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How to Die Well

How to Die Well

We are all going to die. But that does not mean that we are all going to die well. If we are going to die well, first we must remember death (memento mori).[1]

Second, we must look to and learn from Jesus. Jesus, as the perfect Son of God, lived and died well. We’d be wise to take our cues in life and death from Him. Below are eight ways we can die well.

Anticipate

“…Jesus knew that His hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father…” (John 13:1).

We don’t always know when we’re going to die, but we do know we will die (Heb. 9:27). It is wise to anticipate and expect it and try as best we can to be ready for it by God’s grace and for His glory.

I think we best anticipate our death by living each day as if today may be our last day. The truth is, we could meet our Maker today.

Believe

“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31).

That’s number one. That’s most important. Amazingly, God loved the world, the broken, fallen world, so much that He sent Jesus into the fractured world, so that whosoever believes in Him would not forever perish but rather of eternal and abundant life (John 3:16). So, if you have not trusted in Jesus and repented of your sins, do so today. Today is the day of salvation. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Love

Jesus “loved His own who were in the world” and “He loved them to the end” (John 13:1).

Being ready to die well means living in love. Jesus loved to the end. Dying well for us too means loving until the end.

Forgive

Jesus, from the cross, said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

How can we hold unto hurts in life, when Jesus forgave from the cross? How can we hold unto hurts in life, when Jesus forgave at the cost of His life?

Jesus modeled forgiveness from first to last—He came to earth to forgive and left forgiving. How can we who have been forgiven, not forgive (Matt. 6:7-15; 18:21-35)?

Tell

Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43).

Even as Jesus took upon Himself the worst ordeal that we can fathom and that was completely undeserved, He still had the good news of salvation on His lips. The one true King hung on the cross—a perfect rose between two criminal thorns—and shared the message of salvation with the underserving.

If the message of salvation was on the King’s lips on the cross, how much more should it be on ours?! So, if we are to die well, we must tell well. We must share the reason for the hope within us (1 Peter 3:15). We must share the reason why even while we grieve, we have hope (1 Thess. 4:13-18).

 Provide

“When Jesus saw His mother and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’ Then He said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home” (John 19:26-27).

Jesus cared for His mother and so He made provisions for her. If we are to die well, we, like Jesus, will make the necessary provisions to care for our loved ones. This does not mean that those provisions need to be lavish and lush, but I do think we should do what we can to help those in our care.

Trust

Jesus called out with a loud voice: “’Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!’ And having said this He breathed His last” (Luke 23:46).

In Jesus’ dying breath He did what He had always done, He breathed in and breathed out trust (Matt. 6:25-34). God has proven Himself in life, we can trust Him in death. Further, Jesus died and was raised to life to bring us to God and thereby Jesus proved that God is truth worthy.

When we trust God in life, it prepares us to trust Him in death. We must all pass through “the Jordan” but we’re helped when we recall God has been with us the whole journey. So, may our dying breath and our last mind glimmer be one of trust. May our faith not fail when are frame is frail and our skin is pale, like an anchor deep may our trust be tethered to the lamb who is the conquering lion.

 Receive

“Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), ‘I thirst.’ A jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to His mouth. When Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, ‘It is finished,’ and He bowed His head and gave up His spirit” (John 19:28-30).

Jesus shared a need. He said, “I thirst.” In part, this is connected to a prophecy about Jesus the Messiah (see Ps. 69:21). But I believe another application is it shows us that it is okay to for people that are suffering to seek alleviation of suffering. Proverb 31:6 says to “give strong drink to the one who is perishing.”

So, we see it is okay, and I believe even right, to receive medical help to lessen pain and provide comfort.

[1] I found Matthew McCullough’s book, Remember Death: The Surprising Path to Living Hope, really helpful and eyeopening. 

The Bible on the Shortness of Life

The Bible on the Shortness of Life

What does the Bible say about the length of our days? It says are days are short. Here’s the Bible on the shortness of life:

Job 8:9

“For we are but of yesterday and know nothing,
for our days on earth are a shadow.”

Psalm 39:4-5

“O Lord, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am!
Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!”

