How Can You Move Past Your Past?
Way back before smartphones and before GPS, there was something called MapQuest. With MapQuest, you could print out easy-to-follow directions. Instead of your device telling you what to do and when, you had to remember what you had already done and where you were. Otherwise, you would make the wrong turn.
I’m directionally challenged, and sometimes I get lost. It was especially bad for me before the advent of smartphones and the constant presence of GPS. I’d forget where I had been and then wouldn’t know what I needed to do next, and so I’d get lost.
Just as when driving, in life we must know where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going.
Remember Where You Have Been (and who you were)
Why should we remember? Doesn’t Paul say, “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead” (Phil. 3:13)? Yes, he does. But… Paul also says he was “a persecutor of the church” (v. 6). which is something he did in the past. He didn’t forget that fact.
Paul is emphasizing not forgetting, but focus. We are not to focus on the past. We are to focus on the path and prize before us (v. 14-15).
We know from Galatians 1:13 that Paul did, in fact, remember his “former life.” It was in part because Paul realized that formerly he “was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent” that he stood in awe of God’s mercy (1 Tim. 1:13).
Paul even called himself the foremost of sinners, but he knew and rejoiced that Jesus came to save sinners like himself (1 Tim. 1:15).[1] That’s what we see in Luke 7:46: Jesus said it is the person who knows they have been forgiven much, who loves much.
And remember, even the prodigal son is to rejoice and party. Not in a casual, lighthearted way, but with a profound sense of knowing that he was lost but is now found.
The father welcomes him to the party. The father throws a feast. Not so much because of his past or despite his past, but because his past is past. There is great rejoicing because of the return.
Also, Ezekiel 16 gives a powerful analogy. It is a story about a baby girl who was abandoned. No eye pitied the baby (v. 5). It was left to wallow in its own blood (v. 6).
That is the sad and sick part of the story. Yet, it sets up the beauty of the rescue that happens. If we forget why the rescue was necessary, we’ll forget that the rescue even happened.
It might be difficult for Snow White to recount all the difficulties she faced, but if she forgets the curse she was under, then she won’t be as grateful to her prince, who rescued her.
The orphan outcast in Ezekiel 16 forgot her previous sorry state, and so she forgot her rescue and Rescuer. She did not remember the days of her youth, when she was naked and bare, wallowing in her own blood (v. 22). She forgot her past, so she forgot to be grateful. That’s what we’re liable to do if we forget our past. Sometimes our broken pasts are what highlight God’s transforming beauty.
Not sure if you’ve heard of the word kintsugi, but it is a Japanese word that means “joining with gold.” Kintsugi is a Japanese art form in which a broken vessel’s shards are put back together using gold lacquer. What was badly broken becomes beautiful.
In fact, the bigger the break, the better the beautiful gold shows. Sometimes glory is seen not through strength but through the Savior fixing what was shattered. God brings beauty from what is broken (Isaiah 61:3).
It’s also important to remember the past because it can help prevent us from being unnecessarily hurt in the future. Take Joseph in the Bible, for example. Joseph was mistreated by his brothers. And he did not simply ignore or forget how his brothers sinned against him. He wept over that reality even while he trusted the LORD and forgave his brothers (Genesis 45:1-5; 50:15-21).
Yet, he also helped his brothers to seriously face their sins (Gen. 42:14-20; 44:1-5). Remembering the past can also help prevent us from believing lies. Remembering can be a kind of light that exposes sin, sin that you have perpetrated, and sin that has been perpetrated against you.
So, remembering is often not easy. It can be painful. Many do not want sin to be exposed (John 3:16-21). But as Anna Salter has said, “Darkness produces good mushrooms, but poor flowers.” Or as Dan Allender has said, “The past clings to the present like an intractable barnacle.”[2] If we want to move forward and blossom as God desires us to, sometimes we have to consider and heal from past wounds.
So, we can ask the LORD to search our hearts (Ps. 139:23-24) and ask Him to reveal any hurts that need healing. We cannot solve a problem until we see the problem for what it is.
Another way of saying it: we cannot give our burden to the LORD until we have acknowledged that it’s a burden (1 Peter 5:6-9). Therefore, we remember our past not to wallow in it, but to rejoice in the Lord’s abundant provision. And when we remember where we have been, it helps us stand in awe of where we are now by the grace of God.
Remember Where You Are (and who you are now)
We need something to eclipse our past. But that thing has to be big, or it won’t be able to eclipse whatever lies behind us.
Notice that doesn’t change the reality of our past; it is just a bigger reality than our past. What could eclipse our past? What could be so big that it makes a difference in how we see everything?
John Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress recounts the story of a pilgrim named Christian. Christian had an unbearable burden—the crushing weight of sin and guilt. He could find no freedom from the weight of his sin. Until… Until he came upon a hill that had a cross at the top of it and a grave at the bottom. It was as Christian looked upon the cross that his unbearable burden fell off. It fell off and tumbled into the tomb, never to be seen again.
That was the crucial moment in Christian’s journey. His path wasn’t finished, but he was thenceforth new. The Bible teaches us that we are not what we have done or what has been done to us. In Christ, we are new; a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17).
We must fight to remember so we don’t forget. Zechariah chapter 3 tells us a pretty amazing story about Joshua the high priest. He was no doubt a man who sought to live a holy and righteous life and was a leader in the community as the high priest, yet Satan accused him (Zech. 3:1).
That’s actually what the word Satan means, accuser. And that’s what Satan does, he accuses. And he accused Zechariah.
But the LORD rebukes Satan. And the LORD says He has chosen His people, He has plucked them from the fire. And the LORD has Joshua’s filthy garments removed and clothes him with pure clothing (v. 4-5).
That’s what Jesus does. He takes away our sin and gives us clothes of His righteousness. So when we stand before the LORD and hear Satan’s accusations, all Satan’s accusations fall flat.
We can boldly go before the LORD because Jesus has provided a way for us. We are hidden and clothed in Christ (Col. 3:3). Therefore, because of the cleansing and clothing of Christ, we are not condemned, and we should not listen to the lies of Satan, the accuser.
We are God’s children, welcomed with Christ the King. So, we remember where we are: in Christ. And we remember who we are: new creations in Christ.
So, there is another sense in which we are to forget. We are to put the past in the past. We are to remember that in Christ, our sins have been cast into the depths of the sea (Micah 7:19). So, because God forgets our sins, we should too.
Remember Where You Are Going (and whose you are)
Remembering who we are and whose we are helps us put the past in the past. We won’t ever be able to move past our past if we don’t let it stay in the past… Obvious. Yet, profound. The past is the past, so we don’t need to keep dredging it up unnecessarily.
Imagine being at a traffic light and it turns green. You are free to go. Move on. But you just stay there. You’re acting as if it’s red. You’re acting as if you’re stuck. But you’re free to go. But you don’t. You just stay there, stopped at the green light.
That’s what it’s like when we don’t move past the past. I don’t want to be insensitive because I know a lot of people have some really difficult things that they deal with from the past.
You might have been hurt by someone in the past, or you might have hurt someone in the past. You might have sinned against others or been sinned against. Likely, it’s a confusing mix of both. But we want to move forward and not becrushed by the weight of the past.
Remembering where we are going makes all the difference in the world. We see this in passages like Hebrews 11. When we know that we are “strangers and exiles on the earth” (v. 13) and we “desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one” (v. 16) we live differently.
When we look at the past, God’s transforming grace in Christ is there. Our sins are buried in the deepest, darkest, undivable ocean. They can’t be dredged up. When we look at our present, God’s transforming grace in Christ is there.We’re hidden in Christ. Our sin cannot be seen. We have Christ’s blanket of righteousness as our cover. When we look at the future, God’s transforming grace in Christ will be there. Our sins will be forever gone. We’ll have only a song of Christ’s transforming grace.
Our past paints a picture of our need for God. We use the lessons of our past to rely on God for our future. God has been good, and He will be good eternally, and with that truth in mind and by the empowering grace of the Spirit, we can and must move forward.
Thinking About the Past to Move Forward in the Future
- How has your family of origin or something in your past affected your relationship with God and your mental/emotional health?
- Whether it is in your conscience or in practical terms, what decisions have you made in the past that you are still suffering from?
- How does remembering who you are now in Christ encourage you?
- How does remembering the promise of the future help you deal with the hurts of the past?
Notes
[1] “Paul had a clear grasp of the scope of his sinful past, the lies that had fueled his sin, and exactly what he needed God to help him change. In other words, we cannot put the painful past behind us until we have fully grappled with it” (Steven R. Tracy, Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse, 134).
[2] Dan B. Allender, The Wounded Heart, 202.
*Photo by Ray Kacaribu
What is Forgiveness and How Can I Forgive?
The Bible talks about forgiveness frequently. It talks about God’s forgiveness of us and our forgiveness of others. Forgiveness is important. So, it’s important that we have a good understanding of it.
What does forgiveness mean?
The truth is, we hear many confusing definitions of forgiveness. Yet, to misunderstand forgiveness brings serious consequences.[1]
The main New Testament Greek word for forgive is ἄφεσις, and basically means to “let go.” Yet, we should know that the best way to determine the biblical meaning of forgiveness is to look at its various uses in the Bible.[2] That’s a big errand and not one we will be able to do here. Yet, this study can still be helpful.
There are three main types of forgiveness.[3]
1. Legal or Judicial Forgiveness
“Judicial forgiveness involves the remission or pardoning of sin by God.” This type of forgiveness “lies at the heart of Christianity and the salvation experience.”[4] This form of forgiveness is contingent on confession of sin (Ps. 32:5; 1 Jn. 1:9) and repentance (Lk. 24:47; Acts 2:38; 5:31). In the ultimate sense, this type of forgiveness cannot be granted by humans, only sought by humans. This type of forgiveness is the kind that every person must seek. Because there is none righteous, not even one (Rom. 3:10). So, we are all in need of forgiveness.
