Authentic Church: Moving Beyond Performance
What if church were different? What if we were authentic instead of artificial?
We’ve communicated for decades that church is essentially a performance that you sit down and watch. Is it any wonder so many have decided church is irrelevant? If that’s what church is, it is to a great degree irrelevant. When surveyed, the unchurched gave “There is no value in attending” (74%) as their top reason for abandoning the church.[1] We can get better entertainment at home or half a million concert venues, amusement parks, or sporting arenas. The church can never offer all that the world can, but the church offers something the world can never offer. Have we sold our birthright for a meager porridge?
People long to be real. There’s even a social media platform called “Be Real.” Christians must be real, for real. Distrust in corporations and institutions is very high[2] and most churches have all the markings of a corporation.
What if we did away with the stage and a staged experience? What if instead of curating a culture that looks perfect and happy, we were able to be honest even when we’re struggling? We need a hospital instead of a beauty pageant. We need people to be able to be their sick selves and get better rather than just plastering on a fake face.
Scripture calls us to “bear one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2) and “confess our sins to one another” (James 5:16). If we are to carry out these commands of Scripture, we must have a culture that supports and allows their practice, not that contradicts their practice.
Also, the very structure of the “church service” is often artificial. Going to a “service” where we sit in a chair or pew is disconnected from most other parts of our lives. It is more similar to going to a movie or a theatrical performance and is not integrated with the rest of our lives. Many churches have community groups to provide a real-life Christian experience. Churches see the need for real-life Christian relationships, and a Sunday service doesn’t and can’t provide that. It is, however, much more convenient to just “get fed” at church and not bother with being the church, so often people opt out of authentic community.
Christians are to shine as lights in the world but that doesn’t mean they have to be “shiny happy people.” The word hypocrite comes to us from Greek and means to “pretend” or “play a part” as in a theatrical performance. Christians, however, have no need for a mask. As Christians, we know we are all simultaneously saints, sinners, and sufferers. That’s the reality. But many “church services” don’t take those simultaneous statuses into account. The biblical worldview communicates that there is a time for sorrow and a time for rejoicing (Ecc. 3:4; 2 Cor. 6:10). There is a time to lament and a time to dance and praise. But we often lack that breadth of expression. Yet, how can we bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2) if we shy away from the fact that we have burdens?
Jesus often hungout with the lower-class rabble and rebel rouses. Modern American Christianity often communicates that cookie-cutter, middle class is the ideal. Can we expect people in the church to be real, honest, and seek help with their challenges when the church service presents a squeaky clean picture of what it means to follow Jesus? Again, if “the medium is the message,” the message is Christians live super happy, put-together lives. Is it any wonder those who are suffering or struggling don’t want to share, or “go” to a church where perfection is televised from the stage?
Notes
[1] See James Emery White’s book, Meet Generation Z, 84 where he references research done by the Barna Group for his previous book Rethinking the Church. It should be noted that this data is old as that book came out in 1997.
[2] Office of the Surgeon General, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community, 13.
Observations from a Hospice Chaplain
It is counterintuitive, but one of the wisdom literature books in the Bible, Ecclesiastes, says it’s better to go to a funeral than a feast. Why would it be better to go to a funeral than a feast? Because a funeral is the destination of all people, the living should consider that reality and take it to heart.
As a hospice chaplain, I think about the reality of death. Our culture often doesn’t. We live in a “society that often isolates death and dying from the flow of daily life, unlike almost every other society in history… The modern West is an anomaly in this regard: most ages and cultures have lived much closer to the fact of human mortality.”[1]
There are various benefits to being aware of the reality of death. For one, death is a reality. Future drivers ideally care at least a little bit about their education on how to drive. We, all the time, are preparing for things that are inevitable in the future. It makes sense for us to prepare for death, as well. As the psalmist says, our years are limited, “so teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Ps. 90:12).
𝟏) 𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬.
Little everyday decisions shape us into the type of people we will be. We are in the process of becoming. Death reminds us that the way we live every day matters.
Be aware of your trajectory.
𝟐) 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.
“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22). I have definitely seen this lived out. Our attitude and perspective matter in life and affect the way we die.
Cultivate a heart of thanksgiving.
𝟑) 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝.
I don’t think many people will wish they had spent more time on their iPhones when they are lying on their deathbeds. Ask yourself: “Am I valuing what is valuable?”
Don’t waste your time (what your life is made up of!) on pointless pursuits.
𝟒) 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫.