Psalm 90:10

“The years of our life are seventy,
or even by reason of strength eighty;
yet their span is but toil and trouble;
they are soon gone, and we fly away.”

Psalm 103:15-16

“As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.”

James 4:13-15

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’”

What hope is there in the face of death? In the face of the shortness of life?

 

*Photo by Scott Rodgerson

Do we live for a mere inscription on a tomb?

Do we live for a mere inscription on a tomb?

Is there meaning to this madness? Is it just a rat race and then nothing but a cold, silent, and rotten end? Do we live for a mere inscription on a tomb? An inscription that will inevitably fade with the passage of time?

Seneca Said,

“When you see a man often wearing the robe of office, when you see one whose name is famous in the Forum, do not envy him; those things are bought at the price of life. They will waste all their years, in order that they may have one year reckoned by their name… Some, when they have crawled up through a thousand indignities to the crowning dignity, have been possessed by the unhappy thought that they have but toiled for an inscription on a tomb” (“On the Shortness of Life“).

Christ gives much more to live for. Christ gives us motivation for going “through a thousand indignities.” Christ gives meaning and motivation because through His resurrection our labor in the Lord—whatever it is—is not in vain (1 Cor. 15:58)! We can please the Lord and work heartedly unto the Lord in whatever we do (1 Cor. 10:31; Col. 3:23-24)!

So, the goal of a Christian is not to “wear the robe of office” or be “famous in the Forum.” The goal of a Christian is to put a smile on the face of God their Father and hear: “Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.”

Perhaps that will entail being famous in the Forum or wearing the robe of office but the Christian is indifferent. The Christian’s goal is the same whether a pauper a prince: “He must become greater; I must become less” (Jn. 3:10). Christians know that when they do what’s right, they are still unworthy servants; who have only done what was their duty (Lk. 17:10).

So, no; we, or at least Christians, do not live for an inscription on a tomb. But rather for the One who forever takes us beyond the tomb. We live for the veil to lift so we can see the full marvelous glory of God; so we can continually taste of the goodness of God. It is about God and His glory. He deserves all glory and our very purpose is found in enjoying His glory and glorifying Him in the myriads ways that He has called us to.

Christians “crawl” up through a thousand indignities to the crowning dignity of eternal and endless delight.

So, no matter what they tell us, or no matter what we feel, there is a telos. There is a point. There is meaning.

Our end does not have to be the grave because of God.

_

 *Photo by Ronni Kurtz

Awaking Relevance: Death?

Death?

How do we face the reality of death?

When I was seven I remember weeping with my mom and dad after hearing that my grandma died. I remember kissing her bodies’ cold dead lips at the open casket. I remember the hardness of her skin.

When I was 13 I remember hearing the news right before Thanksgiving that my best friend had been killed in a tragic hunting accident. I remember the silence. The shock and the pain. The questions. The emptiness. The deep sense that it was not right. It was not supposed to be like that.

When I was in my mid-20s I remember hearing that a dear friend that I had met with a few days before and encouraged to keep fighting against his drug addiction had committed suicide. I remember meeting with his family and sitting with them and crying alongside them. I remember his funeral and how his mother was late because she didn’t want to say bye. I remember his mom and girlfriend weeping at his casket and I remember helping them say their final goodbyes.

I remember hearing that my brother-in-law that taught me how to drive and meant so much to me died. His son found him in the kitchen after a massive heart attack. I remember getting a group text message three months later about one of my other brothers-in-law. I was on the campus of George Mason University and the world stopped. My brother-in-law who had been like a brother and father to me had died.

I remember a dear friend that was struggling with depression. I remember first hearing that he had lost the battle and had taken his own life. I remember deeply wrestling that week with what to say at his funeral.

I remember death. I remember the bitterness. I know it is a dark reality.

Death is coming for us all. One way or another. That’s the cold stark truth.

It is appointed for each person to die once.[1]

As Solomon, the great philosopher said, “The fate of the sons of men and the fate of beasts are the same. As one dies so dies the other.”[2]

My own dear wife, because of various health issues, has a shorter life expectancy than most people her age. However, even the concept of “life expectancy” admits the reality of death but seems to try to hide it. We will all die. It would be more accurate to talk about “death expectancy.” But it’s more palatable to say “life expectancy.”