There is, however, another sense of judicial forgiveness. That is, to forgive the debt that one owes. Imagine a friend borrows five hundred dollars; it is my right to get my money back. He owes a debt to me. But I can forgive that debt so that he does not owe me.
The Bible says that the wage of sin is death (Rom. 6:23). The debt we owe because of our sin is death and separation from God. Yet, God makes a way for our debt to be forgiven.
Are Christians to grant legal or judicial forgiveness?
First, it depends on what is meant. As we have said, we are not in the place of God to forgive sins which have been committed against Him. Yet, God in His grace and mercy has provided a way of forgiveness. God is both just and the justifier of the one who places their faith in Jesus (Rom. 3:26).
Second, God has instituted governmental authorities over us to carry out justice and enforce the law. If someone has broken the law and is sentenced to pay the penalty for their crime, we cannot release them from their punishment. In that sense, we cannot “let go” and forgive.
Yet, third, it does seem there is a sense that Christians are, at least at times, to grant legal or judicial forgiveness. This seems especially to be the case when Christians are dealing with other Christians. For example, Paul writes in his letter to the Christian Corinthians, “To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded” (6:7)?
2. Psychological Forgiveness
“Psychological forgiveness is the inner, personal category of forgiveness, and it has two aspects: negatively, it involves letting go of hatred and personal revenge; positively, it involves extending grace to the offender.”[5]This is a form of forgiveness that I believe all Christians are called to.
It should be realized, however, that letting go of revenge and retribution does not mean letting go of justice or the desire for justice. In fact, trusting in God’s perfect justice enables us to leave revenge to God (Rom. 12:19). God will perfectly carry out justice even when governmental justice fails. Trusting God’s justice facilitates forgiveness. We don’t have to avenge ourselves because God is a just avenger (Deut. 32:35; Ps. 94:1-2; Rom. 12:19; 1 Thess. 4:6).
So, “forgiveness does not necessarily remove negative consequences for the one forgiven, nor does it automatically grant trust and reconciliation.”[6] We see this in different places throughout the Bible. In Numbers 14:20-23, God forgives His people of their sin, but that does not mean there aren’t consequences. There are. None of the rebellious adults enter the Promised Land (see also 2 Sam. 12:11; Hos. 3:1-5).
Also, psychological forgiveness is not necessarily felt first; it is often granted first.[7] Forgiveness is not just a feeling; it’s a choice. Hopefully, feelings eventually accompany the choice, but forgiveness is a “letting go” whether or not we feel like letting go.[8]
Forgiveness does not mean that one must forget. “There is no such commandment in the Scripture. Forgiveness is not a shock treatment that instantly wipes out memory of the recent past.”[9] Forgiveness is a process. And I also believe it is a provision of God. He helps us to forgive, and He can heal our hurts.
Are Christians to grant psychological forgiveness?
In short, yes, I believe they are. But psychological forgiveness does not necessarily mean things must automatically or ever go back to the way things were.
3. Relational Forgiveness
This type of forgiveness is restorative. It is the restoration of a relationship or reconciliation. This form of forgiveness is always desirable, but not always possible. There are various scenarios in which this is the case. Aaron Sironi points out that Joseph, in Genesis 42-45, wisely withheld reconciliation until his brothers acknowledged their sins and expressed true remorse.[10]
“When trust is deeply broken, restoration is often a lengthy process largely determined by the changing attitudes and actions of the abuser. Words and tears are not and will never be enough to restore trust. When an abusive person genuinely repents, there is an understanding and acceptance that rebuilding trust will take time.”[11]
In Luke 17, Jesus says: “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
First, we should pay attention to ourselves, knowing that we all stumble in many ways (James 3:2). We must realize that “temptations to sin are sure to come” (Lk. 17:1) to us all. We shouldn’t ignorantly and arrogantly think we are immune.
Second, if someone[12] sins, we are to lovingly rebuke them. Yet, we must make sure we are not puffed up in pride, and we must make sure we do not have a log in our own eye when we seek to look at the speck in someone else’s eye (Matt. 7:3-5). We must also realize that some offenses should just be overlooked (Prov. 19:11; 1 Pet. 2:19, 23). We shouldn’t make an issue where no issue exists or where something can be lovingly overlooked.
Third, it says that if they repent, we are to forgive them. That seems to mean if they don’t repent, we are not constrained to forgive them, at least in the relational sense. Though, in the psychological sense mentioned above, I believe we are still to forgive. So, at least some forms of forgiveness are conditional.
But, Timothy Keller makes a good point when he says,
If a relationship has broken down, it is always your move to initiate relationship repair. Matthew 5 says, “If your brother has something against you, go to him,” while Matthew 18 says, “If you have something against your brother, go to him,” so it doesn’t matter who started it. A Christian is responsible to begin the process of reconciliation, regardless of how the alienation began. [13]
Notice Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Sometimes it is not up to us. If people in our lives insist on continued abuse, we do not need to relationally forgive them. In fact, we likely should not. I believe that would be casting our pearls before swine (Matt. 7:6).
Fourth, we are to forgive those who sin against us when they repent, even when they are struggling to defeat their sin. Therefore, we see Christians are to offer relational forgiveness when genuine repentance has taken place (2 Cor. 2:5-11).
Are Christians to grant relational forgiveness?
As we have seen, the granting of relational forgiveness seems to depend on various factors. Is it wise and safe to be in a relationship with the person who hurt you? Have they shown signs of genuine godly repentance and change?
Steps to Forgive
It can be difficult to forgive others. Yet, forgiveness is something God calls us to. So, here are five steps to help us forgive.
1. Understand God’s Forgiveness
Look at these verses about God’s forgiveness of us!
- “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against Him” (Dan. 9:9).
- “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Ps. 103:12).
- “Who is a God like You, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of His inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; You will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea” (Mic. 7:18-19).
This is how Keller says it:
We should be in the accused prisoner’s dock, but we put ourselves in the judge’s seat. But the Lord, who rightly sat in the universe’s judgment seat, came down, put himself in the dock, and went to the cross. The Judge of all the earth was judged. He was punished for us. He took the punishment we deserve. This humbles us out of our bitterness because we know we are also sinners living only by sheer mercy (Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?).
2. Understand what God says about forgiveness
We must consider what we have already looked at above. In addition, once we have remembered and celebrated God’s abundant love and forgiveness, it’s good to remember what He calls us to.
- “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).
- “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Col. 3:13).
- “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt. 6:14-15 see also Matt. 18:15-35).
3. Understand the offense(s) and negative emotions
If we are to rightly forgive someone, it’s important that we rightly understand what it is we are forgiving them for. Therefore, it is important to clearly think about what they have done and what the result has been. When we know what we need to forgive, we are better positioned to forgive.
4. Deliberately let go of the desire for revenge
We, like Jesus, are to entrust ourselves to Him who judges justly (1 Pet. 2:23). That means we work to let go of a desire for revenge because we know that God will make all things right in the end.
5. Reevaluate the person who hurt you and discover their humanity
We remember that we are all sinners in need of grace. If someone has done something to hurt you, it could be because they have been deeply hurt or because Satan deeply deceived them. Of course, neither of those things justifies at all what they did, but it can be helpful to see their humanity.
What Does Real Repentance Look Like?
This is an important consideration for the person asking for forgiveness, as well as the person granting forgiveness to consider. Genuine repentance is especially important with relational forgiveness. As we saw above, Joseph wanted to see signs of genuine repentance from his brothers before granting relational forgiveness.
So, if someone seeks to genuinely repent, they should:
- Take full responsibility for what they have done.
- Acknowledge the full and extensive scope of what they have done.
- Put boundaries and plans in place to protect the one they have hurt.
- Take active steps to change.
This is what godly repentance looks like that leads to life, as opposed to worldly repentance that leads to death (2 Cor. 7:10-16).[14] People, in other words, are called to bear fruit in keeping with repentance (Matt. 3:8).
Conclusion
It seems that for the Christian, forgiveness is required in every case. Yet, there are different types of forgiveness. If we forgive what someone owes us, that means we realize we will not exact payment. That, however, does not mean that God will not exact payment. Forgiveness, then, is an act of faith that entrusts justice and retribution into God’s hands. We can forgive and let things go when we give them to God. God can handle those things.
Notes
[1] Aaron Sironi, “From Your Heart… Forgive,” 47 in The Journal of Biblical Counseling, vol. 26, num. 3.
[2] See Steven R. Tracy, Mending the Soul, 183
[3] Timothy Keller says, “These are not two kinds of forgiveness but two aspects or stages of it. One could say that the first must always happen, and the second may happen, but that is not always possible. Attitudinal forgiveness can occur without reconciliation, but reconciliation cannot happen unless attitudinal forgiveness has already occurred. (Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?, 107)
[4] Steven Tracy, Mending the Soul, 184.
[5] Tracy, Mending the Soul, 185.
[6] Tracy, Mending the Soul, 182.
[7] Jay Adams, The Christian Counselor’s Manuel, 67.
[8] Keller says, “Forgiveness is often (or perhaps usually) granted before it’s felt inside. When you forgive somebody, you’re not saying, ‘All my anger is gone.’ What you’re saying when you forgive is ‘I’m now going to treat you the way God treated me. I remember your sins no more'” (Forgive).
[9] Adams, The Christian Counselor’s Manuel, 64-65.
[10] Sironi, “From Your Heart… Forgive,” 51.
[11] Sironi, “From Your Heart… Forgive,” 51.
[12] Luke 17:3 says “brother.” This refers to any Christian brother or sister. But seems to apply in certain contexts to non-Christians, as well.
[13] Keller, Forgive, 190.
