How To Have Sex With A Girl (By A Girl),” “A Guy’s Guide To Getting Laid This Christmas,” “Kylie Stuns In Naked Bodysuit,” “Gigi is sexy without a stich,” “Why 2016 Is The Year of The Booty,” “Kylie’s 2017 Calendar Is Racy AF,” “Kylie shows her killer curves,” “Bombshell Bodies—Cleavage Included—Are Back!,” “How to Sculpt a Bigger Butt,” “Sex Ed for Hardcore Christians,” “8 Celebs Reveal How They Lost Their Virginities,” “How To Look Good Naked,” “The Secret Love Lives Of Sex Workers,” “Sexy Tips Every Woman Wants You To Know,” “Tyga claws Kylie’s butt,” “The Sex Fact & Fiction Of One-Night Stands,” and “Does This Potion Turn You Into a Sex God?”

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About Paul O'Brien

I am a lot of things; saint and sinner. I struggle and I strive. I am a husband and father of three. I have been in pastoral ministry for 10 years. I went to school at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary but most of my schooling has been at the School of Hard Knocks. I have worked various jobs, including pheasant farmer, toilet maker, construction worker, and I served in the military. My wife and I enjoy reading at coffee shops, taking walks, hanging out with friends and family, and watching our three kid's antics. :)

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