The truth is though, that we should remember death, and remember death often, because we’re all gonna die. We are all terminal. We have the devastating condition known as mortality.

There was a time when danse macabre, or pictures of the “dance of the dead,” were common (see the picture below for an example). The purpose of these pictures “was to remind the viewer not only that death was always close to them and could strike at any moment, but that everyone was equal in the face of it.”[3]

History shows that “What we really need is wisdom for how to truly live and die well.”[4]

Dance of the DeadWhen we live life in light of our coming death, we’ll be better positioned to live well.  Death, however, is more distant from our minds than at any other point in history.[5] We try our best to ignore and silence the disturbing reality of our own mortality.[6] So, to the question: “How do we face the reality of death?” The answer is, at least in many cases: We try to avoid thinking about it.

Reality is what it is regardless of if we accept it or think about it. I believe that we are better positioned for life if we consider and live in light of reality.

There’s a local apple orchard where I live. Their cider is the best tasting liquid I think I’ve ever had. But their cider is seasonal. It’s not available year-round. So that reality means that I need to make the most of cider season. I need to cough up the money and enjoy the cider while I can. There will come a day when I won’t be able to enjoy the cider anymore. That reality has a very real impact on the beverage choices I make.

When we realize the reality of death—and not just cognitively with our heads—then it will make a difference in our lives. We will “buy the cider” and we will enjoy every drop. Death can give us profound enjoyment of life. When we grasp and meditate on the fact that death can snatch anyone away in an instant then we will realize that “life exists to be lived to the full, that every moment must be cherished as a gift, that you should make the most of the few years granted to you.”[7]

Death, strangely, can give us the gift of life; a full and fulfilling life.

“Our modern desire to keep death at a distance, to insulate ourselves from its shadowy presence, is a form of collective denial that diminishes our capacity to feel the fragility and fleetingness of our earthly being, and saps us of our life force.”[8]

That’s why we want to consider death here. We are different from animals. We can consider the concept of both life and death. We know that we will die, and that those near us, our loved ones, will die as well.[9] We would do well to take advantage of this ability.

Humans realize “loss is universal, not exceptional. It’s guaranteed, not unexpected. Every relationship is lost to time. So is every penny of everyone’s wealth, and ultimately so is every life. Loss isn’t surprising. It is basic to the course of every life.”[10]

When we consider the constant reality of the presence of death it helps us to see both how precious and precarious life is. If we don’t acknowledge the haunting reality of death, we are unlikely to truly prize life. Just as money is valuable because it is fleeting and limited so is life.

You might be thinking, “Why would we want to consider anything related to death?” First, it is important for me to challenge you to consider death because I don’t think you have a lot of people telling you to do that. And death is a lot more sanitized than it used to be. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing but the truth is “wakes,” “calling hours,” or “viewings” used to take place in homes and death was a lot easier to consider because it was harder to forget.[11] Now, however, it’s easy to put off thinking about death almost entirely.

But remembering death brings a needed perspective change to our lives.

The other day I was on the couch and my favorite baseball team, the Cleveland Indians, were on and I just wanted to chill and watch the game. But, my kids wanted to spend some quality time with me. They wanted to wrestle. So, I lay there for a little bit but then I remembered something… I remembered death. I remembered to think of things in light of death and so you know what I did? I got up and wrestled with my kids. It was great! I hurt my toe. But it was great!

If we remember death, it will absolutely have an impact on us.

Psalm 39 somewhat strangely says, “O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!”

This Psalm says, “let me know how fleeting I am.” As far as prayer requests go, this one is a strange one… Imagine some guy in the corner saying, “I really want you to pray that I would know the shortness of my life”? That’s a funny picture.

So, why would the person who wrote Psalm 39 ask God for that?

I think of my kids playing with bubbles in the front yard. They blow bubbles. Pop. Pop. Pop.

The Psalm says we are a mere breath.

Pop, pop, pop, and we’re gone.

We don’t know when, we don’t know how, but just like a bubble we will soon pass away.