[14] “True repentance begins where whitewashing (“Nothing really happened”) and blame-shifting (“It wasn’t really my fault”) and self-pity (“I’m sorry because of what it has cost me”) and self-flagellation (“I will feel so terrible no one will be able to criticize me”) end” (Keller, Forgive, 149).
Body and Spirit: Christianity and the Importance of Exercise
I recently read David Mathis’ book, A Little Theology of Exercise. It is good and reminded me to finish writing something I started in 2023…
I have been exercising religiously and consistently for the past five years or so.[1] I use both “religiously” and “consistently” purposely here. I don’t primarily exercise for aesthetics or athleticism. But because “exercise is of some value,” as the Apostle Paul says (1 Timothy 4:8).
Some of the values I have seen in my own life: mental clarity, more patience and less anger, self-discipline, less stress (and fewer stress-related canker sores), and less back and knee pain. But that’s not it. My exercise has been religious too.
Exercise can actually be a type of spiritual discipline and an act of worship when done for the right reasons. Christians need to reject lazy and sedentary lives while also avoiding obsession with fitness and body image. Exercise is to serve the higher purpose of loving God and others well.
Christians know the body is not evil or unimportant; it is a precious part of what it means to be human. So, our bodies are to be stewarded to God’s glory. By working to keep our bodies healthy, we position ourselves to better serve God and others.[2] Exercise can help us better steward our time on earth.
Jonathan Edwards, the 18th-century theologian and philosopher, saw the benefit of regular exercise, although he didn’t have a gym to go to. In the winter, when he couldn’t ride his horse and walk, he would “chop wood, moderately, for the space of half an hour or more.”[3] I don’t think what we do is as important as doing something. We all have things we gravitate towards. Physical activity is helpful for us.
John J. Ratey’s book, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, was also helpful. He shows that exercise…
- helps with stress
- is especially helpful for those with ADHD
- is very beneficial for recovering addicts; it can assist the fight for sobriety because of how the reward system works in our brains
- helps with mental agility
- helps spur the growth of new brain cells
- helps combat anxiety and depression
- helps prevent and heal neurodegenerative disorders
Exercise is important. I love what the Apostle Paul says: “Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:8). Of course, the Apostle Paul did not live a sedentary lifestyle.
Paul walked some 10,000 miles on his missionary journeys. So, Paul, although bookish, was also active. Jesus also did not live a sedentary lifestyle. Jesus was a carpenter/masonry craftsman, several of Jesus’ disciples were fishermen, and Paul was a tentmaker.
“Regular human movement has been assumed throughout history.” But now, as David Mathis said, “We have cars, and we walk far less. We have machines and other labor-saving devices, and so we use our hands less. We have screens, and we move less. Added to that, in our prosperity and decadence, food and (sugar-saturated) drinks are available to us like never before.”
We definitely need to hear “godliness is much better,” but I think we also need to hear, “physical training is good.” This is especially the case because we drive, we don’t walk. We order fish, we don’t hoist them in from a ship. We build more things on Minecraft than with our hands.
It does make sense that our spiritual lives are more important than our physical fitness. But I don’t believe there is some huge separation between the two. Activity helps activate our minds. And the Bible says we are supposed to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and we are to glorify God in whatever we do. The Bible also says that Christians are temples of the living God; that doesn’t mean that our bodies must be marble, but it does mean that we shouldn’t treat our bodies like latrines.
We are embodied beings, not disembodied souls. Our bodies, it is true, are not glorified yet; they are battered and broken, but they’re not inherently bad. So, let’s exercise for effectiveness and longevity, not self-worth or selfies. God is the one who instills our self-worth (and gave Jesus for us), and being obsessed with selfies is silly.
Notes
[1] Exercise has been a part of my life since about as long as I can remember. I started playing soccer when I was five and remember first being allowed to jog to Fleets Fitness when I was thirteen.
[2] Scripture says to do good to people as you have opportunity (Gal. 6:7), but more and more, if it is difficult to get off the couch, it will also be increasingly difficult to help people. So, I think disciplining ourselves for the sake of godliness (1 Timothy 4:7) can and even should include physical exercise.
[3] The Works of President Edwards.
*Photo by Mike Cox
We Must Love Others as Jesus Has Shown Us
In this article we’re looking at love. But to quote the singer Haddaway, “What Is Love”? The band Foreigner must not have known what love is because they said, “I Want to Know What Love Is.” Tina Turner was confused about love too, sheasked, “What’s Love Got to Do with It”? I’m not sure what Elvis Presley thought about love but he “Can’t Help Falling In Love.” And Taylor Swift has a whole “Love Story.”
Others aren’t so favorable on the topic of love. Khalid’s opinion is that “Love Lies” and Lady Gaga just says, “Stupid Love.” But the Backstreet Boys don’t care, “As Long As You Love Me.” Justin Bieber’s advice, however, is “Love Yourself.”
But the Beatles have a very favorable view of love. They say, “All You Need Is Love.” Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn’t encourage you by sharing Whitney Houston’s pledge: “I Will Always Love You.”
Okay, I said a lot of things but I didn’t answer my question. What is love? We can talk a lot about love and even sing about it but that doesn’t mean we know what ‘love’ is. This points us to the importance of defining love. It seems especially important to understand what it means if it’s ‘all we need,’ as the Beatles said.
So, what even is love? In the movie 10 Things I Hate About You, we see an explanation of the difference between ‘like’ and ‘love.’
Bianca says: ‘See, there’s a difference between like and love, because I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.’
Chastity says: ‘But I love my Skechers.’
Bianca says: ‘That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack.’
I think Bianca is correct. There is a difference between ‘like’ and ‘love.’ We intuitively know there are differences, but we’re still very often confused. In English, there’s just one word for love: love. In Greek, there are four.[1] The very short Bible passage we’re looking at has two Greek words for “love” (philadelphia and agapaó).
Sometimes a spelled-out definition is helpful but sometimes seeing an example is more powerful. The Bible shows us what love is. Actually, from the beginning to the end, it recites a better love story than Taylor Swift’s (the song or all the hype about her and Travis Kelce).
Paul, one of the first Christian leaders, wrote to a group of Jesus followers who lived in the city of Thessaloniki: “Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, 10for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more” (1 Thess. 4:9–10).
Paul says, “You have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another.” Paul is saying that the Jesus followers know what love is. And they are loving one another. Why? How can our culture be so confused about love and yet they were so proficient at loving others?
They were “taught by God.” Not to geek out too much but this is one word in Greek—they were God-taught. This is the first time in Greek literature that this word appears. Paul made it up. Theodidaktos.[2] It’s kinda like “Bussin” or “Snatched,” it’s made up to communicate something. Except God-taught is amazingly profound and unexpected.
Think about what we learn about love from Greek mythology. Not a lot. Instead, we see gods at war and spreading mass chaos. Here’s a small sample:
- Kronos swallowed up his children as soon as they were born so they wouldn’t have the chance to overpower him as they grew older and stronger.
- Zeus turned his first wife into a fly and ate her, chained Prometheus to a rock so an eagle could eat his liver, was consistently unfaithful to his wife, and turned one of his lovers into a cow to hide her from his wife.
- Athena, known as the wisest of the gods, turned Medusa into a snake-headed monster whose gaze turns people to stone because she was raped by Poseidon.
- Marduk, the god of storms and justice, in the Babylonian creation myth, created the world by defeating Tiamat, the primordial sea goddess, and then used her body to form the heavens, earth, and other elements of the cosmos.
In contrast to Greek mythology, it is amazing that we are “taught by God to love one another.” Greek mythology taught snubbing and brutal subjugation, Jesus taught sacrificial service. Greek mythology taught rape, Jesus taught appropriate restraint. Greek mythology taught lust, Jesus taught true love.
In contrast to the mythology of the time:
Jesus teaches us to Love
Once again, the Bible says we are “taught by God to love one another” (v. 9). The Bible doesn’t just say that God is loving, though it does say that. The Bible says much more. It says, “God is love” (1 Jn. 4:8, 16). Love is deeply connected to God’s very being. This sets the Christian God apart from all other views of God. For love to truly exist there must be relationship. The Bible teaches that God is a relational being to His core. God is triune.
Very briefly, “Trinity” means God is one in relation to His ontological being yet exists in three persons (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). The Trinity is unparalleled in the entire universe but is not a logical contradiction. This, in a way, should not be surprising to us because God is beyond our full comprehension. Although we cannot fully grasp what this means, we do know that God has for all eternity been in loving relationship. This means that because God is love, He cares about love and teaches us to love (1 Jn. 4:7).
What Mark Howell says here is spot on:
“In reality, God is the only One fully qualified to teach on the subject of love, because love would not exist without Him. He is its author. He is its commentator, because you would not know how to love without His instruction. So then, God not only teaches you about love, but He also teaches you how to love. Therefore, to begin any discussion on the subject oflove, the logical starting point must be with God Himself.”[3]
God is love and teaches us what love is. God is love and He teaches us how to love. God being love and Himself teaching us to love is unprecedented. The three-in-one nature of God shows us that He is relational, loving, self-giving, and personal to His core. God is not just some distant, cosmic force. He has personhood. He has existed in all eternity past in loving relationship, odd to say, with Himself. God amazingly calls us to join Him in relationship (John 17:21-23). He recreates us in His image and welcomes us as His sons and daughters. God welcomes us to have communion with Himself.
I love how 1 John 4 says it:
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us… 19 We love because He first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from Him: whoever loves God must also love his brother” (1 Jn. 4:7-12, 19-21).
Many of us were moved by seeing the sacrificial love of Tony Stark (Iron Man) in the Marvel movie, Avengers: Endgame, where he sacrifices himself to save the universe and his friends. Remember? After Thanos’s snap in Infinity War, the Avengers are devastated and the universe is in peril.