On our deathbed, what will matter most is not the plaques on our walls or the money in our bank account. It is the relationships made, the people we invested in, and the people standing around our bed. Vivek H. Murthy, who served as the surgeon general of the United States, said, “When I think back on the patients I cared for in their dying days,… their status in the eyes of society were never the yardsticks by which they measured a meaningful life. What they talked about were relationships. The ones that brought them great joy. The relationships they wish they’d been more present for. The ones that broke their hearts. In the final moments, when only the most meaningful strands of life remain, it’s the human connections that rise to the top.”[2]
Make time for relationships even if it means less money.
𝟓) 𝐃𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.
Christians specifically believe that “what is suffered by one can be suffered by all, and that every body is a fragile temple of God’s Spirit and worthy of care.”[3] The dignity of every person, even in their dying days, is a precious and important value. And caring for people and helping them die well matters. The truth is, dying for most people will be messy in a biological sense. However, those with knowledge and skill can provide compassionate care to the bodily needs of dying persons. I have been honored to see hospice nurses and aids provide this tenderhearted care.
Honor others (even if they’re radically different or difficult).
𝟔) 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞.
We all die in the same way. No matter how competent, tough, resilient, and successful, we will need help. We are all human. “Nothing human is alien; no joy and no sorrow, no way of living and no way of dying.”[4] As John Donne, the pastor poet, said, “Death comes equally to us all, and makes us all equal when it comes.” Or as Jerome, the theologian, said, “He whom we look down upon, whom we cannot bear to see, the very sight of whom causes us to vomit, is the same as we are, formed with us from the self-same clay, compacted of the same elements. Whatever he suffers, we also can suffer.”
Don’t assume that something bad that happens to someone else, can’t happen to you; it can.
𝟕) 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐕𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞.
There’s a lot more to everyone around us if we have eyes to see and ears to hear. What we see is just the tip of the iceberg; everyone has a lot under the surface, a history.
Take time to get to know people and don’t prejudge.
𝟖) 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐝.
“There is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4). Grief is the price we pay for love. Tears tell a tale of love.
When appropriate lean into both sorrow and joy, they’re important and related.
𝟗) 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.
People respond to the presence of people. Physical presence matters. I think of 2 John 12: “Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy may be complete.” FaceTime is great but it can’t replace face time.
When present be present, and prioritize physical presence over technological alternatives.
𝟏𝟎) 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞.
Don’t wait to rest and relax until you retire. I’ve met people who have said, “When I retire I will ___.” But, when they retired, they got the diagnosis.
Remember you’re going to die, and you don’t know when, so live while you’re alive.
𝟏𝟏) 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐅𝐚𝐢𝐥.
If we live long enough, no matter who we are, our bodies will become frail and fail. No matter how healthy, no matter how strong, our bodies can and will fail; and they can fail when least expected.
Take care of your body but know there will come a day when it will fail more and more.
𝟏𝟐) 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝.
As my brother, and I’m sure others have said, “The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago, the second best time is now.” It’s the same with relationships, end-of-life planning, and anything important.
If there’s something important that needs doing, do it.
[1] Amy Plantinga Pauw, “Dying Well” in Dorothy C. Bass, *Practicing Our Faith*, 163.
[2] Vivek H. Murthy, *Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World*, 284.
[3] Stephanie Paulsell, “Honoring the Body” in Bass, *Practicing Our Faith*, 17.
[4] Henri Nouwen, *The Wounded Healer*.
Photo by Dominik Lange
Layout your Lament to the LORD (Psalm 10)
The Bible teaches us that we can layout our lament[1] to the LORD. We can cry out to Him for help or to honestly share our disillusionment. Lament psalms make up around a third of the book of Psalms and is the most numerous type of psalm within Psalms.[2] And so we see, “The vast majority of psalms were written out of a real-life struggle of faith.”[3]
The Bible teaches us that we can layout our lament to the LORD. We can cry out to Him for help or to honestly share our disillusionment.
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Here we’re looking at Psalm 10.
Cry for Help (v. 1)
The first thing we see the psalmists does in this psalm is cry out for justice. “Why, O LORD, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?”
We too can take our honest wrestling to the LORD. In fact, that is what we must do. We must bring our laments to the LORD.
The Psalms and Our Songs
The Psalms are important for a number of reasons. For one, they take up a fairly large portion of Scripture and they have been a comfort for many. Spurgeon, known as the “prince of preachers,” struggled with depression and he found comfort and solace in the Psalms. He spent some twenty years writing his three-volume commentary on the Psalms.
The Psalms are also important because we are exhorted to sing Psalms. The Psalms are important because they give powerful truths poetic expression. This is helpful because it not only helps us remember the truths but helps us feel the truth. The Psalms are beautiful and will have a very practical impact on us when we soak in them.
Interestingly, Scripture has laments in it and so does our surrounding culture. Most Christian circles, however, do not have laments. Why is this? Is it because Christians are always happy? And always live victoriously? I don’t think so.
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