When we realize that it changes the way we think, and it changes the way we live. That’s why the person that wrote Psalm 39 asked that they would know how fleeting they are.

“We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again.”[12] Death is the way of all the earth. And we are always but a step from it. “We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again.”[13] Death is the way of all the earth. Even the wise die. “The stupid and the senseless alike perish.”[14]

So, I’m telling us to remember death because we’re unlikely to. I’m telling us to remember death because we’re likely to think we’re the center of the universe, but death reminds us that we’re not.[15] I’m telling us to remember death because death helps us to put things in the right perspective and remember the things that really matter.

When we remember things it helps us chart the right course but when we forget even little things it causes us all sorts of problems. That is why “it is better to go to a funeral than a feast. For death is the destiny of every person, and the living should take this to heart.”[16] Therefore, remember death while you yet have life. Let the reality of death give you perspective and wisdom in life.

You may have an elaborate sandcastle, but the tide is rising. “Death has an unmatched ability to expose the flimsiness of the things we believe give substance to our lives.”[17] We are used to commanding our destiny. We make plans and we accomplish goals. But no one has authority over the day of death.[18]

When you’re on vacation and you have limited time, you ironically wear yourself out making the most of the time. You know the time’s limited so do you refuse to have fun? No! You capitalize on the time and make sure you spend good time with your family… That’s death for us.

Even though flowers wither in the autumn doesn’t mean we shouldn’t enjoy their beauty. If anything, it means we must enjoy their beauty while we can. It’s the same with the beauty of autumn. There’s a short window of time when the sky is ablaze with the color of the trees. That scarcity makes autumn all the more precious and beautiful.

The shortness of life should spur us on to make the most of life. Our time is short. So, we should consider how we should live and why?

What hope is there in the face of death?

The Christian Scriptures say a lot about our coming death. It says a lot about how we should prepare for it and live in light of its reality. Ecclesiastes tells us to enjoy life while we can (9:9-10). This makes sense when we are reminded how amazingly short our lives really are (see e.g. Job 14:2; Ps. 90:2-12; 103:14-17; James 4:13-16). And so, in light of the fleeting nature of life, we are told to “number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Ps. 90:12).

The Christian Scripture points to death as confirmation that something has gone terribly wrong in the world. Thankfully, however, that’s not where Scripture leaves off. Scripture says that death is not the end. It is not the termination of all consciousness.

When Jesus’ close friend Lazarus died, Jesus wept (See Jn. 11:1-54). Jesus did not react with cold detachment. Jesus intimately cares. Jesus is heartbroken. One of the reasons He’s heartbroken is because death is not the way it was supposed to be. That’s partly why we’re repulsed by it.

The Bible teaches that God has no pleasure in death (Ezekiel 18:32; 33:11; 1 Timothy 2:4, 6; 2 Peter 3:9; Titus 2:11). And so He did something about it. He provided a way for people to be saved from death; the death the Bible says that was deserved.

Death is deserved because of sin. Just as a ticket is the wages of speeding, so death is the wages of sin. Just as speeding is dangerous and destructive so is sin. And so it’s taken seriously and punished to minimize its destructive impact.

So “death spread to all, because all sinned.”[19] Because of sin, no one can live and not see death.[20] “Judgment in Scripture,” however, “is anything but arbitrary or capricious… Most often, judgment is a matter of God leaving an individual or a society to the logic of their own settled choices.”[21]

Christ brought rescue from sin’s penalty but its presence remains until He returns. Soon death will be no more, the Christian Scripture teaches. But not until then. Yet, there is rescue from both the penalty and presence of death through Christ.

So, what hope does Christianity give in light of the grim reality of death? The Bible talks about resurrection. It talks about the resurrection of Jesus the Messiah and it talks about the eventual resurrection, to true and everlasting life, for all those who trust and follow Him.

Perhaps this is getting a little out there for you now. Too much like an episode of The X-Files or Stranger Things.

I’d encourage you to at least read on and check out the next post. Partly because I believe, as Matthew McCullough has said, “It is Resurrection or vanity.”[22]

Read More…

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