Despite Tony Stark’s initial reluctance, he chooses to use the Infinity Gauntlet to snap Thanos and the remaining half of the universe back, even though it means his own death. He utters the famous line, “I am Iron Man,” before snapping his fingers, saving the universe but giving up his own life.
There is a true story of overwhelming and powerful love, not in the Marvel universe, but in the real universe; and salvation comes not through Iron Man, but through Jesus, the God/man.
Tony Stark’s sacrifice is powerful but it’s not real. The thing is, Jesus and His sacrifice are real. The all-powerful, all-good, God who ruled the entire world, and upheld the very universe in which we live, move, and have our being, came into the world and was born in a pohick town, was mocked and ridiculed by His creation—like termites mocking the owner of the house—and Jesus died for those very same mocking termites. Of course, as Jesus’ biographies go on to say, Jesus didn’t stay dead, unlike Tony Stark. Jesus expressed His surpassing love through His sacrificial death and Heshowed His utter power by rising from the dead. So, Jesus beats both hate and death.
We started out by quoting the song, “What is love?” God not only knows the answer to that often confusing question and tells us the answer, but He Himself is the answer. This is love not that we loved God, but that He loved us and set His son to be the sacrifice to rescue us from the consequences of sin (1 John 4:10).
As the late great poets, DC Talk, said, “Love is a verb.” If you don’t remember what a verb is, I get it, but a verb is an action word. It doesn’t just sit on the couch. It doesn’t just talk. It gets up and does something. And God doesn’t just talk about His love for us. He demonstrates His love for us. God loves the world so much that He gave His Son. Because God is so loving He amazingly has made a way for us to be His friend. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).
But, the love of God does not stop with us. We are not to be a damn holding in God’s love. No. We are to be conduits through which God’s love flows freely. Jesus taught us how to love and He loves us, so we love.
Christian love turns the world upside down, it did in the first century and it will today. I don’t mean some undefined vague kind of love; I mean the Jesus kind of love. In this way, Christianity has always been subversive and disruptive.[4]
We must love
The Jesus followers Paul wrote to were already loving each other. Paul is sure that they had been God-taught. They practiced “brotherly love.” Again, not to ‘Greek out’ too much but the word for “brotherly love” here is philadelphia. It’s where the city, Philadelphia, gets it’s name. That’s why it’s known as “the city of brotherly love.” However, perhaps a better way to translate this word is “family affection.” The Jesus followers were God-taught and so clearly had healthy family affection for one another.
In the secular world of that time, the word for “family affection” (philadelphia) was only used for actual family relationships. It wasn’t used within religious groups. It was used to refer to love for one’s siblings. “In the New Testament, however, it is always used as it is here, of love between members of the Christian family (Rom 12:10; Heb 13:1; 1 Pet 1:22; 2 Pet 1:7).”[5]
As Jesus taught us in the model prayer, we are together to pray “our Father in heaven…” We don’t pray alone. We pray to our Father who we share. “The early Christians saw themselves as members of a family”[6] and we should too.
Paul told them, you are loving all the brothers and sisters throughout Macedonia. “But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more.”
When our kids were young and not yet talking we taught them how to communicate with sign language. Our son, Uriah, was sitting in the highchair and wanted more food (it was probably tomatoes based on how much he enjoys them now). So, he excitedly and quickly did all the signs he knew. He didn’t just do the sign for “more.” He almost did every sign he knew simultaneously because he wanted more so much. It reminds me of what Paul is doing here. He’s really passionate about us loving each other more and more. Why? Because God is loving and God Himself showed us how to love. It’s important. It’s worth getting excited about.
Brothers and sisters, if you are reading this and you have turned to Jesus for rescue and you’re following Him as your Boss and Lord, you have been God-taught to love. You must love. What God is saying to us is brothers and sisters, love more and more. And don’t just love in name only.
A deacon in a church who taught the kid’s Sunday school class had poured some concrete for the church… the next day he saw footprints in the concrete. He was very angry and talking very loudly. A man who was standing by said, “I thought you loved kids.” The deacon said, “I love them in the abstract but not in the concrete!”[7] We, however, must love not just in the abstract, but in and through the concrete things of life. It won’t always or ever be easy.
One of the reasons I believe in simple church is because love shines best in relationship. Church is not a building, it’s a body of people, made up of rich and poor, black and white, Jew and Gentile, coffee drinker and tea drinker, democrat and republican. If we are in Jesus, He is our elder brother, God is our Father, and the Holy Spirit is our ever-present Helper.
Church isn’t about entertainment or coffee. Jesus calls us out, out of the boat, off the couch, chair, or pew. Church is about loving Jesus, loving like Jesus, and sharing the life-transforming news of Jesus.
Church isn’t about some super-pastor it’s about the called-out people of God being the church in coffee shops, factories, schools, and offices. Light shines best when it’s not hidden in a building, salt is no good if it’s stuck in the shaker.
Conclusion
Our world is lonely but we have the love of God to share. Our world is isolated and alone but Jesus came to be with us. And brothers and sisters, Jesus said, “As the Father sent Me, in the same way, I am sending you” (John 20:21). As Jesus loved the sometimes unlovely, He calls us to do likewise. As Jesus went to the destitute and distraught, He calls us to do the same. We have been God-taught; as Jesus loves, we are to love.
“God’s own expression of his love resulted in his total self-giving in the person and death of his son. Christian expression of the same love must have the same self-giving quality.”
If we as Christians are God’s adopted children through Jesus, we must resemble our Father, we must be loving. And if we are His children, we must love one another. Beloved, guess what‽ The reality is, in Jesus we are family. So, as Paul said, let’s have family affection for one another, let’s love more and more. Now, as 1 Thessalonians 3:12 says, “May the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all.”
Notes
[1] As C.S. Lewis explains. He says, “There are 4 kinds of love, all good in their proper place.” First, there is “affection love.” This is the type of love that one has for family or familiar relationships. Second, there is “friendship love.” Third, there is “charity love.” This type of love is sacrificial and puts the interests of others first. A fourth would be “like” or “desire.” As we think about love, it is important that we keep these different kinds of ‘love’ in mind. I would like for English to have more options. It doesn’t seem correct that I’ve said, “I love Cinnamon Toast Crunch” and “I love my wife.” Hopefully I don’t love cereal and my wife in the same sense. Yet, I think the fact that in English the four words have been conflated into one word, communicates something.
[2] “‘Taught by God’ translates a single compound word (theodidaktoi). This is the only occurrence of the word in the New Testament and the earliest known occurrence in any body of Greek literature. It may well have been coined by Paul himself. The closest biblical phrase is in the LXX text of Isa 54:13 (quoted in John 6:45). It predicts a day when ‘all your sons will be taught by the Lord.’ A hallmark of the new covenant in the New Testament is the presence of the Spirit with each believer (Acts 2:16–18; Gal 4:6) and the resultant internal witness to the will of God (cf. Jer 31:34; Heb 8:10–11).” (D. Michael Martin, 1, 2 Thessalonians: An Exegetical and Theological Exposition of Holy Scripture).
[3] Mark Howell, Exalting Jesus in 1 & 2 Thessalonians.
[4] In his book Dominion, Tom Holland (not the Tom Holland from Spiderman) argues that the Christian concept of love, which he describes as a social practice rather than a feeling, has been a powerful force in shaping Western morality and the idea of universal human rights.
[5] D. Michael Martin, 1, 2 Thessalonians: An Exegetical and Theological Exposition of Holy Scripture. See alsoMichael W. Holmes, 1 and 2 Thessalonians.
[6] N. T. Wright, Paul for Everyone: Galatians and Thessalonians.
[7] J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible Vol. 49: The Epistles (1 and 2 Thessalonians).
*Photo by Ben Lambert
Equality: What it is & where it comes from
In the United States equality is at least expressed to be important. Its importance is seen in people’s views and policies on political participation, education access, views on employment and pay, and disability rights. The Civil Rights Movement has shown that equality is valued by many but not all.
What does equality mean and where did the concept of equality come from? It means the state or quality of being equal. Are there good reasons for believing in equality?
The Assumption of Equality is An Assumption
Naturalism, the belief that no God exists, gives no explanation or reason for equality. People who don’t believe in God or the relevance of God might believe in equality but the belief for them is not based on any foundation. The idea of equality is accepted as true without proof or a solid reason to believe it.
Yuval Noah Harari is a historian, philosopher, and author who received a PhD from the University of Oxford and is a lecturer at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. I appreciate his candor in this quote from his book Sapiens:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. According to the science of biology, people were not ‘created’. They have evolved. And they certainly did not evolve to be ‘equal’. The idea of equality is inextricably intertwined with the idea of creation. The Americans got the idea of equality from Christianity, which argues that every person has a divinely created soul, and that all souls are equal before God. However, if we do not believe in the Christian myths about God, creation and souls, what does it mean that all people are ‘equal’? Evolution is based on difference, not on equality. Every person carries a somewhat different genetic code, and is exposed from birth to different environmental influences. This leads to the development of different qualities that carry with them different chances of survival. ‘Created equal’ should therefore be translated into ‘evolved differently.’[1]
So, Harari rewrites the famous line from the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truth to be self-evident, that all men evolved differently, that they are born with certain mutable characteristics, and that among these are life and the pursuit of pleasure.”[2]
For the naturalist, equality isn’t really a thing. It is a dream wish. Perhaps maybe pleasant make-believe.
Christians have a Foundation for Equality
The Bible teaches the equality of all humans by saying all humans are made in the image of God (Gen. 1:26-27). It also explains that we are all equally fallen. That is, we all sin and do wrong things. Lastly, it says that salvation is freely offered to all through Jesus.[3]
In Dominion: How the Christian Revolution Remade the World, Tom Holland argues that Christianity has profoundly shaped Western civilization, influencing core values like human rights and equality. It may not be consciously recognized but many Christian beliefs our embedded in society. As Harari has said, we “got the idea of equality from Christianity.”
The belief in human equality and rights, equality of men and women, love for foreigners, and care for the poor, weak, and marginalized are specifically Christian beliefs. History shows us that it was only as Christianity spread that these believes became generally accepted. The ancient Greeks and Romans would have laughed at them.[4]
Christian Equality has a lot of Explanatory Power
“We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.” Sirius Black said this to Harry Potter in one of their last meanings. Humans have complexity as J.K. Rowling is so adept at showing. The Bible agrees. We are complex beings. We are all equally made in the image of God, fallen, and redeemable.
The Bible says we all stumble in many ways (James 3:2). We are all broken. Christians are no less complex. Christians are simultaneously sufferers, strivers, sinners, and saints. So, “The line between good and evil is never simply between ‘us’ and ‘them.’ The line between good and evil runs through each one of us.”[5] Or as Dietrich Bonhoeffer said in prison in Nazi Germany, “Nothing that we despise in the other man is entirely absent from ourselves.”[6]
Therefore, in one sense, Christians should be “culturally wary because they know that evil is real, that everyone is a sinner, that no one is beyond a stumble or a scandal, and that human beings are capable of some devious deceptions and horrific thoughts, words, and acts.”[7] Yet, in another sense, Christians should also be cultural optimists “because they know that no matter how grim and hopeless sin makes the world or how wretched sin makes an individual or a group, it does not define us at our deepest level, and it is an imposter that has no ultimate claim on anyone, whoever they may be and whatever they may have done.”[8]
Christianity gives a realistic and complex picture that explains the paradoxical nature of people.
If we lose Jesus, we lose our bases for Equality
I appreciate how Rebecca McLaughlin says it:
Even if historians agree that our moral building blocks came to us from Christianity it’s tempting to think we can keep the values we cherish while gently removing the claims about Jesus Himself. Like easing out a bottom layer Jenga block, perhaps we can build our moral tower higher without belief in God at all. But extracting Jesus from our moral structure isn’t like gently sliding out a Jenga block. It’s like pulling the pin on a grenade. In the resulting explosion we don’t just lose morality, are sense of meaning blows up too.”[9]
This is the case because if Jesus is not real and right, the next most plausible explanation is that of Harari or Nietzsche.
Conclusion
Secular culture assumes equality but gives no basis for it. Christianity, and specifically Jesus, gives a solid footing for equality. Without Jesus equality is on a shoddy structure and is destined to fall. In other words, if Jesus is make-believe so is equality. On the other hand, if Jesus and His ethic are real, we can’t mix and match to our liking. He is either a liar, lunatic, legend, or the Lord. But if He is anything other than the Lord, His emphasis on equality evaporates with Him.
Notes
[1] Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, 109.
[2] Harari, Sapiens, 110.
[3] See Christopher Watkin, Biblical Critical Theory: How the Bible’s Unfolding Story Makes Sense of Modern Life and Culture, 116.
[4] Rebecca McLaughlin, Is Christmas Unbelievable?
[5] N. T. Wright, Evil and the Justice of God, 38.
[6] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison, 10 as quoted in Biblical Critical Theory, 128.
[7] Watkin, Biblical Critical Theory, 168
[8] Ibid.
[9] McLaughlin, Is Christmas Unbelievable?
Photo by Jacek Dylag
Let’s be the church, not watch church
Many churches have focused a lot of attention on their online presence—online services and social media. There are upsides to these things but what are the potential downsides? In this blog series, we’re asking, “What if church were different?”
Throughout church history, physical presence has mattered a great deal for multiple reasons. And it still matters. Why does physical presence matter?
Jesus’ Physical Presence
This point is the most succinct and it packs the most punch. The incarnation of Jesus is the ultimate sign that points to the importance of physical presence. In Jesus, God took on flesh. He was physically present among people (see e.g., John 1:1-3,14). God values physical presence.
Jesus’ “life is the full truth of living, Jesus is the standard by which life is to be measured.”[1] And Jesus shows us that physical presence matters deeply. Because Jesus was very much present physically.
Shut-ins Need Physical Presence
It is often said that online services are for shut-ins. I appreciate churches thinking of shut-ins but it would also be good to visit those shut-ins. I wonder what percentage of shut-ins utilize online services versus able-bodied people? I think churches investing in and visiting shut-ins would be a wiser and better use of resources (especially when there is already all sorts of church service content available). Our epidemic of loneliness and social isolation is not being helped by the internet and online services. People need actual people.
Online Presence cannot replicate Physical Presence
Actual physical presence has been important for centuries in order to celebrate the Lord’s Supper with the saints. Part of the reason the Lord’s Supper is sometimes referred to as “communion” is because through Jesus we have communion with God and with one another.
Physical presence is important so we can practice the “one another passages.” For example, we are to accept one another (Rom. 15:7), bear with one another (Eph. 4:2; Col. 3:13), forgive one another (Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13), pray for and confess sins to one another (James 5:16), cheer and challenge one another (Heb. 3:13; 10:24-25), admonish and confront one another (Rom. 15:14; Col. 3:16; Gal. 6:1-6), warn one another (1 Thess. 5:14), teach one another (Col. 3:16), bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), submit to one another (Eph. 5:21).
In Bowling Alone, Robert Putnam argues that social capital in the U.S. has declined, as people are less engaged in civic life, social organizations, and community activities. He attributes this to factors like television, suburbanization, and generational changes, warning that this trend weakens democracy and social trust. He calls for efforts to rebuild connections and foster civic engagement. He says, “The single most common finding from a half-century’s research on the correlates of life satisfaction, not only in the United States but around the world, is that happiness is best predicted by the breadth and depth of one’s social connections.” Online presence cannot replicate physical presence.
Discipleship Needs Physical Presence
Following Jesus isn’t just informational, it’s transformational. We are Jesus’ apprentices. We seek to imitate others as they imitate Jesus (1 Cor. 11:1). This requires physical presence.[2]
You can curate your playlist but you can’t curate your pastor or the people of the church. You can skip a podcast with content you don’t like (but maybe need to hear!) but you can’t, or at least you shouldn’t shush the people sitting with you in church. We can be our own DJ of “digital church,” we can form it in our own image to fit our whims, but real church—the gathering of Jesus’ blood-bought body—works to reform us in Jesus’ image. Jesus DJ’s us.
We can filter and unfollow our online community and we can turn it off and on. We can accept, block, and unfollow “friends.” But in real-life discipleship in apprenticeship with Jesus, we must love everyone.
One of the strategies of the enemy at war is to divide the army so that they are more easily defeated. If the arm is divided, they can’t support one another and encourage one another. That is to a great extent what has happened to many Christians today. They are very much on their own and vulnerable to the attack of the enemy.
The Apostle Paul used the “technology” of the time and wrote the amazing letter to the Romans—quite a gift!—but he says, “I long to see you, that I may impart some spiritual gift to strengthen you” (Rom. 1:11). John repeatedly talks about the importance of seeing people “face to face” (2 Jn. 12; 3 Jn. 14). Actual physical presence is important.
Actual “Church is a resistance to certain ways of being formed.”[3] Church is about Jesus, loving Him, and others. It’s not about convenience. Online often malforms us, Jesus wants to form us in His image. If we’re online we’re not putting our life on the line for Jesus and others.
Jesus’ Ideal is Physical Presence
Imagine the scenario in heaven where Jesus is sharing His plan for the redemption of the church… Jesus says, “I want to purchase people from every tribe, language, nation, and tongue so that they will be a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for My own possession, so that they will sit in front of their TV and watch a church service. That’s my dream. That’s my big plan to transform the world and spread love.”
That’s crazy and not Jesus’ ideal. 1 Peter 2:9 says Jesus has made us His chosen race, royal priesthood, holy nation, and people for his own possession, so that we may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called us out of darkness into his marvelous light. What Jesus is doing is creating a bunch of little christs and spreading His love. In other words, God‘s plan for the transformation of all the world is not a bunch of couch potatoes, but an army of little Jesuses.
Plus, we lose out on glorifying Jesus in our diversity if we’re online and not in person. As Kendall Vanderslice has said, “Church is one of the few remaining institutions that brings people together across generations, across physical and cognitive abilities, across relationship status and life stage.”[4]
Conclusion
The world is often a lonely place, especially in America. The Mayo Clinic recently shared an article on the importance of friendship and how to be a friend. The word is realizing what the church has known for centuries and seems to be forgetting. Let’s be the church, not watch church. Let’s be friends, not just accept friend requests. In a world of loneliness, let’s love and open the doors of our homes and hearts.
Notes
[1] Norman Wirzba, Food and Faith: A Theology of Eating, 195.
[2] 1 John 2:6 says, whoever says Jesus abides in them ought to walk in the same way in which He walked. James tells us, “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only” (1:22). Jesus said, “Why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord’ and do not do what I tell you?” (Lk. 6:46). See also 1 Cor. 4:14-17; 1 Thess. 1:4-10; Heb. 13:7-8.
[3] Kendall Vanderslice, “The Church of the Chronically Online” 56 in Common Good issue 17.
[4] Vanderslice, “The Church of the Chronically Online,” 56.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦
Should Pastors be Paid?
Should pastors be paid? What does Scripture say? It says worthy pastors are worthy of pay. Although, there are times when a ministry leader may strategically choose not to get paid.
Biblical Support for Pastoral Pay
Jesus said, “The laborer is worthy of his wages” (Lk. 10:7 cf. Matt. 10:10). John and Paul agree. John wrote, “You will do well to send them on their journey in a manner worthy of God… Therefore we ought to support people like these, that we may be fellow workers for the truth” (3 Jn. 6, 8).
Paul has a lot to say about the topic in his letters. He says,
- “Let the one who is taught the word share all good things with the one who teaches” (Gal. 6:6).
- “Who serves as a soldier at his own expense? Who plants a vineyard without eating any of its fruit? Or who tends a flock without getting some of the milk?… If we have sown spiritual things among you, is it too much if we reap material things from you?… In the same way, the Lord commanded that those who proclaim the gospel should get their living by the gospel” (1 Cor. 9:7,11,14).
- “The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching. For Scripture says, ‘Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain,’ and ‘The worker deserves his wages.’” (1 Tim. 5:17-18)
- “You Philippians yourselves know that in the beginning of the gospel, when I left Macedonia, no church entered into partnership with me in giving and receiving, except you only. Even in Thessalonica you sent me help for my needs once and again… I have received full payment, and more. I am well supplied, having received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God.” (Phil. 4:15-18).
It seems Paul wrote his letter to the Romans, in part, to raise support for his planned ministry in Spain (Rom. 15:20-29). Paul is about Christians supporting Christian work. He told Titus to send along his fellow workers, and he said, “See that they lack nothing” (Titus 3:13). “Every time the New Testament addresses financial support of church staff and missionaries, it underscores generosity.”[1]
Reasons to Abstain from Pastoral Pay
Paul said, “For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ” (2 Cor. 2:17). Pastors and all Christian workers, are never to be “peddlers of God’s word,” we are rather servants commissioned to obey our master. Sometimes it is wise to abstain from pay to make it clear that one is serving the Master and not mammon.
Paul clearly was not in ministry to get rich. He said this to the elders in Ephesus: “I coveted no one’s silver or gold or apparel. You yourselves know that these hands ministered to my necessities and to those who were with me” (Acts 20:33–34).
At times Paul worked as a tentmaker to support his own ministry. In each instance, he had a specific ministry objective in mind.[2] One of the reasons Paul sometimes didn’t take pay for his ministry was to set an example.
You yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate (2 Thess. 3:7–9).
Jamie Dunlop who wrote a helpful book on Budgeting for a Healthy Church, rightly says:
In general, you should pay those who labor to provide teaching for your congregation. Of course, Paul himself sometimes went without the money he deserved (1 Cor. 9:12). But when he did so, his rationale was not one of financial frugality; it was because he didn’t want young congregations to be confused by his pay (1 Cor. 9:12; 1 Thess. 2:5-10). Even then, he pointed out that his not being paid was the exception, not the norm (1 Cor. 9:6-7). In fact, he even goes so far as to describe his support by one church in the planting of another as “robbing other churches” (2 Cor. 11:7-8). Necessary sometimes, but not ideal: normally, a church should support its own pastor.[3]
There were times the Apostle Paul decided not to take pay; instead, he decided it would be best to pay his own way for a season. There could be various reasons for this. In 1 Corinthians 9:12, Paul says he could choose to get paid for his ministry but decided not to make use of that right so as not to “put an obstacle in the way of the gospel of Christ” (1 Cor. 9:12). It seems at another point he did receive financial support from others while he ministered to the Corinthians though (2 Cor. 11:7-9). So, there are a few different reasons why it might be appropriate for pastors and missionaries to abstain from support, at least for a season.
Potential Problems with Pastoral Pay
There are some potential dangers to paying pastors. Here are two from Jamie Dunlop: professionalization and consumerism.
Staff can infantilize the congregation by doing ministry instead of equipping the congregation to do ministry. In fact, the very existence of a staff position can communicate to the congregation that ‘real’ ministry belongs in the hands of trained professionals… Staff can customize ministry for the preferences and needs of specific segments of the congregation. That may encourage a congregation’s consumeristic tendencies, teaching them to value your church based on how well it meets their felt needs.[4]
Sometimes employing professional pastors is asking for problems. John Piper wrote Brothers, we are not professionals for a reason. Pastors sometimes know the seminary world and the passions of their professors, but not the struggles and problems of the people in their pews. They can read Greek but won’t speak in the language of their people. Pictures are posted on the church’s social of the pastor shaking hands but don’t ask him for a hand, he’s far too busy keeping the business of the church going.
Pastors also often tell their people to evangelize but they themselves may not have really talked with an unchurched person in months (or had the opportunity to do so). Pastors can be distant, aloof, and hard to reach. These are some of the potential problems of a “professional pastoral class.” I am not saying it is always that way but it is wise of us to be aware of the downsides of pastoral pay.
Reasons I’m Currently Abstaining from Pastoral Pay
Ministry is not, nor should it ever be, about money. We all, like the Apostle Paul, should seek to authentically love Jesus and others regardless of pay. Of course, pay is not bad. It can be a great blessing. But, here are the reasons I’m currently choosing to be a “tentmaker.”
Setting an Example
The Apostle Paul cared about setting an example for people to follow too. He told the Ephesian elders, “In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’” (Acts 20:35). And in 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul says, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”
I’m calling people to imitate me; be relational, evangelistic, and minister to others. I want to practice what I’m preaching. I want to prove that it is feasible to be a faithful Christian witness where we work, live, and play without being “a professional Christian.” I want to replicate myself in others and not every leader will be able to be paid for their labor.
I’m currently able to work a “secular job” and (at least somewhat) keep up with “equipping the saints for the work of the ministry.” One of the reasons I can (at least somewhat) keep up with ministry besides the flexibility of my job, my awesome wife, and the support of my family (my mom and father-and-mother-in-law!), is that I’m not the only minister. The New Testament teaches the “priesthood of all believers” and says every part of the body of believers is gifted. When the pastor has a “secular job” it means the body must function as a body. It shouldn’t and it can’t just fall on the pastor. Everyone must pull weight and minister (This is definitely a point in favor of a plurality of pastoral leadership too). In this way, I believe bi-vocational ministry facilitates body-vocational ministry.
Stewardship and Simplicity
I trust God has plans for the micro-church movement we’re working on, and that’s what we’re working towards. We want to see God save people out of the harvest who will reach their community where they are. Our ministry model at this point does not require a pastor to get paid so we believe it is good stewardship to invest that money in the future and in mission work.
We want to be prepared to move when opportunities come. More and more church buildings will close. Down the road, I envision our church buying a building to support the local community as well as serve as a stream of revenue (eg., remote working space, coffee shop, venue). We want to facilitate local ministries and invest in training the next generation to reach people where they work, live, and play. My not taking any income at this point is an investment in the future. It also serves to prove the feasibility of the micro-church movement. As Christians, we can and must be able to be the church, even without a paid pastor and even without a budget.
God’s word is not bound; it’s not bound by a building or a budget. Sometimes we try to restrict the Spirit to specific borders but He is pretty good about breaking our preconceived notions. We also believe in simplicity because simplicity helps us focus on Jesus, ensures people are doing the real-life ministry they are called to, and best facilitates multiplication. No need for salaried pastor positions in the micro-church movement allows for easy replication.
Other Reflections Regarding Pastoral Pay
When is a pastor/missionary worthy of pay?
Paul answers that question. For example, he says, “The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching” (1 Tim. 5:17). Some pastors collect a healthy salary but spend their time behind a desk surfing the web and writing or reading about archaic unconnected theological drivel.[5] They’re not shepherding the sheep, equipping the saints, reaching the lost. They’re disconnected from their people and their problems. They’re a hireling (Jn. 10:12).
Others don’t take their job seriously because they don’t take God seriously. Still others pastor as a point of pride. They, as Jesus says, “like the recognition in the marketplace” like the Pharisees (Lk. 11:43). A “worker” like that is not worthy of his wages. I would argue that worker should take seriously what the Lord Jesus has called them to do because Jesus will call His pastors to account (Heb. 13:17).
The pastor who I think is worthy of pay can honestly say something like this:
I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me. For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ (Col. 1:24-2:2)
I’d feel good about you paying for his labor. But not someone sitting in a cushy office making announcements from the chair about how you need to get your life together, fix your marriage, etc. but doesn’t lift an actual hand to help. That person is not a pastor but is like a Pharisee Jesus criticized (Matt. 23:4).
Many “pastors” are managers, not pastors.[6] They don’t teach or shepherd and may not meet the qualifications of a pastor. Instead, their role is to keep the corporate church running and keep the felt needs of people met. Perhaps a lot of church budgets are going to things that are sub-biblical, not necessarily wrong but not the wisest choice for the best long-term Kingdom impact?
What if the office of Deacon functioned as it did in the early church, and pastors were able to pastor and churches didn’t have to hire “pastors” or “ministers directors” to do the ministry that Deacons could do? What financial resources might that free up? The early church gave money generously for the relief of famine, for example. What ministry might the church be able to do if so much wasn’t spent on staff, sanctuaries, and services?
Notice I’m not saying there isn’t a place for spending money on each of those things, but it sometimes seems like the American church thinks those things are the solution, are ministry, and lead to growth. They may lead to growth, but we should be concerned with healthy growth. Tumors grow. They can grow a lot. There is a difference between growth and healthy growth. When Jesus walked the earth with His disciples we clearly see He cared about healthy growth. Jesus still cares about healthy growth.
Conclusion
Yes, pastors should often be paid if they are doing the ministry Jesus has commissioned them to do. The laborer is worthy of his wages. But this assumes he is laboring. He’s not just lazily soaking up a salary. We also see in the New Testament that there are reasons for ministry leaders to abstain from receiving pay. Trends point to this becoming a more common reality. Will pastors be willing and able to pastor with little to no pay? And what may need to change for churches to pivot from the current model to the realities facing us in the future? (I propose some changes in my series, “What If Church were Different?”)
Notes
[1] Jamie Dunlop, Budgeting for a Healthy Church: Aligning Finances with Biblical Priorities for Ministry.
[2] Steve Shadrach, The God Ask, 79.
[3] Jamie Dunlop, Budgeting for a Healthy Church: Aligning Finances with Biblical Priorities for Ministry.
[4] Jamie Dunlop, Budgeting for a Healthy Church: Aligning Finances with Biblical Priorities for Ministry.
[5] Of course, this is not to say that theology and doctrine are not important. They are. See e.g., “The Practical Importance of Doctrine” and “True Knowledge Should Truly Humble.” Pastors are to minister to their actual people. Theological truth is supposed to be directed to particular practical and pastoral aims.
[6] “Although there are exceptions, the traditional Western approach to theological education is to train pastors to be managers of the status quo, not to lead churches for global disciple making. Maintaining ministry structures is the standard.” (J. D. Payne, Apostolic Imagination: Recovering a Biblical Vision for the Church’s Mission Today)
Photo by Gift Habeshaw
Health and Healing, Sickness and Suffering
Health and Healing, Sickness and Suffering
When it comes to health and healing, and sickness and suffering, there are a lot of questions and a lot of confusion.
This topic hits home for me because I serve as Care Pastor at Crossroads Church. But, more than that, it hits home because it is home. All the time. My wife has various diagnoses all adding up to making her chronically ill.* That is, she’s sick. She’s sick a lot; more or less all the time.
Does God want us to be healthy and happy? Then why is there suffering and sickness? And why are some people healthy and some people sick? Why is my wife sick? Did she do something to deserve it? Did I do something? Do we lack faith?
The answers to these questions are not simplistic. They are complex. And they are mysterious. It’s always good to remember that God as God is not like us. His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Is. 55:8-9). That shouldn’t be surprising for us since He’s God, but it is vital that we remember that truth.
So, why sickness and suffering?
Sickness and suffering?
First, we should acknowledge how big and how relevant that question is. People have been asking this question for eons. The Bible gives some very valid and convincing reasons (especially when understand in the context of redemptive history).
Why sickness?
The Fall (sin in general, natural evil)
Sickness was introduced into the world as a result of sin (Gen. 3). When God made the world, it was very good (Gen. 1:31). So, sickness is an intruder. Sickness is not welcome and will not always be in the world. But it is certainly here now. Now in the natural course of the fallen world, people get sick and they die, and people die as a result of old age (Gen. 5 [notice the refrain of “and he died”], 48:1, 21).
Individual Sin (specific personal sin, moral evil)
Sometimes sickness is a result of a specific personal sin (1 Cor. 11:28-30). Of course, all sin leads to separation from God and death. But some sins bring especially pungent consequences. Some sins, as 1 Corinthians says, are against our own bodies (1 Cor. 6:18). Some sickness results from disobeying God (Ex. 15:26). It seems king David himself experienced the physical consequences of sin (Ps. 32:3-4; 38:3-5).
Demonic Forces
From reading the New Testament it seems clear that some sickness is a result of demonic forces. The Gospel of Mark talks about a young boy that has “a spirit that makes him mute” (Mk. 9:17-18 cf. Lk. 11:14). The Gospel of Luke talks about a woman that had a disabling spirit for 18 years (Lk. 13:11). Acts 10:38 tells us that Jesus “went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil” (cf. Matt. 8:16). Yet, Luke also distinguishes between the casting out of demons and healing (see Lk. 4:40-41) and thus shows that not all sickness is due to demonic forces. When we take into account the points below, it is clear that not all sickness comes from demonic forces.
For God’s Glory
Scripture also explicitly tells us that some sickness is for the glory of God. The most cogent and explicit is the story of the man born blind. Jesus says that the man was not born blind because of sin but instead “so that the works of God would be displayed in him” (Jn. 9:3).
Even the death of Lazarus was for the glory of God, so that Jesus might be glorified through it (Jn. 11:4). And Paul’s “thorn in the flesh,” whatever it was, was so that the power of Christ would rest upon him (2 Cor. 12:7-9).
In these examples, sickness was not a result of sin or a lack of faith. Sickness was for the glory of God.
We don’t always know why
At other times we simply do not know for sure what the reason for the sickness is. In Philippians 2:25-30 we see that Epaphroditus, a faithful co-laborer of Paul, was so sick he nearly died. Yet, we are not given a reason for his sickness. And we have no hint at all that it was because of lack of faith or because of a personal sin. And in 2 Timothy 4:20 we see that Trophimus is left in Miletus.
Paul was an apostle, had faith, and had healed others (Acts 19:11-12; 2 Cor. 12:12) and yet that didn’t guarantee that people—even his close and faithful co-workers—would be healed. We know God, by His Spirit, can heal and we can certainly pray that He will. But prayer and even the gift of healing is not a mechanism that we can simply push and guarantee that healing will be the result. God is sovereign over sickness. And for whatever reason, He doesn’t always heal. We don’t always know, as Paul the Apostle didn’t know, why some are healed, and others aren’t. But, just like Paul, we must trust God. He is good. And He has explicitly and repeatedly demonstrated His goodness.
So, sickness is clearly not always a result of sin or a lack of faith.
What should we do when we’re sick?
Look at James 5:13-18. Notice first that before it talks about healing it talks about patience in suffering (v. 7-11). So, even in the context of asking for healing, there is an expectation of suffering.
Next, notice that whatever situation we are in, good or bad, we are always to go to the LORD in it, with praise or lament (v. 13). Then we see what we are to do if we’re sick. First, we need to realize our need. That is what leads to the calling of the elders. So, humility is necessary. When we are sick, we should realize our need.
Second, we are to realize that our need is not just physical, but spiritual. That is why we call for the “elders of the church.” And that is why we ask for prayer. Prayer is a supernatural beseeching of God; it’s going to God as Father and asking for help.
Third, I think the “anointing” with oil could have at a least a twofold significance. In the Old Testament the king would be anointed with oil and that symbolized the Spirit’s presence and blessing. Oil was also used for medicinal purposes (Mk. 6:13) or used as shorthand for medicine as we see when the Good Samaritan took care of the wounded man (Luke 10:34). Therefore, in anointing with oil we are calling on the Spirit to work and we are also confirming the goodness of medicine and imploring God to make it effective to heal.
Fourth, sickness uniquely reveals that we are but dust, that we soon pass away and are no more (Ps. 39). Yet, the “prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up” (v. 15), even if it is on the last day that he is raised up (Jn. 6:39-40, 44, 54). I don’t believe this passage means that just because the elders prayed over someone, and they had faith, they will be healed. But I do believe the prayer of faith saves. I believe this because that’s what the Bible teaches elsewhere (Jn. 3:16; 1 Jn. 1:9). Also, as we have said, some sins uniquely lead to sickness. If someone commits one of those sins, they too can be forgiven (v. 15), but that doesn’t necessarily mean they will be healed.
But, fifth, we do have a strong encouragement to confess our sins and pray for one another that we may be healed (v. 16). We know from elsewhere that sin can hinder our prayer (1 Pet. 3:7). It is the prayer of a righteous person that has great power (James 5:16). Just because people are not always healed when we pray does not at all mean they cannot be healed when we pray. James 5:17-18 goes to great lengths to tell us that Elijah was a normal enough guy and yet God moved mightily through his prayers.
So, when we’re sick, we must realize our utter need; we certainly cannot heal ourselves. We should realize the nature of our need as well as who it is we need help from: supernatural help from God. And we should realize that medicine although good, is no good apart from God’s intervening grace. So, even in our use of medicine we must be reliant and thankful to the Lord. If we have unconfessed sin we should confess and repent, knowing that sin can lead to sickness. Lastly, we should pray in faith knowing that God can and does heal.
We should seek the Lord and medical help
I believe that it’s important that we seek the Lord and medical help. We must remember that every good gift comes from the Father (James 1:17). And so, we should receive our Father’s good gifts with thanksgiving (1 Tim. 4:4).
Yet, it is vital that we not just seek out medical help and not seek the help of God. He’s God! He holds every molecule together. It would be utterly foolish to seek out the help from a person who has limited knowledge on a limited number of things, and not seek out God—the All-Knowing-One.
As great as Asa king of Judah was, this was one of his main sins. Second Chronicles 16:12 tells us that “Asa was diseased in his feet, and his disease became severe. Yet even in his disease he did not seek the LORD, but sought help from physicians.” That’s sad. And that’s foolish.
We should not follow Asa’s example. Rather, we should follow what I propose is the biblical example. We should seek the Lord and we should seek out the good physicians He has graciously provided. Paul even tells Timothy to make use of wine for help with a stomach problem (1 Tim. 5:23).
Does God promise health and healing?
Yes and no
In the story of Scripture, the story of Christ’s cosmic rescue, it starts out and the world is flawless, there’s no suffering or sin. But then the cosmic problem comes in. There’s a tear in time, a warp in the world, a curse in the cosmos. And it’s all because of sin.
Yet, the story of Scripture is the story of Jesus—God in flesh—coming to fix the broken world. The story starts in the Garden with God, and it ends in the Garden with God. It starts with no pain, suffering, sin, or sickness, and it ends that way.
Revelations 21 tells us of the glorious reality of God the Father wiping ever tear from all of His children’s faces. We, however, are not at that place in this true cosmic story.
Yes, that will happen—no suffering, sin, sickness, sadness, or death. But we are not there yet.
Yes
Yes, the LORD both forgives iniquities and heals our diseases (Psalms 103:3-5), but that doesn’t mean that the effects will be fully felt at the same time. For instance, the LORD has not yet brought “justice for all the oppressed” (v. 6). But that will happen. Jesus will bring complete justice. Jesus will satisfy His people with good thingsand He will renew our youth (v. 5). But not yet.
We are forgiven and welcomed into the Kingdom in and through Jesus Christ and yet we are not yet in the full realization of the Kingdom. It is true that Jesus has “took our illnesses and bore our diseases” (Matt. 8:16-17; Is. 53:4). And our main illness and disease is that of sin and in taking that on Himself He enables access to the New Creation in which there is no illness or disease.
As Sam Storms has said, “To whatever degree we experience healing in this life, it is the fruit of Christ’s atoning death.” It is by Jesus that we receive the undeserved grace of God, and God taking our illnesses and diseases is certainly undeserved. “But it doesn’t necessarily follow that where there is atonement there is immediate healing.”
That’s a biblical and verifiable reality. Paul, Epaphroditus, Trophimus, and many other faithful Christian brothers and sisters have had their sins bore by Jesus and thus been accounted righteous (Is. 53) and yet died with various sicknesses. Therefore, Jesus’ atoning and propitiatory death does not equal healing in this life.
There’s also another real sense in which “yes, God wants us to be healthy and happy.” That’s part of why God gives His good commands, so that it may go well with us (Deut. 4:40; 5:29, 33; Eph. 6:3). Yet, following God’s commands does not in any way guarantee that things will go well with us from an earthly perspective. Just look at Jesus’ 12 disciples…
No
Does God promise health and healing? No. Not in this life. However, because of the love of God in Christ Jesus we know that in spite of sickness we have a surpassing hope. We know that all things will actually work together for good (Romans 8:28, in context).
“This light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life” (2 Cor. 4:17-5:4).
God does not promise health in healing in this life. In fact, persecution and plague are very likely to await us. That’s what Jesus repeatedly said (see The New Testament on Suffering). Yet, we are “waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells” (2 Pet. 3:13). This place is not our home. And our current bodies are not our final bodies (1 Cor. 15:35-49).
Conclusion
As you can see, a simplistic answer to the question of sickness and healing will not suffice. Yet, God gives the answer. And the answer is Jesus Christ the Lord. But the answer may be “yes” now, and it may be “no” now, but for all who trust Jesus it’s a “yes” later. Healing will happen. Suffering will cease. But that doesn’t mean it will happen now.
____
*Lyme disease, POTS, EDS. And as of this writing, she has COIVD-19 which is not good to mix in with all of her other health issues.
How to Die Well
We are all going to die. But that does not mean that we are all going to die well. If we are going to die well, first we must remember death (memento mori).[1]
Second, we must look to and learn from Jesus. Jesus, as the perfect Son of God, lived and died well. We’d be wise to take our cues in life and death from Him. Below are eight ways we can die well.
Anticipate
“…Jesus knew that His hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father…” (John 13:1).
We don’t always know when we’re going to die, but we do know we will die (Heb. 9:27). It is wise to anticipate and expect it and try as best we can to be ready for it by God’s grace and for His glory.
I think we best anticipate our death by living each day as if today may be our last day. The truth is, we could meet our Maker today.
Believe
“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31).
That’s number one. That’s most important. Amazingly, God loved the world, the broken, fallen world, so much that He sent Jesus into the fractured world, so that whosoever believes in Him would not forever perish but rather of eternal and abundant life (John 3:16). So, if you have not trusted in Jesus and repented of your sins, do so today. Today is the day of salvation. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Love
Jesus “loved His own who were in the world” and “He loved them to the end” (John 13:1).
Being ready to die well means living in love. Jesus loved to the end. Dying well for us too means loving until the end.
Forgive
Jesus, from the cross, said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
How can we hold unto hurts in life, when Jesus forgave from the cross? How can we hold unto hurts in life, when Jesus forgave at the cost of His life?
Jesus modeled forgiveness from first to last—He came to earth to forgive and left forgiving. How can we who have been forgiven, not forgive (Matt. 6:7-15; 18:21-35)?
Tell
Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43).
Even as Jesus took upon Himself the worst ordeal that we can fathom and that was completely undeserved, He still had the good news of salvation on His lips. The one true King hung on the cross—a perfect rose between two criminal thorns—and shared the message of salvation with the underserving.
If the message of salvation was on the King’s lips on the cross, how much more should it be on ours?! So, if we are to die well, we must tell well. We must share the reason for the hope within us (1 Peter 3:15). We must share the reason why even while we grieve, we have hope (1 Thess. 4:13-18).
Provide
“When Jesus saw His mother and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’ Then He said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home” (John 19:26-27).
Jesus cared for His mother and so He made provisions for her. If we are to die well, we, like Jesus, will make the necessary provisions to care for our loved ones. This does not mean that those provisions need to be lavish and lush, but I do think we should do what we can to help those in our care.
Trust
Jesus called out with a loud voice: “’Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!’ And having said this He breathed His last” (Luke 23:46).
In Jesus’ dying breath He did what He had always done, He breathed in and breathed out trust (Matt. 6:25-34). God has proven Himself in life, we can trust Him in death. Further, Jesus died and was raised to life to bring us to God and thereby Jesus proved that God is truth worthy.
When we trust God in life, it prepares us to trust Him in death. We must all pass through “the Jordan” but we’re helped when we recall God has been with us the whole journey. So, may our dying breath and our last mind glimmer be one of trust. May our faith not fail when are frame is frail and our skin is pale, like an anchor deep may our trust be tethered to the lamb who is the conquering lion.
Receive
“Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), ‘I thirst.’ A jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to His mouth. When Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, ‘It is finished,’ and He bowed His head and gave up His spirit” (John 19:28-30).
Jesus shared a need. He said, “I thirst.” In part, this is connected to a prophecy about Jesus the Messiah (see Ps. 69:21). But I believe another application is it shows us that it is okay to for people that are suffering to seek alleviation of suffering. Proverb 31:6 says to “give strong drink to the one who is perishing.”
So, we see it is okay, and I believe even right, to receive medical help to lessen pain and provide comfort.
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[1] I found Matthew McCullough’s book, Remember Death: The Surprising Path to Living Hope, really helpful and eyeopening.
What is the difference between self-confidence and pride?
Theologically what is the difference between self-confidence and pride?
Self-confidence
God does gift individuals. And it is good to acknowledge that truth. The manager in Jesus’ parable that invested his talents and earned a good return for the owner had to have a type of confidence (Matt. 25:14-30).
Further, God created us as a “work of art” to carry out the good deeds and mission He wants us to accomplish (Eph. 2:10). So, in a sense, we can have confidence in the self that God intended us to be. Therefore, self-confidence is not in itself bad.
Of course, these truths need to be balanced by the humbling reality that we are sinners and that every good thing we have is a gift. What do we have that we did not receive (1 Cor. 4:7)? And we should always recall that every good gift and every perfect gift comes from God (James 1:17). It’s not innately ours.
Self-confidence can mean prideful evaluation of one’s ability. It does not, I don’t think, have to be understood that way though. It could mean something like: confidence in who God made you to be and in your God-given abilities. If understood that way, perhaps “God-confidence” or “God-acknowledgment” would be better.
Either way, it does not seem to me that self-confidence is inherently bad. I also think considering the opposite term can be helpful to consider: “self-skepticism” or “self-suspicion.” The Bible does say that our hearts are desperately wicked (Jer. 17:9). So, does “self-skepticism” better describe what the view of ourselves should be?
I don’t think so. I don’t think self-confidence or self-skepticism gives us the whole picture. And if left with just one of them or even a balance of both of them together, we still miss something huge! We miss our self in relation to God.
If we consider ourselves without relation to or thought of God, we’re going to get it wrong. We’ll error on either over-confidence or over-suspicion about our self. Yet, when we consider ourselves with reference to what God can and does do, we can be confident in who He has made us to be. While at the same time not obsessing about our self, because we’re focused on Him. We can have a healthy suspicion of our self but that’s not crushing. Because we know that God can and does overcome our sin.
Pride
“Pride,” at least how I think about it, has to do with what one has done. In my mind, it means someone is proud of what they themselves have accomplished. Pride is less an evaluation of one’s ability and more so a belief that’s one’s ability is simply a result of one’s own efforts. There’s no grace in pride, given or received; all is earned.
So, with pride, there is a fundamental misunderstanding of who humans are and who God is. God is the giver we, as humans, are receivers. God is, and we are contingent. Pride is a foolish misunderstanding of ontology. God is independent, humans are dependent.
Notice, King Nebuchadnezzar was humbled after he praised himself and all he thought he himself had accomplished. Nebuchadnezzar found out that God humbles those who walk in pride (Dan. 4:37). When pride comes, then comes disgrace (Prov. 11:2).
We should, however, understand that there is a difference between “pride” and “pleasure.” King Nebuchadnezzar didn’t just take pleasure in his kingdom and in all that God had entrusted to him, he took pride in it. That is, he acted as if he was responsible for it all himself. He exalted himself and failed to exalt God.
I believe it is good to take pleasure in the abilities God has given us—whether preaching, building cabinets, or whatever. In a movie about Eric Liddel, a Christian Olympic runner, he says, “God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.” There’s nothing wrong with taking pleasure in what God has given us to do. But, notice an important point: Liddel said, “God made me fast.” Liddel acknowledged God even in his abilities.
But wait, didn’t Liddel run? Didn’t Liddel sweat? Didn’t Liddel sacrifice? He showed amazing discipline to be an Olympic runner, right? Yes. And every good gift is from God. Including Liddel’s ability to do each of those things and also his ability to breathe and his very existence was from God.
So, I believe one could evaluate themself as very good at what they do and that it required a lot of work on their part to become effective, without being prideful. How so? They acknowledge that it is all a gift. Discipline—a gift. Breathing—a gift. Etc.—a gift.
Conclusion
Perhaps the fundamental difference between “pride” and “self-confidence” as we are considering the terms is this: One is an exaltation of self without reference to God, the other can be confidence in God with reference to who He has made you to be.
The apostle Paul had a sort of confidence—we see it demonstrated through his letters and missionary work—but he also said it was not him but Christ in him (Gal. 2:20). Paul, after He met and was radically transformed by Christ, was not so much confident in himself as what God was able to do through him, though he was a mere disposable jar of clay (2 Cor. 4:7).
So, I believe it is right and good to have a kind of self-confidence in who God has made us to be even while we work at killing pride.
*Photo by Nicolas I.
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